To have DH's location visible at all times?

[Algor1thm]

This should really be AWBU because it's the same for both of us. We've had location sharing on between us 24/7 for a couple of years now. I can always see where DH is and vice versa. It's hugely helpful and we turned it on for very practical reasons. No more messaging each other where are you, having to explain that we're stuck in traffic, worrying about each other if we're running late etc. It's certainly not to 'check up on each other', there has never been a hint of suspicion of infidelity in the relationship and we both trust each other fully. Days go by without me checking his location, but it's very handy to have there when we need it.

We're both happy with the arrangement, but I said to a friend the other day that I'd just quickly check whether DH was home yet and looked at my phone, and she reacted like what I was doing was really awful. She was gobsmacked and sort of acted like it was a controlling/abusive thing (despite it being both ways). I've mentioned it to several friends since and I've had very mixed reactions. Some couples do the same, some thought it was very odd.

AWBU? Is this a weird invasion of each other's privacy?

I wasn’t. I asked why? How is that policing?!

It isn’t of course, but you just continue misrepresenting other people’s posts.

‘Stop swearing’ would be policing.

Glad to be of help.

Well, we can see what's in it for you, Yarrawonga — dinner ready when you get in.

Do I detect a hint of jealousy?

The only weird thing is that you were with a friend and interrupted that to check where your DH was. You admit you only do it for practical reasons and can go days without, so was it necessary to do it then?

Equally I summarised a range of reactions by posters, not you in particular, from which you inferred I said you were angry. Nope.

Then I apologise: I confused you for one of the posters who's said I and others who are questioning this are angry. I don't think any of us are angry, we're concerned.

Why, is he incapable of making his own?
Probably not but making your partner a cup of tea is a nice thing to do.

I don't have location sharing on with DP. It wouldn't work for us because it doesn't align with our chosen boundaries, but if DH knows I'm on my way he'll put the kettle on.
My siblings and I call/text when we're on our way over and the unspoken subtext is to put the kettle on.

It's a nice thing to do.

I wonder if the same people that share location are the same ones that have joint facebook accounts etc too?

Nope.

Nice try 😂😂

Some very bitter and insular stuff gets posted on here. Any hint at people having normal loving relationships draws the ire.

What a sad way to view that comment. People in relationships sometimes just like to do little things to make each other smile and feel loved. How insulting to insinuate PP making a coffee isn’t simply a kind gesture but an act of subservience.

The posters using it to check your mum has got home safely with the kids from school or have got to work when there has been a motorway accident, is a whole other level of anxiety

I text Dp if I travel on a long journey like getting to the airport or arriving at my mum's 2500km away.

@Yarrawonga no bitterness or jealousy here. My OH often cooks by choice....and manages to do it without checking up on me.

There are a lot of very anxious people around! Some tech feeds that anxiety instead of learning self-soothing behaviours. No wonder a lot of people are a mess these days.

Read through my posts on this thread if you want the whole story on that particular event.

Nothing to do with anyone else
If you want it, use it

I'm just boggled by how long it takes people to make a cup of coffee and how impatient their OH's must be if they can't sit and chat for a while before their meal is served in good old 1950s style.

That’s all a figment of your imagination though. Totally irrelevant to the thread.

It’s so crazy how many wild assumptions and conclusions people have leapt to on this thread. DH and I are not co-dependent or controlling of each other. We share our locations since we had the kids for the extremely dull reason that we find it useful occasionally for logistical purposes. I probably check it 2 or 3 times a week. No idea how often he checks it but imagine probably the same. Yes we could text or call but I don’t want to hassle him when he’s working or driving or have to wait for a response. He feels the same. If one of us ever felt uncomfortable about it we’d just turn it off 🤷‍♀️ Sometimes it turns off anyway if we don't renew permissions for a while and we've never asked the other one about that. It wouldn't be an issue because we have no reason to distrust the other.

It suits us. It’s OK if it doesn’t suit the next couple.

We have it. DH works in a job where an emergency means he doesn’t have access to his phone and will be late but can’t always let me know. When he’s due to leave work, I have a look and see he’s still at work and know he’ll give me an ETA when I can but I crack on with the bedtime routine and eat without him/go to bed etc. Works for us but I know other people would find this horrific, but then we have nothing to hide.

Used it this afternoon to coordinate getting on the same tube. One of us was on a tube already, the other waiting on a platform. Without anyone having to message anything about being at x station, or just coming into y station, or jumping up to stick their head out of the door and wave, we met up with absolutely no fuss.

It was just a minor thing but it made doing it slightly easier, which is sort of the point really.

Cool yeah this sums up the way we use it and how we feel about it entirely, could have written it myself 👍🏻

Probably warm his slippers too.

So, so bitter. 😆

Are you seriously saying that if you heard on the news of a serious motorway accident causing major delays and knew your mum and child was travelling on that stretch at around that time, you would find it odd to be anxious? Bullshit.
99% of parents would feel anxious and need reassurance. Phoning or texting the driver is not always practical or safe.

There's a difference between being a bit worried/anxious and tracking someone's every move just in case they might be driving somewhere where there's an accident one day.

If there's been an accident and your family are sadly involved, the police or emergency services will call you. Tracking the movement of the driver won't make them any safer or change the outcome of an accident.

Bitter? No.
Fully grown adult who doesn't cling into another adult? Yes.