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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To try and get my awful colleague sacked

235 replies

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:21

Some background is that I returned from maternity leave in October and my reduced days (went to 4 days) meant that my maternity cover has remained in the business in a slightly senior role to accommodate my reduced hours and so she has retained some of the admin parts of my role. She was part of the team and was given the ML cover in what I believe was an error of judgement from management. She got it after the person given it went on long term sick leave a week after I left. She was hated at the time by the team. She now has no line management responsibilities and I think misses the control.

She is still hated by the team. She is a micromanager, rude, disrespectful and generally, a jobs worth that tells on people like the teachers pet at school. She isn’t well liked around the rest of the business and people often comment on their displeasure of interacting with her. She will do things to make things harder for my team who are all great, hard working and lovely people. I cannot understand why! They really tolerate her BS most of the time. She will get involved in things that don’t fall under her job just to be a cow and ruin something for someone else. She usually gets nothing but support but she is pushing people to the point of leaving and getting sick of it.

Two of my team left during my ML time because they couldn’t stand her as their manager.

Things she has done recently that makes me think she is an arsehole are as follows :

sent round the company policy about not using the company printers for colour when a team member (worked at the company 10 years, always lovely person) printed out 5 sheets of A4 paper in colour for a charity function as her own printer had shut down whilst printing those last 5 pages. I had given the ok to do this. She knew this and still complained about it.

tells tales to me if my team are 2 minutes late getting to work. I don’t want this level of observation. it’s weird and unneeded.

insists on working in freezing cold temperatures and often sets this to her preference despite it being uncomfortable for the rest of the team who sit in hats and gloves to accommodate

has thrown away birthday cakes brought in by the team members if they’ve haven’t accommodated for her specific tastes (not allergies, just cake preferences)

I have made some adjustments to work shifts to create better work life balance for the team which has been well received by the team and she has painstakingly reviewed our company policy and flagged why I can’t or shouldn’t have done this despite knowing the team really would benefit. it’s a grey area and at managers discretion as long as it benefits the team with no detriment to the business. which it doesn’t.

Checks up on my own work and that of others. We are all very capable, intelligent people and she takes great pleasure in pointing out of anything looks out of the ordinary which normally back fires as there is a reason for it. It’s just embarrassing that my team or I feel we then need to explain or justify to her (we don’t)

AIBU to think that getting this person out of business is the only reasonable thing to do. Any advice? I’m half joking really. I appreciate times are hard at the moment so don’t like the idea of someone losing their job but she is just awful. How do you deal with people like this? She has been at the company 5 years now and has been awful the entire time. Makes most of us dread working and each interaction leaves a sour taste for days. Always the busiest person, always the person who doesn’t need to muck in. Always a tell tale. Always got an eye over her shoulder despite us being a really nice and supportive team. I mean, aside from this post but it’s past the point of thinking she will see the light.

OP posts:
crisscrosscringle · 14/01/2023 08:26

To be honest, you don't sound great either.

5 years service, seemingly no management concerns about her performance. It's not a crime to be a jobsworth. How do yo you propose getting her sacked exactly?

newnamethanks · 14/01/2023 08:27

So you've got a Manager with a big M. Many people have. She is BU. So are you. She's been there for 5 years? Any chance you might be over reacting?

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 14/01/2023 08:28

You both don't sound great in honesty.

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:29

crisscrosscringle · 14/01/2023 08:26

To be honest, you don't sound great either.

5 years service, seemingly no management concerns about her performance. It's not a crime to be a jobsworth. How do yo you propose getting her sacked exactly?

She’s had lots of times she’s been pulled up and nearly sacked due to behaviour. She doesn’t report to me anymore which was a stipulation of me returning after ML but I didn’t want to include that info exactly for fear of exposing. The above is a slither of the stuff that has happened

OP posts:
Wasywasydoodah · 14/01/2023 08:30

She sounds bad. You could try a greivance, I suppose? List everything you’ve told us? Will be horrible though…

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:31

Open to feedback on this, what makes me not sound great exactly? For wanting a respectful and relaxed workplace for my team?

OP posts:
JuneOsborne · 14/01/2023 08:32

The best thing to do is get yourself out. I always think if an employer is willing to promote or protect awful people it's not a good place to work.

Concentrate on you. If you're not willing to leave, how can you improve your lot?

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:33

Wasywasydoodah · 14/01/2023 08:30

She sounds bad. You could try a greivance, I suppose? List everything you’ve told us? Will be horrible though…

This is what I thought but it’s all just awful. My team are great, she is a pain in the butt. I really want to come in, support my team and do a good job. I hate to think of my work days tied up in all this

OP posts:
DrManhattan · 14/01/2023 08:33

Look for another job

drpet49 · 14/01/2023 08:33

YANBU- she sounds like an arsehole

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:34

JuneOsborne · 14/01/2023 08:32

The best thing to do is get yourself out. I always think if an employer is willing to promote or protect awful people it's not a good place to work.

Concentrate on you. If you're not willing to leave, how can you improve your lot?

