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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To try and get my awful colleague sacked

235 replies

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:21

Some background is that I returned from maternity leave in October and my reduced days (went to 4 days) meant that my maternity cover has remained in the business in a slightly senior role to accommodate my reduced hours and so she has retained some of the admin parts of my role. She was part of the team and was given the ML cover in what I believe was an error of judgement from management. She got it after the person given it went on long term sick leave a week after I left. She was hated at the time by the team. She now has no line management responsibilities and I think misses the control.

She is still hated by the team. She is a micromanager, rude, disrespectful and generally, a jobs worth that tells on people like the teachers pet at school. She isn’t well liked around the rest of the business and people often comment on their displeasure of interacting with her. She will do things to make things harder for my team who are all great, hard working and lovely people. I cannot understand why! They really tolerate her BS most of the time. She will get involved in things that don’t fall under her job just to be a cow and ruin something for someone else. She usually gets nothing but support but she is pushing people to the point of leaving and getting sick of it.

Two of my team left during my ML time because they couldn’t stand her as their manager.

Things she has done recently that makes me think she is an arsehole are as follows :

sent round the company policy about not using the company printers for colour when a team member (worked at the company 10 years, always lovely person) printed out 5 sheets of A4 paper in colour for a charity function as her own printer had shut down whilst printing those last 5 pages. I had given the ok to do this. She knew this and still complained about it.

tells tales to me if my team are 2 minutes late getting to work. I don’t want this level of observation. it’s weird and unneeded.

insists on working in freezing cold temperatures and often sets this to her preference despite it being uncomfortable for the rest of the team who sit in hats and gloves to accommodate

has thrown away birthday cakes brought in by the team members if they’ve haven’t accommodated for her specific tastes (not allergies, just cake preferences)

I have made some adjustments to work shifts to create better work life balance for the team which has been well received by the team and she has painstakingly reviewed our company policy and flagged why I can’t or shouldn’t have done this despite knowing the team really would benefit. it’s a grey area and at managers discretion as long as it benefits the team with no detriment to the business. which it doesn’t.

Checks up on my own work and that of others. We are all very capable, intelligent people and she takes great pleasure in pointing out of anything looks out of the ordinary which normally back fires as there is a reason for it. It’s just embarrassing that my team or I feel we then need to explain or justify to her (we don’t)

AIBU to think that getting this person out of business is the only reasonable thing to do. Any advice? I’m half joking really. I appreciate times are hard at the moment so don’t like the idea of someone losing their job but she is just awful. How do you deal with people like this? She has been at the company 5 years now and has been awful the entire time. Makes most of us dread working and each interaction leaves a sour taste for days. Always the busiest person, always the person who doesn’t need to muck in. Always a tell tale. Always got an eye over her shoulder despite us being a really nice and supportive team. I mean, aside from this post but it’s past the point of thinking she will see the light.

OP posts:
WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:49

Mouthfulofquiz · 14/01/2023 08:46

My mat cover turned out to be like this. You can’t underestimate the disruption of this kind of micromanaging, difficult type of person. My organisation reached a point where hours were lost each week dealing with the upset this person caused at all levels so they were moved on. If your management team are on board then it can be done. Get some employment law advice.

It’s this. I haven’t mentioned some of the truly challenging things because it would identify but this is it in a nut shell. Comforting to see it’s understood by some too

OP posts:
WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:50

MaverickGooseGoose · 14/01/2023 08:45

You come across as a child. Your examples are all petty. Time to look for something else.

Gemma, is that you?!

OP posts:
AlisonDonut · 14/01/2023 08:50

In every instance I'd say 'you manage your team Margaret, and I'll manage mine.'

Lordofthebutterfloofs · 14/01/2023 08:51

You cannot control what she does, only what you do and your reaction to her behaviour.

Trying to get her sacked would backfire on you. Pretty much guaranteed.

When she brings you petty grievances just say 'thanks for letting me know' if she demands you tell her what your doing about it, tell her that I'm afraid it's confidential and she will just have to trust you.

And so on.....

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 14/01/2023 08:52

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:29

She’s had lots of times she’s been pulled up and nearly sacked due to behaviour. She doesn’t report to me anymore which was a stipulation of me returning after ML but I didn’t want to include that info exactly for fear of exposing. The above is a slither of the stuff that has happened

She’s been ‘nearly sacked’ lots of times?
Presumably the company has some sort of escalation policy in place for someone who has been nearly sacked lots of times?

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:53

For those asking about the cake, it was thrown 45 minutes after we’d sung happy birthday and blown out candles.

OP posts:
Addicted2Kale · 14/01/2023 08:55

I've worked with and under real nasty pieces of work over the years. In comparison, the examples you gave of this woman being "awful" were pretty petty. There must be worse things she has done, that you didn't highlight...?

Nimbostratus100 · 14/01/2023 08:55

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:53

For those asking about the cake, it was thrown 45 minutes after we’d sung happy birthday and blown out candles.

