Partners friend sending inappropriate images

[lucie333]

So me and my partner have got 2 boys together. 3 & 9 months. I'm very hurt by what I've just seen. My iPad was connected to his fb messenger app and when I was watching a film I seen that his friend had sent what I thought was me 14 photos on fb messenger so I clicked on them! It was 14 images of women from our town ( naked) no idea why he has them as he has a girl friend himself! He's out with him now obviously thinking about it. Am I being dramatic thinking I need to leave this relationship?

OP, if that really is your partner, you need to leave

That person commenting is definitely not my partner 😂 he is dyslexic and doesn't use grammar like that, he also has no idea what Mumsnet is, he's also probably drunk as hell😂

It’s sad that you think this is ok and normal. It’s not normal at all. It’s not porn either, it’s personal intimate photos of local women. Clearly your partner has some questionable behaviour if you think this is normal. 😬

Thank goodness for that!!!

Can everyone report @MosaicMon pls this is a troll! Pretending to be my partner !

You’re insane

Also to clarify, the pictures are of someone my mate hooked up with. He sent me them as a ‘look what I’m getting’ kind of message. Yes of course I liked them, but would never cheat despite what my lovely trusting girlfriend alleges.

🙄if you were genuine you'd sound awful anyway.

Op personally I would contact the women involved and ask if they know their nude pictures are being shared. That’s absolutely not ok

Absolutely this^^

Here is the attention you so desperately need, you clearly don’t get any in real life 😉

@MosaicMon what a strange person, pretending to be my partner 🤣

What a fucking weirdo, and what a strange way to get kicks 🤷‍♀️ ah well each to their own.

Anyway back to your problem OP. Sounds like a nightmare scenario, I think you will have to confront him (once his hangover has subsided and you can have a decent conversation). It's really disrespectful to you that he and his friend would be exchanging photos like this not to mention illegal if the women involved haven't consented.

I would be sending my partner a message clarifying that what his friend is doing is not okay sharing making photos of women that you both know in fact it's breaking the law.. and you'd like to know why he's sending them to you

Naked *

if your partner doesn’t mind receiving nude images of people you know that really concerning

Don’t jump to conclusions about your partner.
he might be equally disgusted at being sent these photos

IMO there's two separate parts to this. The actual content of the messages is between your partner and his friend - they weren't sent to you, and even though you've seen them it's clear that you weren't supposed to. You say that the notification popped up on your iPad, but only you know whether that's actually true. A suspicious person would say you could equally well have gone snooping through your partner's Messenger account because he left it signed in. You ultimately don't know whether these photos were shared consensually or not, and personally I'm a firm believer in not inserting yourself into situations that weren't supposed to involve you. It isn't any of your business. I wouldn't go trying to look for these women to tell them.

When it comes to your partner, that's a different matter. You have to decide whether you're OK with knowing that he's involved with this person or not. The only way to figure it out is to ask him what was going on and why his friend sent him the messages. If you don't like his response or don't trust what he's telling you, I'd say that's a red flag. If it's not the first time it's happened, it's unlikely to be the last.

I’m confused about the photos. What kind of photos - as in women posing naked or secretly taken or what? How do you know they are local? Sorry you’re going through this op

They were photos of the girls naked. Their faces were in most of them, so it's photos that they have taken

I think it would be dramatic to leave your partner over this. My sense is that his friend sees this a 'juicy gossip' rather than sexually titillating, in a similar way to how you might share pics of your counties recent convictions. I doubt they're pictures he has taken and in his 'excitement ' he's forwarded them to a group of people.
This has likely been done without the women's consent which would be illegal, though I guess they could all be on Only Fans etc or 'offering services'.
It's a tough one. I'd be inclined to confront this friend but I wouldn't necessarily be be reporting it. I'd need to see his reaction. If on reflection he seemed remorseful and ashamed I'd let it go 'with a warning', if not, I'd take action.
As for your partner, I'd be having a similar conversation with him. Just bear in mind that if this is reported it could have serious consequences for anyone who's been involved. I would definitely let any of the women know and they can choose how they want to proceed.

Ok so some women sent naked photos of themselves to other people. Those people then chose to send those photos on to other people. Your partner and friend are together tonight. There isn't enough information here to determine your partner's role in all this. Did he request that his friend forward those photos on to him, or if the friend just decided to do it?

Wow, that's a jump!

Go further up the messages, just scroll up and up, if there are more pictures, see what your partners reply is to them. That would be swaying my response and reaction.

My husband was being sent video clips of people jumping to their deaths etc and of half naked women. My DH never replied to any of them. We did have a discussion about it, but It aligns that he is a non confrontational man, and just hoped that he would stop if he wasn't replying in the positive. He did however after that time, as the only thing that brought up the subject was that he sent a video through when our DD was on his phone. He couldn't drag the phone off her quick enough. If he'd jabs been enjoying the videos I'm not sure what I'd have said, but I don't see how I couldve continued on with a man who enjoyed seeing people's lives ending

That's a lot of known women to have nudes of - what are the odds of that? Is the friend a nudie collector?