To not feel safe in changing rooms anymore?

[WandaWomblesaurus]

nypost.com/2023/01/14/sighting-of-trans-womans-penis-in-ymca-locker-room-sparks-tears/

Another story about an inappropriate man in a woman's changing room - is this what we are going to see more of in the UK now too? Having been both flashed and sexually assaulted in a public place, this chills me to the bone. Men who get a thrill out of exposing themselves to women will use any opportunity to do so. To think that they won't abuse women's spaces is to be wilfully and dangerously naive.

YANBU - Not unreasonable to think that flashing is flashing regardless of self ID and magical feelings.

YABU - Be kind to men etc etc

Absolute and utter nonsense.

You dont speak for all women. The arrogance is strong.

She speaks for most women, according to polls on the subject.

Sexual assault isn't usually about being 'turned on' by the prospective victim. It's not like rapists etc choose their victims based on whether they 'fancy' them or not. When a guy exposes himself, for eg, he'll do it to any woman, regardless of what she looks like. He, and rapists, and assaulters, are far more likely to choose victims based on whether they look easier to overpower (which is why you get so many children being attacked). So that you and your friends aren't turned on by the idea of women in changing rooms is irrelevant.

Your example of being attacked by someone of another ethnicity is also irrelevant. Women who are attacked, assaulted, beaten etc are attacked, assaulted, beaten by men. (Yes, there may be one or two examples of where a woman sexually attacks another woman, but so rare.) Lots of men would be attacked by other men, of all kinds of ethnicities. So the fact you don't have a fear of being attacked by another person of the same ethnicity, is not the same as a woman's fear (or lack of) of being attacked by another man. Because statistically, she IS almost 100% likely to be attacked by a man... if she is going to be attacked or assaulted.

I appreciate a man speaking up about this, though. I've been trying to think of a way to equate the experience of the threat women feel from men (when out jogging in a park, walking in the dark etc) to a man's experience, but I just can't find a way to help men understand... being aware that if you are going to be attacked it is almost certainly going to be a man is just part and parcel of being a woman, in today's world. Because it's just a fact. So our concern is based in reality.

YANBU I don't use changing rooms anymore for this reason.

There are quite a lot of photos on twitter of men dressed as women with their cocks out whilst in female spaces such as bathrooms and changing rooms. Seems to be a bit of a thing. I do report when I see them and block people who retweet these images but still see 2 of them this weekend.

When did you speak to the majority of the population? Did it take a while?

Man here. Not pretending otherwise for the purposes of this post as is being suggested above.

I don't want single sex changing rooms and neither does any man or boy ( especially) that I know.
Furthermore I don't care to see a penis in my own changing room if there are cubicles provided.

I was appalled to see a naked guy with a cock ring strutting about ònce when my boys were toddlers.
YANBU .

No, in REALITY. Do you understand the difference between MALE and FEMALE?

You are seriously suggesting that some women can consent on behalf of others and their consent outweighs or is even equal to those who refuse?

And polls are representative of real life? the real world?.those not on mumsnet? No.

Even if they were, irs arrogance

I dont agree with your views but I respect your right to have them. Something that others seem to lack. Women is not one big category that thinks and acts the same.

No, it is not 'nonsense', it's fact. Men are a threat to women. Having men in womens spaces increases the risk of rape. As the CURRENT DATA proves.

You're really quite rude.

My point is, if you're not into feelings and thoughts, and are that narrow minded, your feelings shouldn't matter.should.they?

Feelings based on a real threat of proven harm vs feelings which have no basis in reality and are about validation at best?

To suggest me suggesting stories like this are not black and white is not enabling rapists. To suggest otherwise is simply offensive as you have proved yourself to be throughout this thread.

And polls are representative of real life? the real world?.those not on mumsnet? No.

Not a mumsnet poll, a weighted cross section of society 🙄 multiple times. People aren't buying it, however sad it makes you.

Are you able to provide statistics of how many young women were raped (not saw a penis in a shower or through a door) in a female changing room in say, the last year?

The most likely person to rape you is in your own house. Perhaps we should banish men entirely.

Wrong. They were covering the same event. But apologies - I should have put the Guardian's coverage first and the fact I didn't is confusing. To clarify:
The Guardian's instinctive response was that the Black woman who complained about her young daughter being subject to indecent exposure was an anti trans bigot:
"The unsubstantiated allegations about Wi Spa in LA’s Koreatown neighborhood quickly spread from social media to rightwing forums to far-right news sites to Fox News, and were distorted by anti-transgender groups across multiple countries".
**
It took some time for the police to arrest the perpetrator who claimed to be trans and this was his "modus operandi" to get access to women's spaces in order to offend. He had previous convictions as the Guardian subsequently acknowledged in the link you provided.

I think anyone who suggests there is no difference between a male and a female, and that women aren't at increased risk of threat if men are in our spaces, and that women don't 'need' these single sex spaces, is EXTREMELY RUDE. Rude, compassionless, and lacking in human decency and human empathy.

Feelings aren't the only reason we have single sex spaces. Risk, safeguarding and biological reality, IS.

If you say so.

Would you like to expand or is this simply the pack mentality that continuously prevents this debate from progressing behond 'cause we said so'?

Except I didnt actually say any of those things.

You seem to have an issue with your caps lock..

To suggest the risk of rape is 'not black and white', is really deeply disturbing and offensive. Your whole tone and arguments are deeply offensive. To me as a rape victim and to most other women.

Then we can have single-sex spaces, as we already did, and add mixed spaces for those who want to use them. I have no intention of forcing you to use single-sex provision if you would prefer to use a mixed-sex changing area next door.

However, removing single-sex provision is not something I will accept, and I'm sick of being forced to choose between mixed-sex provision and none.

LOL 😂 Excellent post!

I'm not sad at all.

I have my opinion and respect.other people to have theirs, unlike.the majority of posters on these threads.

If everyone behaved themselves then this really wouldn’t be an issue, would it. Most women have nothing against trans women sharing their space but not those who deliberately seek to offend. Simple solution is to complain in writing and use your purchasing power. When it comes to clothing and general retail women enjoy a hefty purchasing power. If you don’t like a company’s policies on this matter then don’t purchase from it, not in-store nor online. Money talks.