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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To try and get my awful colleague sacked

235 replies

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:21

Some background is that I returned from maternity leave in October and my reduced days (went to 4 days) meant that my maternity cover has remained in the business in a slightly senior role to accommodate my reduced hours and so she has retained some of the admin parts of my role. She was part of the team and was given the ML cover in what I believe was an error of judgement from management. She got it after the person given it went on long term sick leave a week after I left. She was hated at the time by the team. She now has no line management responsibilities and I think misses the control.

She is still hated by the team. She is a micromanager, rude, disrespectful and generally, a jobs worth that tells on people like the teachers pet at school. She isn’t well liked around the rest of the business and people often comment on their displeasure of interacting with her. She will do things to make things harder for my team who are all great, hard working and lovely people. I cannot understand why! They really tolerate her BS most of the time. She will get involved in things that don’t fall under her job just to be a cow and ruin something for someone else. She usually gets nothing but support but she is pushing people to the point of leaving and getting sick of it.

Two of my team left during my ML time because they couldn’t stand her as their manager.

Things she has done recently that makes me think she is an arsehole are as follows :

sent round the company policy about not using the company printers for colour when a team member (worked at the company 10 years, always lovely person) printed out 5 sheets of A4 paper in colour for a charity function as her own printer had shut down whilst printing those last 5 pages. I had given the ok to do this. She knew this and still complained about it.

tells tales to me if my team are 2 minutes late getting to work. I don’t want this level of observation. it’s weird and unneeded.

insists on working in freezing cold temperatures and often sets this to her preference despite it being uncomfortable for the rest of the team who sit in hats and gloves to accommodate

has thrown away birthday cakes brought in by the team members if they’ve haven’t accommodated for her specific tastes (not allergies, just cake preferences)

I have made some adjustments to work shifts to create better work life balance for the team which has been well received by the team and she has painstakingly reviewed our company policy and flagged why I can’t or shouldn’t have done this despite knowing the team really would benefit. it’s a grey area and at managers discretion as long as it benefits the team with no detriment to the business. which it doesn’t.

Checks up on my own work and that of others. We are all very capable, intelligent people and she takes great pleasure in pointing out of anything looks out of the ordinary which normally back fires as there is a reason for it. It’s just embarrassing that my team or I feel we then need to explain or justify to her (we don’t)

AIBU to think that getting this person out of business is the only reasonable thing to do. Any advice? I’m half joking really. I appreciate times are hard at the moment so don’t like the idea of someone losing their job but she is just awful. How do you deal with people like this? She has been at the company 5 years now and has been awful the entire time. Makes most of us dread working and each interaction leaves a sour taste for days. Always the busiest person, always the person who doesn’t need to muck in. Always a tell tale. Always got an eye over her shoulder despite us being a really nice and supportive team. I mean, aside from this post but it’s past the point of thinking she will see the light.

OP posts:
StephanieSuperpowers · 14/01/2023 09:25

How did you have time to monitor your colleagues if you were doing your work, Brenda?

Was throwing out the cake part of your performance goals, Brenda?

Is your manager aware that you spend your day compliling these reports, Brenda?

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 14/01/2023 09:26

Threads like these really make me appreciate my wonderful colleagues and LM. And our birthday cakes and colour printing.

Nothing constructive to add.

CovertImage · 14/01/2023 09:27

She is still hated by the team........She usually gets nothing but support

One of these things is not like the other.

You sound like a bunch of obnoxious mean girls

OhhhhhhhhBiscuits · 14/01/2023 09:27

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 14/01/2023 09:26

Threads like these really make me appreciate my wonderful colleagues and LM. And our birthday cakes and colour printing.

Nothing constructive to add.

Same!

I'm glad I don't work with or for some of the miserable fuckers on here.

AbreathofFrenchair · 14/01/2023 09:27

Soontobe60 · 14/01/2023 09:00

Was it a kids party? Who has cake and candles and sings happy birthday in the workplace?

We do.

But then I work in a nursery and we do it for all the children and staff on their birthdays.

midsomermurderess · 14/01/2023 09:28

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Lalliella · 14/01/2023 09:30

Where is her manager and why aren’t they tackling any of these things with her? She needs to be told that it’s unacceptable to throw other people’s cakes away, that the office temperature is set at a level that suits the majority of people, that she shouldn’t be spending time interfering with how a manager runs her team, and that she shouldn’t be wasting time checking work when it’s not her role. Why is no-one doing this?

Happin · 14/01/2023 09:30

She sounds awful, and it sounds like there's a few people like her commenting on this thread 🤣

tenbob · 14/01/2023 09:31

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 14/01/2023 09:26

Threads like these really make me appreciate my wonderful colleagues and LM. And our birthday cakes and colour printing.

Nothing constructive to add.

Same!

I bring in treats, but I also get cakes and happy birthday singing, and often a card

And it’s office law that the cake and card must be treated like an official company secret to be hidden from the receiver at ALL costs, even though it’s blatantly obvious that people are going from desk to desk with an envelope, and there is a big cake box on the office fridge

But despite seeing all this, the receiver must act totally surprised when they get to see the cake 😂

GivenchyDahhling · 14/01/2023 09:31

I was generally on your side from the OP, although some of what you listed is very petty (from your side). However, based on your snippy responses to posters disagreeing with you, I’m not sure you’re the nice, laid-back, great manager and colleague you think you are.

freyamay74 · 14/01/2023 09:31

@SnoozyLucy7 if a company has a flexible approach and a policy that allows people to come in a 9, 9.15 or whenever, as long as they get the work done, then it's fine!

