To have DH's location visible at all times?

[Algor1thm]

This should really be AWBU because it's the same for both of us. We've had location sharing on between us 24/7 for a couple of years now. I can always see where DH is and vice versa. It's hugely helpful and we turned it on for very practical reasons. No more messaging each other where are you, having to explain that we're stuck in traffic, worrying about each other if we're running late etc. It's certainly not to 'check up on each other', there has never been a hint of suspicion of infidelity in the relationship and we both trust each other fully. Days go by without me checking his location, but it's very handy to have there when we need it.

We're both happy with the arrangement, but I said to a friend the other day that I'd just quickly check whether DH was home yet and looked at my phone, and she reacted like what I was doing was really awful. She was gobsmacked and sort of acted like it was a controlling/abusive thing (despite it being both ways). I've mentioned it to several friends since and I've had very mixed reactions. Some couples do the same, some thought it was very odd.

AWBU? Is this a weird invasion of each other's privacy?

@minionsrule I understand phones have their uses but thinking that a phone keeps kids safe from danger is wrong. It's assuming that if something happened they could call, if the get injured or abducted it's unlikely they'll be able to.
Personally I'd rather teach my kids to be independently responsible, aware of their surroundings and possibly dangers they could face and be able to assess risks to avoid situations that might end badly.

We do this. It's mostly for seeing when the other will be home and timing food etc. We jokingly call it the stalker app but are both fine with it.

Why? Does he have a different finish time by hours each day?
Just plate it up for him or make it later, better still, tell him to make himself something when he gets home.

And some are saying that people who tracking have dysfunctional relationships!

What is dysfunctional about the italicised text here?

I genuinely don’t get it.

I met a couple for a business dinner a few years ago.
They told me that their children were living in Australia, they then gave me exact locations in real time for both children.
I said “ how old are they ?”
The answer was “ 36 and 38”!
I would like to think that as an non vulnerable and law abiding adult living in a free country, you would never need this level of surveillance.

Our location services are on, my husband would lose his own head so very handy to find his phone. I barely ever look to see where he is though, only if I’m worried.

We can all track one another and see the cameras on the house. It saves so much time!

I don’t get why it’s seen as so intrusive. Those of you who find it so, don’t your other halves already know what you’re doing?

Well yes they do because we talk to each other, and because we know what each other is doing we have no need to be able to track each other.

Generally as part of the conversation we'll have said what sort of time we'll be back and if we are running late we'll text or call, so once again no need for the other half to monitor progress

It's flagged to me how daily contact differs between partners because the tracker seems to replace lots of phone and text conversations which I just wouldn't be having anyway. If I don't hear from DH and he's expected back from work, I assume he's stuck in traffic. If he's not home when I thought he would be, I assume he's got waylayed or distracted somewhere. I'm not worried about him because that's our norm. If you are in a relationship where you check in with each other through the day, I can see why a tracker would be appealing.

If you both have it on and are happy with the arrangement and it causes no issues then meh, doesn't matter what others think

It's your normal!

I have just been discussing this thread with my DH over breakfast.

He said he’d be irritated by the lack of text or quick call as it’s just rude.

Basic human communication and courtesy seems to me,’is being slowly disregarded.

Your partner is not an EVRI driver?

I get that it works for some, what I
find strange is the ‘at all times mentality’ and the assumption about people’s movement just because you know where they are at any one point in time.

But each to their own!

The notion that it's easier to use the app because there might be a bad line or the other person won't pick up is hilarious. They're looking at the app on the phone you can call them on.

And yeah, you're using it when driving.

I'd argue the opposite. We are completely transparent with each other but also have healthy boundaries and our own lives.

I'd see that as a much healthier relationship and it really worries me that some families normalise tracking each other

It's interesting an above poster laughed at those justifying why they use it. But it's because others are picking things apart and asking lots of questions.

Those that do use it aren't questioning those who don't 'why DON'T you use it???' as they get that what works for them may not work for everyone

It works for some, not for others.

As long as both parties agree and use it respectfully then thats great for them, but also doesn't mean everyone has to do it (and vice versa)

If I was 30 minutes late home from work because I had been held up, and DH told me to make my own dinner because I was late, I might be a bit upset! And vice versa.

