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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH totally over-reacted

145 replies

niceduvet · 14/01/2023 20:05

Late morning today I went shopping in town and I realised on the drive down that I'd forgotten my phone (my fault I know). I told my daughter who came with me to let DH know that I would hope to be back home about 4ish (very approximately) as she had planned to go back home from town before me. I got rather delayed in one shop trying on multiple pairs of much needed new jeans (as I mine had bust in embarrassing places).

I finally got home at 5.45pm and found DH on the phone to the police in the process of reporting me missing, having already rung round most of of my work colleagues to ask if they'd seen me (I sometimes pop into work on a Saturday to pick up things to enable me to work from home sometimes). He'd got himself rather panicy because obvs he couldn't contact me as I'd left my phone at home. He was rather angry when I came through the door.

AIBU to feel his reaction was a bit OTT? He knows when I give him timescales they are approximate especially when I'm shopping. I know I was much later than I said and it's lovely that he cares but the police and all my colleagues - really?? He is prone to being a bit of a drama queen sometimes. I now feel rather embarrassed that I will have to explain to my colleagues when I next see them what happened. He feels he is entirely justified in his actions and would do the same again, despite me questioning whether he felt he was a bit rash!

OP posts:
Glitterandcard · 14/01/2023 20:13

You were under 2 hours late and he called the police?!

I’d have probably been annoyed if I’d been him (was he waiting to cook dinner/go out etc?) and I think your excuse about jeans making you that late is feeble but I wouldn’t have been bothering colleagues or calling the police to report a competent adult missing unless they were particularly vulnerable or had relevant previous history. What does he seriously think the police are going to do about it?!

determinedtomakethiswork · 14/01/2023 20:14

Was he waiting for you to come home and cook his dinner?

Lilly11a · 14/01/2023 20:17

Why, if he was super worried did he not message your daughter and ask if you were running late ?

If she messaged him , then he would have had her number

ZenNudist · 14/01/2023 20:17

How strange. Is thus the first time he has shown such over anxious behaviour? Is he having a bad time lately or does he need to seek professional help. This is not normal. The fact he doesn't realise that is more worrying.

grayhairdontcare · 14/01/2023 20:18

It's a completely bizarre overreaction on his part.

Outtasteamandluck · 14/01/2023 20:18

Here comes the drip feed.....

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 14/01/2023 20:20

Yeah that's bonkers. Is there more to this story?

MilkshakesBringAllTheCoosToTheYard · 14/01/2023 20:20

Bonkers. Had your DD gone home before you? Had he messaged or spoke to her? The police would have laughed in his face.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 14/01/2023 20:20

My husband would probably do this but he really doesn't have any other faults so I just put up with his overreactions and try not to do anything that would put him in that position.

Changingplace · 14/01/2023 20:20

That’s a massive over reaction on his behalf! What a drama queen, ridiculous.

Unicorn717 · 14/01/2023 20:21

Unless you've randomly disappeared for days at a time before then he is being ridiculous! You were under 2 hours later than what you first said and even that was just an estimate.

Original poster
niceduvet · 14/01/2023 20:22

Yes - he has to have dinner by 6.30 or he gets hanrgy. He had to start cooking himself (he's a competent cook) and I'd agreed to cook tonight so he was prob pissed off about that which I get, although I still would have got tea on table by 6.30 to be fair to me. Doesn't quite explain why he called the police and all my colleagues though.

OP posts:
Aproposofwhatnow · 14/01/2023 20:22

I would be so angry if my partner did this. It strikes me as really weird and controlling. Just reading your post really freaked me out.

StaceySolomonSwash · 14/01/2023 20:22

The police wouldn't entertain a missing adult person report before 24 hours usually (barring mental illness, vulnerable person etc etc) but he was definitely over reacting. You weren't even 2 hours late! 😳

Aproposofwhatnow · 14/01/2023 20:24

Hangry?

God I actually feel embarrassed for the man. He's an overgrown toddler calling the police when mummy isn't home on time and he can't make a sandwich to tide him over.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/01/2023 20:24

Doing a quick AS makes me think more than from just reading this that he's potentially very controlling by the way you write about him.

Are you OK?

Unicorn717 · 14/01/2023 20:25

I'm sorry but getting 'hangry' god I hate that word isn't really a reason to ring the police because you were home a bit later than he thought you would be.

Pebbles16 · 14/01/2023 20:29

And this is why life was better before we all needed to be in constant contact with each other.
Hangry my arse: have a slice of toast, apple, packet of crisps

VioletLemon · 14/01/2023 20:30

There must be more to this story, he must be extremely anxious. It sounds like he is in need of help for his hypervidulence.

RP2211 · 14/01/2023 20:30

He's clearly got major anxiety issues but maybe not admitted to that? Like what's the thing with having dinner by 6:30?

HandsOffMyCarrierBags · 14/01/2023 20:34

Very bizarre behaviour from him.

LordSugarTits · 14/01/2023 20:34

He's very wrong to be angry with you and yes, I'd say he overreacted.

UsingChangeofName · 14/01/2023 20:35

What a waste of police time.

Your dh was being completely ridiculous.

gamerchick · 14/01/2023 20:39

Didnt he click on when he rang your phone, heard it in the house that maybe you had forgot it?

Tell him, your colleagues will now be wondering and gossiping that you're in an abusive relationship. Give him a slow handclap and ignore the daft twat.

findmybalance · 14/01/2023 20:39

Why didn't your daughter text or call him?

That aside- this sounds like a curfew. Please post more honestly about the things he does Op. This is not an isolated incident, is it?

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