Blowing out candles on a cake would mean it could not be eaten and shared in a work place, definitely

Climbles · 14/01/2023 08:55

Not sure why the OP is getting such a hard time here. Petty people always on the look out for an opportunity to be ‘right’ are a pain in the ass. The atmosphere at work makes such a huge difference to the enjoyment of your job and productivity. She obviously enjoys confrontation and felling superior.
Id look for somewhere else to work.

Climbles · 14/01/2023 08:56

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:53

For those asking about the cake, it was thrown 45 minutes after we’d sung happy birthday and blown out candles.

What reason did she give?

Coffeetableposhbooks · 14/01/2023 08:57

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:43

You can’t effectively manage someone’s natural mean nature out of them. I tried it from lots of different angles

Quite. Case in point.

Soontobe60 · 14/01/2023 08:57

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:43

You can’t effectively manage someone’s natural mean nature out of them. I tried it from lots of different angles

‘Natural mean nature’? When has sticking to the rules in the workplace been ‘mean’?

MarmiteCoriander · 14/01/2023 08:58

If you returned to your former 5 days a week- would be moved back to whichever team/department she was in before you went on ML?

welshpolarbear · 14/01/2023 09:00

I don't know why you're getting a hard time Op. Its horrible working with someone like this and every incident just builds and builds the tension.

I'm not sure what to suggest but just wanted to give you some support.

I'd start by keeping a notebook or online a record of all the incidents, one or two incidents may come across as petty (they're not) but having a full record could help in the long run.

Mehmeh22 · 14/01/2023 09:00

My mat cover was the work of the devil. I've never met someone so vindictive. Thankfully she left (after pissing off every department) when her demands were not met. She still caused me problems after too. If management are not willing to support you, I'd look for a new job. Or just grey rock her. That reaaaaaaly gets to them lol

Soontobe60 · 14/01/2023 09:00

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:53

For those asking about the cake, it was thrown 45 minutes after we’d sung happy birthday and blown out candles.

Was it a kids party? Who has cake and candles and sings happy birthday in the workplace?

atteatimeeverybodyagrees · 14/01/2023 09:01

Sorry I am a bit confused. What is the team structure. Are you the team manager? Who is she to the team?

atteatimeeverybodyagrees · 14/01/2023 09:01

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:53

For those asking about the cake, it was thrown 45 minutes after we’d sung happy birthday and blown out candles.

What kind of work place is this?

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 09:02

Soontobe60 · 14/01/2023 09:00

Was it a kids party? Who has cake and candles and sings happy birthday in the workplace?

We like each other and it’s a fun little tradition that cheers us all up with a slice of cake. Something simple and kind to show we think of each other really

OP posts:
Catspyjamas17 · 14/01/2023 09:02

It seems like by stipulating that you didn't want her to be reporting to you when you returned from mat leave, you have missed a trick in terms of managing her behaviour and managing her out. If she was reporting to you then surely it would be easier to give negative feedback and appraisals, verbal snd written warnings and follow the process of getting rid of her?

KimberleyClark · 14/01/2023 09:05

Lighting candles could well be against the company’s health and safety policy.

Soontobe60 · 14/01/2023 09:05

Climbles · 14/01/2023 08:55

Not sure why the OP is getting such a hard time here. Petty people always on the look out for an opportunity to be ‘right’ are a pain in the ass. The atmosphere at work makes such a huge difference to the enjoyment of your job and productivity. She obviously enjoys confrontation and felling superior.
Id look for somewhere else to work.

My DH might be considered by some of his colleagues to be ‘petty’ because he has to work according to the rules. So is never late, wouldn’t dream of personal use of office resources and would comment to people if they did. It’s not because he wants to be ‘right’, it’s because he can’t comprehend that others might ‘break the rules’. It’s how his brain works. He becomes very anxious and confused when someone rocks up 5 minutes late every day without a good reason. It absolutely drives him bonkers.
He’s not petty, he’s ND. As are many other people in the workplace. But hey, just call them petty and laugh at their issues.

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 09:06

KimberleyClark · 14/01/2023 09:05

Lighting candles could well be against the company’s health and safety policy.

Kim, you won’t be invited so don’t worry. Christ alive some of these comments 😂

I can now see there are lots of people like this working all across the place 👀

OP posts:
tenbob · 14/01/2023 09:06

Soontobe60 · 14/01/2023 09:00

Was it a kids party? Who has cake and candles and sings happy birthday in the workplace?

Wait, who DOESN’T?!

Ive worked in various different offices from PLC head offices to trading floors to start ups, and have always seen people getting a cake and happy birthday sung (not candles at the PLC because the fire alarms were nuts sensitive)

Soontobe60 · 14/01/2023 09:07

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 09:02

We like each other and it’s a fun little tradition that cheers us all up with a slice of cake. Something simple and kind to show we think of each other really

It’s grim. Who wants to eat cake that someone else has blown all over?
I wouldn’t have thrown it away, but I certainly wouldn’t eat it.

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