To despair at the NHS re hospital scan

[Jessandtess]

This is part AIBU part desperate plea for advice.

i am currently 37 weeks pregnant and having a c-section in 13 days time. Im having regular growth scans and need one before the section goes ahead, which my consultant has insisted on. And he needs it done before our pre op appt late next week.

I’ve had childcare fall through for DD18 months so can no longer make my planned 38 week scan date, I’ve called to rearrange and been told scans are like gold dust and they can’t offer me a different date until the 2nd of March! Which is a teeny bit late.

I’ve asked if they can wave the no children coming with you rule since I need the scan, it’s not really a case of being able to just cancel and leave it. But alas the reply I got from the lady at the hospital was ‘well you’re just going to have to figure something out, you can’t not have the scan and we can’t get a different date’

DH is currently in hospital and will be for the next week at least (had a mini stroke) my mum was due to have DD but has had to cancel, I have no one else to take her and local childcare options are slim to none (and need more notice than I can give)

AIBU to wonder how on earth there is no wiggle room for such situations re taking a child into a scan, or to not quite believe there aren’t appts held back for emergencies, I had to go to maternity triage a couple of months ago and had a scan performed within 20 mins, not in the formal scan rooms but an ultrasound was conducted and they could see and measure all the same shit. I’m just a bit confused at the response being ‘well you have to come for the scan so figure something out’ response, and it was said like that (the lady was quite curt)

Onto the advice, what would you do in this situation? I’m genuinely flummoxed.

Only on MN are people horrified if you introduce your child to a partner you’ve only been dating a few months, but think it’s totally fine to ask a total stranger via an app or the internet to watch your child unsupervised.

I would take my child along if I truly couldn’t find someone I knew to help.

If you really can't get anybody to look after your DC then I'd just bring them along in the pram and either leave them in the waiting room or just insist you take them into the sonography room. What can you do? Maybe someone can keep an eye on her/him in the waiting room.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. This scan can't be pushed back. Good luck, OP!

just take your child. They are won’t turn you away. Put them in front of Peppa or whatever. Of course there needs to be a blanket rule for many reasons, but the presence of your child doesn’t prevent them physically scanning so they’ll have to let it slide.

I find it hard to believe that its not possible to hire a professional sitter.

As a lone parent of dc with additional needs in a rural area and no family at all, I never had any difficulty with Sitters etc...

I also think just take your child. If anyone objects suggest a manager comes down to keep an eye for 15 minutes. A far more productive way to use their time than writing plans for rainbow crossings or introducing pronouns on name badges. Alternatively one of the receptionists on the main desk could keep an eye instead chatting to the person next to her rather than working.

I've been a receptionist (non NHS) and under no circumstances would I keep an eye on anybodies child. Ridiculous suggestion.

Just imagining the response from one of our band 8s if you asked them to 'pop down and babysit a patients child!' 😆😆

Take her in a pushchair and say you had no choice, I’ve seen mums with their baby’s in pushchairs getting a scan. The rule is probably to stop people bringing their children who run around and mess with stuff etc which obviously isn’t acceptable so better to have a blanket ban.

Stop telling her to take the kid.

100% my trust will turn you away.

I agree I think they are being very inflexible. Considering your circumstances I would turn up with your child. I wouldn't want to be leaving her with someone I didn't know. Not sure when this rule came in as when I went to scans except for covid, numerous people brought other children.

Are there any friends/neighbours that you maybe aren't as close to that you could try asking? This is the kind of thing I would absolutely help out an acquaintance with if I could. Even just to sit in the waiting room with dc while you are actually scanned.

I'm sorry you've had such a rubbish time when you should be able to focus on your new baby coming. I hope you manage to sort something out.

Jfc - ask a receptionist to provide childcare for an 18 month old?!? Yes. I'm sure they've got nothing better to do and should leave the queue just standing there whilst they run around after a toddler for hours.

Seriously. No wonder the nhs are struggling. And it's nothing to do with the doctors and nurses. What have we had so far on this this thread?

• op blaming nhs for her childcare issues
• people suggesting nhs staff should look after their well child
• people, many people, suggesting ignore the rules (which must surely be there for other people only) and do what you like
• people suggesting you bully the staff until they give in

It is NONSENSE to say 'I have no childcare' . Utter nonsense. You could say 'I'm not comfortable with babysitters' or 'I can't afford babysitters' or 'I have no friends' or 'dh has no friends either' or 'I have no neighbours' , but like another poster wrote, unless you live on top of a mountain,in the Uk there are options, you're just choosing not to use them.

@MichelleScarn at least it would be constructive use of their time.

Why can't kids go in? If it's because of covid then that's ridiculous. Sick of people using that as an excuse.

OP I'm sorry this sounds so stressful. There's an app called bubble whidh is a babysitter app you could try that?

The problem with all these suggestions of asking nurses or health workers or receptionists to care for a child - what would happen if the child sustained an injury or bruise while she was in the care of these random people. Where is the oversight for them if OP is unhappy with something?

In a previous role .. we accommodated a lady who had a toddler fast asleep in a pushchair .. for a scan
2 of us in the room plus the lady and none of us noticed the toddler wake up and stick his hand in an open sharps box attached to the phlebotomy trolley

Luckily for all no harm done but that incident changed so many policies and guidelines re height , closure devices and children accommodated

There are so many interesting items around , stairs , fire extinguishers etc .. it would be an absolute last resort for me to do it again

I also think just take your child. If anyone objects suggest a manager comes down to keep an eye for 15 minutes.

Good grief. Absolutely clueless. The entitlement on this thread is unreal.

What?! I don’t know what planet you are but no, they won’t. My DH is a consultant and if he ordered a scan before major surgery and a receptionist or sonographer denied it because of a toddler in a buggy then it would be a serious breach of care to the patient and they would be in trouble to be honest. Don’t be silly.

local childcare options are slim to none (and need more notice than I can give)

Then look wider and use a non-local option.

You're booked in for a medical procedure and no children are allowed. It's not their job to organise your life for you.

If what the NHS is offering isn't good enough you could always go private and pay for your csection and pre and post care. I'm pretty sure private units will afford you much greater flexibility.

Are you always such a cow or is it just to people online who are going through a tough time?

I guarantee if it was a colleague chatting to you about this your response wouldn’t be “it’s not their job to organise your life for you’, anyway.

So many posters on here talk the biggest load of shite.

I hope next time you can’t make it into work due to childcare falling through/a sick child/a family emergency, your boss turns around to you and says “it’s not my job to organise your life” and tells you no. That’ll be a laugh.

Oh for goodness sake @bellac11 stop making excuses. The parent would sign an appropriate clause to say she accepted others were in loco parents and delegated reasonable responsibility to them.

And in any event every member of the public is treated as though they have the brain of an amoeba and is completely incompetent and irrelevant once they set foot into a hospital.

@BirdyWoof this thread is about as ugly as ugly can get.

@GrinAndVomit

So you don't know any other adults in your locality?

Can your in-laws not help? You haven’t mentioned them.

I can remember being left with the vicar when my mum had an awful mental breakdown when I was about eight and had to be carted off to a psychiatric unit and my dad was stuck at work ! This was 50 years ago though, not sure it would happen now !