A lot of people on here who think it’s weird that couples like to make dinner for each other and eat together as a family.

Like most couples we work around each other. We share the cooking and childcare and chores and appointments depending on who is at home. Location sharing is another tool that makes life easier and I know it’s not for everybody. But I shouldn’t have to justify it!
40 years ago my parents couldn’t text each other either, so should we not text our partners now just because ‘we used to manage without it’?

I think its sad and very symptomatic of the over reliance on technology to conduct a normal relationship where a couple should be communicating effectively f2f.

Yes, this. My partner has just gone out to visit old friends of hers who are over from the US and staying about 70 miles away. When she left I asked for a rough idea of when she'd be back and she said she couldn't say. Possibly late afternoon, possibly later tonight, potentially even tomorrow if she stays over with them. She'll let me know at some point, but even if she doesn't that's fine. We probably won't even bother with WA messaging or calls. If she doesn't come him tonight I'll message to ask when I'm likely to see her tomorrow.

People say 'Can't see what the fuss is about' but they don't seem to see how in 20 years tech has changed not just the the way humans communicate but also our minds and behaviour, and not necessarily for the better. I don't just mean stalking and controlling issues, but being able to function independently as an adult without someone else on the end of a phone. Hooray to the people teaching their children to read a map and use bus timetables!

This isn't strictly true.

Trackers generally use GPS. That's not the same as phone signal (for calls) or data (for using apps).

Most phones will still be pinging GPS even when out of phone/data signal. It's the reason things like the coastguard and mountain rescue carry GPS phones and don't rely on standard mobile phones.

So from the OPs perspective, if she is on the app at home she will be able to see where her DH is as his phone will be pinging the GPS. He doesn't need to have the app open on the phone in his car or even to have mobile phone signal for this to happen.

If you are in a relationship where you check in with each other through the day, I can see why a tracker would be appealing.

No, we rarely phone or text each other through the day. Most of the time my phone is on silent anyway and half the time my husband doesn’t know where his is.

I don’t think you fully understand how location apps work.

I don’t think you fully understand how location apps work.

I don’t think they have the foggiest idea how location apps work.

Some people seem to be really angry that other people are fine with this and find it useful in their lives.

Lots of interrogation going on and trying to pick apart examples. In fact, for people who claim to love privacy the extreme level of questioning and judgment seems (ironically) intrusive!

If both parties agree, that still doesn’t make it ok

😂
I love this thread, it's amusing seeing how many posters are losing their minds over this. Most ridiculous comment above.

DH and I have location share turned on. It started by accident rather than intentionally - I found the option one day when fiddling with Google Maps, I turned it on and then so did DH and it was a bit of novelty/amusement - 'OMG I can't believe technology nowadays, you can see I'm in Sainsburys?! ', 'the map looks like your dot is in the garage, I bet you're fiddling with that door again - you are?! Hahaha, Big Brother is watching youuuuu' etc.

Kind of forgot about it until a random day when I needed to nip out without ds3 and I wondered if DH had left work or not yet - and I checked. Very handy. Told him, he agreed.

Now we use it intermittently for similar...were juggling two jobs, three kids, dog, all the stuff - it's just downright handy to be able to have a quick look where the other is, for numerous reasons. Much easier than having to call or text.

We have a close, trusting relationship and are both fine with it because it makes our lives a tad simpler. It's not even on our radar as an issue. I think those on the thread insisting it's weird/abusive/they'd go mental are projecting quite a bit and probably need a closer look at their own relationships - for many, it's just not a big deal.

Dh and I share location, and dd who is away at school has her location turned on. She can see where we are and we can see where she is. We all know about it, we all consent and actually use it very rarely. The other day I had been away for work and had to drive 300 miles home in time to collect ds at school. Dh was on standby but not easily available. He was able to periodically check my progress and make sure I was going to make it without calling and distracting me.

I also share location with my best friend. I don't ever lie about where I am and neither does she. It's comforting that people care about my life and safety.

The dc know we all share - there's no drama attached to it.

If it works for you both then that's fine.