I know I am AIBU, but whenever child-free ppl complain about being tired I get annoyed, barring medical/health issues

[worldenoughandtime]

This is just a secret confession here, in the anonymity of the internet, and I hope I have enough social skills to disguise my true feelings. Which is of extreme annoyance when child-free people complain about being tired (given there are no aggravating health concerns). (In my social circle at least, people complain about being tired and busy all the time).

The tiredness that comes with managing kids - especially more than one, and especially for lone/single parents of which there seems to be more and more- is just on a different level. Needed to get that off my chest.

Yeah but pre children, none of us really had a clue about just how exhausting being a parent is. Plus child free people do have genuine bouts of tiredness I'm sure! It's just that they have more opportunity to chill out - yes I'm jealous!

It’s a shame the OP has never done a days hard work isn’t it?

That means people have to to their personal health conditions so that you don't judge them for feeling tired

Or you could just assume you have no idea what's going on in people's lives and that they might have a good reason to feel tired that you don't know about.

When I was 18 my physics teacher had a right go at me because he overheard me saying I was stressed. I didn't know what stress was apparently. I was stressed because the carers looking after my grandmother had turned up late that morning making me late for school amd I had had to get up in the night several times with her. I was also being abused by my mother. I absolutely still think he was a jerk for assuming I had no stress based on me being in school.

Tiredness is a basic aspect of human life. It is not exclusive to parents. Your rationale has no logical or scientific basis.

I never understand the competitive misery on this website. Someone without children might spend 75 hours a week working in emergency services or other demanding role, just to be told they’re “extremely annoying” by @worldenoughandtime if they say they’re tired 🙄what a joke

your only achievement may be producing offspring but there’s plenty of other physically (and mentally) draining accomplishments people achieve on a daily basis. You are not special

You must also think that anyone who isn't a brain surgeon or a bomb detonator can't be properly stressed about their job

Or that anyone not dying from ab incurable disease is not allowed to complain about their health issues

See how silly this reasoning is?

It's not a contest.

If they're tired they're tired. It's not something you can just decide. And people don't tend to exaggerate tiredness they just say what they feel.

OP is just enforcing the stereotype that some childfree people have - that people with children think they're superior and that childfree people's time and live are somehow worth less than hers because OMG SHE HAS KIDS.

Fuck off OP. I have no kids. I have no diagnosed health issues. I'm tired. Get over yourself and cop on.

Unlike the OP of course who is clearly a delight

Am I allowed to complain if I'm tired because of work not my DC? Interested to know when the line's drawn😁

Not necessarily. What if they work long hours, are studying on top, caring, have a terrible commute, disruptive neighbours? Then how do they chill?

The OP specifies a pass for those with health issues. But why would she know everyone's health issues, especially if undiagnosed? It's a stupid, myopic post.

There's no tiredness like knowing your parent is going to die, soon, not sure when,very demented, so confused. Utterly heartbreaking .... can't sleep for thinking about him

But hey, thank goodness my kids are grown....cos having younger kids is where REAL tiredness is

@PAFMO Of course taking care of children is hard work! It just happens to be unpaid for when done by mothers. That's all. It's work alright. It's both physical and emotional labour. There are studies out there showing how much this labour is worth.

yes, I work full-time, and a part-time gig. Yes, I do have time to go on social media and complain.

@rainyskylight I have noticed that child-free people do become emotionally invested in things that occupy the similar sort of "child-like" role of concern, worry, and financial expenditure in their lives.

Caregiving for elderly parents is extremely tiring, I acknowledge that. My 82 yr old dad lived with us for nine-month during the peak of the pandemic and I was shattered.

Going through an abusive relationship is its own special sort of hell (been there, done that).

I have wondered if child-free ppl complaining a lot about being tired may have undiagnosed medical conditions.

I didn't choose to have mine. I had 3 months to prepare 🤣

I don't agree at all. Yes child-rearing is tiring. But my job is infinitely more stressful and exhausting, even when DD was a toddler. And trying to help look after an elderly parent with dementia beats both.

I have no children. As such, I get to go out lots and come back late. Or even not at all. And, guess what? Late nights sometimes make me tired 🤷

So if you have a thyroid condition or insomnia (my sympathies, I have it too and it's horrible) or autism which exacerbates your fatigue, I will not get as (internally) annoyed when hearing your complaints of tiredness.

Oh I just noticed the little gem of not getting as annoyed of people with illnesses and no children complain of tiredness. But still some level of annoyance. Wow!

I have the most painful condition possible. So on that basis should I start judging mothers who complain how painful childbirth was? Or maybe I could be a normal person and have some empathy.

But how do you know they have issues? For example I also had undiagnosed thyroid issues, people at work probably thought I was lazy. Hell even I wondered if I was just lazy because others including people with young children weren't as bone crushingly tired as I felt. Once diagnosed it made sense but having my exhaustion made out to be laziness was even more exhausting. And for what it's worth I had children before I was diagnosed and still felt less tired than when I was child free but working full time (on my feet 10 hours a day)

I nursed a sick husband until he passed away. I did the same with both parents and am now the point of contact for another elderly relative. I've sat up all night on numerous occasions. I've been called out at all hours of the day and night. I've done daily hospital visits and a regular 70odd mile round trip for a few months as the wife of someone undergoing cancer treatment.
But none of this matters because I'm not a parent. I couldn't possibly be as tired as you.
Open your eyes! There is a whole life out there other than parents. Take your blinkers off

Everyone has different stresses and strains on their lives, so everyone should be allowed to feel tired or worn out regardless of their circumstances.

What I absoloutley hate is "well, you chose to have them"

There is literally nothing that can prepare you fully for what comes with parenting. You could be a Nanny, a teacher, have grown up in a house with multiple siblings etc.

It does not prepare you fully for what comes. Therefore whilst you choose to become a parent, there are many aspects of parenting that you just don't know about before it comes.

And then it's too late.

I don't have kids. Bit after doing 12 hour shift as a nurse. I'm tired! Is that allowed?

I've got 2 grown up children so not actually caring for children anymore. I'm far more tired now than I ever was when they were young.

My friend is 48 and childless. She works as a carer and is a carer for her terminally ill mum who's in her 80s. She looks after several other infirm family friends. Her entire adulthood has involved her caring for others, first her grandparents and then her father who became terminally ill in his 50s. She's always helping others out, driving people to appointments, getting their shopping etc. She never seems to rest, she's does everything domestically. She pays the mortgage and all the bills. I have kids and she doesn't but her life is much harder than mine. She's also more exhausted than me.

There's enough tiredness for everyone 🤣 it's not a contest. My job makes me far far more tired than 10 years of single parenting ever did.