To have DH's location visible at all times?

[Algor1thm]

This should really be AWBU because it's the same for both of us. We've had location sharing on between us 24/7 for a couple of years now. I can always see where DH is and vice versa. It's hugely helpful and we turned it on for very practical reasons. No more messaging each other where are you, having to explain that we're stuck in traffic, worrying about each other if we're running late etc. It's certainly not to 'check up on each other', there has never been a hint of suspicion of infidelity in the relationship and we both trust each other fully. Days go by without me checking his location, but it's very handy to have there when we need it.

We're both happy with the arrangement, but I said to a friend the other day that I'd just quickly check whether DH was home yet and looked at my phone, and she reacted like what I was doing was really awful. She was gobsmacked and sort of acted like it was a controlling/abusive thing (despite it being both ways). I've mentioned it to several friends since and I've had very mixed reactions. Some couples do the same, some thought it was very odd.

AWBU? Is this a weird invasion of each other's privacy?

Because we’ve been messaging and she said she’s coming home and I can see her wee avatar moving on the map heading home?

😆

even simple things like can I leave the dog in the garden if he won’t come in and I’m heading out. I can quickly see how far away my wife is and make a judgement call .

Bollocks cos she could get stuck in a ditch, decide to go to Tesco, divert for something else in the next 10 mins. Honestly using a tracking service to help with decision making has got to be up there with the most wtf reasons for tracking. Just put the dog in the house.

I think if my dad did that would creep me out massively.

If I haven't told people where I am it is because I want to go there alone.

I've got one at University and honestly for the sake of my sanity I'd really rather not know 😆

I didn't contradict myself. In this specific example I had forgotten that we had a food shop delivery coming and got the reminder, and I was trying to establish whether DH was home yet to decide whether I needed to leave my friend right then or could stay longer. So I used the app. If I had phoned to ask he would have said err could you not have just checked my location? This is the sort of day to day usage that saves numerous texts and phonecalls asking where are you. We both appreciate the convenience and from both ends - mostly not having to answer texts/calls just to say yes I'm home or no I'm not I'm still at the shops. And having the information immediately, not having to wait for someone to reply and getting frustrated when they aren't answering and you can't make a decision as in the example above.

On occasion yes.

But your repo as indicates impatience at be questioned. Reasonable questions too.

Very odd on a chat forum.

So you text when leaving work (fair enough) but then have you also have your location on too, although you implied earlier it was to avoid unnecessary messaging, which is now not the case.

So constant texts and constant tracking!

Ok then …

Well, we all make quick judgement calls in every day life, don’t we? FFS. 😆

If you consent, fine. I couldn't think of anything worse as I'm very private. DH and I would never check anyway. We just message to ask if we need it.

My friend told me the other day she'd installed a camera in the living area of her flat and had sent her other friend the link & would send it to me as well, so we could 'check she is ok' or even talk to her through it. She thought it a fabulous idea and great for her sense of security (she lives alone) that we could just log in and see what she's up to. I'm like... um... thanks..... and hope she forgets!

@Westernesse but checking their location only tells you where they are not what they plan on doing? How do you know they won’t turn around because they forgot something or call into a shop, bank, friend etc. In order to get a full picture you need to call a person. Imagine you made a decision based on their location but then they didn’t get home for a half an hour? I’d something goes wrong who’s fault is it?

Response and being that should say!

Cooking eggs but very interested in this thread.

Will you track your kids?

Will you be ok with it, if they say no?

We have the same, we use l360 as a family and can all see where each other is. It’s just a safety thing. But I’ve noticed our friends also think it’s weird and I too find myself justifying it . We don’t sit glued to it tracking each other but it’s useful to see when someone is getting home or where they are if not Responding on a night out.

i don’t get the angst

That's nonsense though. Just because he was there then doesn't mean he'd be there when the delivery came if he's not expecting it. He could have gone out again for any number of reasons.

Maybe I’m thinking differently because DH and I don’t have children, but he doesn’t need to know where I am….and vice versa. I don’t go anywhere that I wouldn’t want him to know about, but I just don’t want to track, or be, tracked. Having said that, we’re both into cycling and our bike computers have trackers connected to the other’s phone in case we’re out alone and have an accident. If I go for a run somewhere remote, I’ll also share my location just for the duration of the activity.

I never worry about when to make a meal because we’ll communicate plans in the morning….and phone if they’re going to change.

As for tracking teens…poor kids. I was occasionally somewhere I wasn’t supposed be as a teen, surely that’s just part of development and risk taking?

I think you’re really over thinking it…

Cos it is weird. Why do you need to know where people are all the time?

Think back a few years before this technology was available. Did we have the incessant need to know where each other location and what they were doing. Just because the technology is available doesn't mean you need to use it. This over supply of information surely is one of the catalysts to modern day 'anxiety' issues.
Mobile phones, social media, and apps certainly have their advantages but I can't help thinking that their contribution to not being able to switch off and concentrate and have undisturbed quality time with the people you are with contributes to many of societies social issues, and behaviours.
Did my Grannie need to know where her husband was 24/7,no. And she was much more relaxed without technology intrusion.
Just ask yourself how many minutes today did you manage in-between looking at or getting disturbed by your devices.

Take the swearing as indicative of incredulity.

my God. It’s to avoid continued unnecessary messaging. After the initial message we can both just monitor the situation rather than me texting while driving or phoning her at every motorway junction to give progress updates.

I have friends who do this. I personally would hate it. I've nothing to hide but it just feels a bit claustrophobic and weird to me

We both have it on and I find it useful. I mainly use it to see if he's left work (works shifts all over the place) and if I should wait up or go to sleep as I don't like to be woken soon after I go to sleep or I lie there awake.

I don't really know how often he checks my location but I like it on for when I'm out by myself running or similar in case anything happens so he can find me.

I have absolutely zero reason for him not to know where I am at any time, neither of us are controlling at all and it works for us.

We do the same. I think because we have the kids on the find my friends app we both added ourselves too. I only look at it occasionally to see if he’s left work yet.

Personally I don’t have a problem with it- we are very boring and predictable people, so we pretty much always know where each other are anyway. But I very rarely look at it. It’s also useful if I can’t find my phone!

On a different note, for a while we had the Life360 app which I think has the potential to be very stalkerish- you could see where they’ve been, how long they spent there, even how fast they were driving! Now we just have the regular find my friends app.

If a couple want to use it, and both agree, it’s not really anyone else’s concern.

How do we know anything? We don’t. Anything could happen at any time but we just have to make judgement calls and live our lives.

@Westernesse if you knew she was on the way anyway why did you need to track her.

I struggle with it as I am an adult with free will, I can choose to go anywhere on my way home, if my DH needs to know I will tell him. If he needs me to at home he will tell me. No need to track.

Yeh but we don’t need a tracking app to make them 🙄

No, you’re right, we could all survive without it. It’s a handle little extra tool and it works just fine for us.