However, not all companies do, and it can be for quite valid reasons; eg: if the period between 9 - 9:30 is particularly busy with calls or other actions, and the policy is that employees start at 9, it's quite understandable that people would be pissed off at someone regularly rocking up late. It would put more workload onto others at a busy point in the day.

It's all about context. The OP admits that the issue is workers arriving 'late.' Presumably if the company allowed a flexi start time, they wouldn't be 'late.'

jeaux90 · 14/01/2023 09:33

I appreciate how annoying it's must be to work with someone like this but....

I am a senior manager, our job is to manage people, all of them. You managed this person and didn't do anything about it. Including sometimes we have to manage difficult situations including managing some out of the business.

You didn't do that. Why?

LakieLady · 14/01/2023 09:34

AlisonDonut · 14/01/2023 08:50

In every instance I'd say 'you manage your team Margaret, and I'll manage mine.'

Exactly.

She's not your manager, OP, and she doesn't manage your team.

Where I work, the way to deal with this would be by your line manager speaking to her line manager, and if they didn't deal with it effectively, to your next in line. Someone who's not my manager checking up on my work would massively piss me off. It's outside the remit of her role.

Have you spoken to your manager about, and do they manage her, as well?

Mumofoneson5 · 14/01/2023 09:34

I don’t know why people are being so harsh. It’s incredibly uncomfortable to be in a team when someone is like this! 2 mins late? It happens and it’s none of her business. Using a colour printer? Again, none of her business!

Puts the whole team on edgy. I’d leave!

SuperHandss · 14/01/2023 09:35

This all sounds petty from both sides. Have you had a sit down meeting with her to ask why she’s chucked away possessions of others and her performance? Is her role defined? The lack of management is the problem.

It sounds like you all have too much time on your hands.

Stunningscreamer · 14/01/2023 09:36

Soontobe60 · 14/01/2023 08:57

‘Natural mean nature’? When has sticking to the rules in the workplace been ‘mean’?

There's a difference between sticking to the rules in the workplace and spying on your colleagues to report them for minor infringements. It's none of her business what people do in the office that don't impact on her. She's not the manager, OP is, so she shouldn't be telling tales. She doesn't know if OP has cut some slack for people to come in moderately late and then work later or in their lunch hour for childcare reasons or elderly parents. Those kinds of accommodations lead to better work environments and a happier work force.

The goodwill gained from, for instance, allowing the colour printing, would far exceed the cost, in terms of people being willing to work later to meet deadlines etc.

The cake business and the cold office are just ridiculous. Is she sitting there in a thin blouse and skirt OP or is she wearing a sweater and asking for the heating to be turned down. In my experience, people who like to control the environment to the detriment of others are almost always difficult and attention seeking and end up trying to get others into trouble.

SuperHandss · 14/01/2023 09:36

Mumofoneson5 · 14/01/2023 09:34

I don’t know why people are being so harsh. It’s incredibly uncomfortable to be in a team when someone is like this! 2 mins late? It happens and it’s none of her business. Using a colour printer? Again, none of her business!

Puts the whole team on edgy. I’d leave!

I agree and her manager should tell her she doesn’t need to report lateness nor does she have the authority to demand how the printer is used. She needs to know what her job is.

KettrickenSmiled · 14/01/2023 09:38

AIBU to think that getting this person out of business is the only reasonable thing to do. Any advice?

Yes. Stop whinging & start documenting.

You & your team seem to have sat back & allowed this woman to steamroller you. Yet not once have you described an interaction when you have pushed back. She gets away with her nitpicking & cake-throwing because you allow her to. Next time she asks you to explain or justify, why don't you try saying "no"?

DirectionToPerfection · 14/01/2023 09:40

Climbles · 14/01/2023 08:55

Not sure why the OP is getting such a hard time here. Petty people always on the look out for an opportunity to be ‘right’ are a pain in the ass. The atmosphere at work makes such a huge difference to the enjoyment of your job and productivity. She obviously enjoys confrontation and felling superior.
Id look for somewhere else to work.

Exactly this. Some of these replies are absolutely batshit, and clearly come from people who enjoy sticking the boot in and feeling superior themselves.

Would you consider leaving OP? It's that or start pulling her up on her behaviour.

"It's the middle of winter, it's cold, and we have a duty of care to staff. The heating is staying on."

"Where are you going with that cake? It's not finished yet."

And a PP's suggestion "You manage your team and I'll manage mine."

Document all these interactions in case she tries to use them against you.

BHRK · 14/01/2023 09:40

She sounds horrendous

kingtamponthefurred · 14/01/2023 09:40

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:31

Open to feedback on this, what makes me not sound great exactly? For wanting a respectful and relaxed workplace for my team?

Referring to her as a cow and an arsehole is rude and childish.

Stunningscreamer · 14/01/2023 09:41

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I think I love you midsomermurderess.

LlynTegid · 14/01/2023 09:41

If having a conversation with her does not achieve anything, then I think you should consider invoking formal HR processes. On a couple of specifics:

I would check what the temperatures actually are- there are legal minimums certainly in offices. Health and safety breaches are grounds for sacking that could stand up.

Talking repeatedly about other's timekeeping could be seen in extremis as an indication of not maintaining confidentiality. I abhor lateness myself but there could be someone who is being late because of something which is no business of yours at all.

I doubt however whether you can get her sacked, much as it seems you have a manager who is at the politest in the wrong job.

Suedomin · 14/01/2023 09:42

She sounds terrible and I don't understand people saying OP sounds terrible I know who I would prefer to work for. Managers who make life difficult for workers never get the best out of them.
Also micromanaging is a form of bullying.

freyamay74 · 14/01/2023 09:42

One last time OP: why did you not manage this woman in the way you seem to want her managed when you had the chance?
You stipulated that you would only return after your ML if you didn't have to manage her!

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