I have been thinking this exact thing, exactly as you’ve put it

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 14/01/2023 08:39

TBH, you do come across as a playground bully. You’ve got the rest of your team onside, even during maternity leave. They’re telling tales about her to you!
A truly professional manager would sit down with this person, explain their concerns and try to solve them. Instead, you’ve chosen to ask strangers how to get rid of someone you clearly don’t like, used derogatory misogynistic language about her and show no acceptance that her way may well be different to yours, but be just as valid.
For example, she picks up on time keeping, you don’t. Both of you are right.
She likes a cooler working environment, you don’t (I really don’t believe your claim that staff sit in hats and gloves all day!). She may well be menopausal.
She sent a note round about personal use of the photocopier, you don’t agree. In some offices, personal use of resources would really be frowned on.

If you consider yourself to be a great manager / team player, then use the appropriate systems to address the concerns you have. Be professional, in other words.

Anon778833 · 14/01/2023 08:39

I thought you were going to describe someone who tells lies etc.

There are always going to be irritating people at work unfortunately. I remember being upset because a jobsworth was whispering to the manager on my first day about a tiny mistake I made. However, in no time the manager was pleased with how I was performing.

You really can't conspire to get someone sacked because they're a PITA. I actually think that would be a wicked thing to do, especially in the current climate.

Michiru · 14/01/2023 08:39

Playing devil's advocate here, but could she simply be frustrated by the number of times that company policy is seemingly being ignored? Is she adhering at all times (and possibly being pulled up on mistakes) but seeing others getting away with flouting policy over and over again?

Examples you have given:
-being late. Maybe it's just what I do, but never acceptable in my job without a decent reason.
-using company resources for non-work related things. Depending on where you work, it's a (culturally acceptable) form of stealing from your employer.
-changes to work patterns - do they affect her at all? If it's a grey area, does it work to some people's detriment rather than helping everyone?

The temperature thing is annoying, but there are only so many clothes you can take off, as opposed to the number of layers you can wear.
The cake thing - how long was the cake out for? Was it really because she didn't like the flavour (in which case, did she feel excluded) or was it because after 3-4 days of cake out it becomes a hazard?

I'm purely trying to see the other side. Everyone has a reason for doing things they do, might be worth finding out what makes her tick.

Nimbostratus100 · 14/01/2023 08:40

You sound really difficult - none of what you have listed is unusual, even if people have strong opinions about whether it is right or wrong in individual instances. Colour photocopying (forbidden most places where I have worked) bringing in unauthorised cakes ( you dont know the allergies of everyone in the building, many work places are very strict about this sort of thing) saving energy, expecting puncuality - this is all pretty normal in the work place

ANd why would anyone leave because they dont want her to manage them, when it was only a temporary arrangement for maternity leave? SOunds very unlikely that would be the only reason.

You might not like her, but there are people like this in every workplace, and sometimes more than one, It sounds to me like she may be isolated and bullied, which is worse than any of the things she is being accused of

custardbear · 14/01/2023 08:40

Could you get a manager or HR to do some mediation? Does her line manager know what she's like? When you were her line manager did you have those Conversations?
You could see if a dignity issue fits the bill if you have this policy at work? Personally I'd feel undermined if she's trying to tell you how to do your management so you could try there.
In the first instance I'd speak to my own line manager about her behaviours and ask what can be done to make her aware of her actions

CuntyChopss · 14/01/2023 08:40

She doesn’t report to me anymore
So she reported to you prior to ML? And you refused to line manage her when you returned? Yeah, you don’t sound like an effective manager.

freyamay74 · 14/01/2023 08:41

Honestly, if someone is a complete arse wipe and their managers won't deal with it, the best thing is to find another job. You've admitted she's not going to change after 5 years. Not will senior managements tolerance of her. Either she's incredibly valuable to them in some way, or she isn't but they're scared of confronting the issue and going down a disciplinary route because she'll kick up merry hell and they aren't confident they'll win against her.

So either of those two reasons show piss poor management from the top. Why stay in a company like that?

Your main reason for staying seems to be you have a nice team. There are nice colleagues in other places!

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:43

CuntyChopss · 14/01/2023 08:40

She doesn’t report to me anymore
So she reported to you prior to ML? And you refused to line manage her when you returned? Yeah, you don’t sound like an effective manager.

You can’t effectively manage someone’s natural mean nature out of them. I tried it from lots of different angles

OP posts:
freyamay74 · 14/01/2023 08:44

Ps my post is assuming that everything you say is true and that she's a genuinely very difficult nit picking person. But of course we've only heard your side. Tbh things like regular lateness to work really aren't ok. It's a mistake to think having a relaxed and friendly workplace means people can take the piss

bonzaitree · 14/01/2023 08:44

Hm it’s pretty hard to get rid of a 5 year employee- they have employment rights after all!

is she ND? Sticking to the rules and policies absolutely by the book with no exceptions for me says ND, but I could be wrong.

realistically every work place has someone like this so I don’t think moving would do you any good whatsoever!

Badgirlriri · 14/01/2023 08:44

YANBU. I don’t get what these type of people gain from acting like this? Ugh

Badgirlriri · 14/01/2023 08:45

Should pity her really. Obviously she doesn’t have a happy life to want to make others miserable.

MaverickGooseGoose · 14/01/2023 08:45

You come across as a child. Your examples are all petty. Time to look for something else.

Mouthfulofquiz · 14/01/2023 08:46

My mat cover turned out to be like this. You can’t underestimate the disruption of this kind of micromanaging, difficult type of person. My organisation reached a point where hours were lost each week dealing with the upset this person caused at all levels so they were moved on. If your management team are on board then it can be done. Get some employment law advice.