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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know I am AIBU, but whenever child-free ppl complain about being tired I get annoyed, barring medical/health issues

381 replies

worldenoughandtime · 13/01/2023 18:07

This is just a secret confession here, in the anonymity of the internet, and I hope I have enough social skills to disguise my true feelings. Which is of extreme annoyance when child-free people complain about being tired (given there are no aggravating health concerns). (In my social circle at least, people complain about being tired and busy all the time).

The tiredness that comes with managing kids - especially more than one, and especially for lone/single parents of which there seems to be more and more- is just on a different level. Needed to get that off my chest.

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 13/01/2023 18:16

I bet this thread will vanish

As an insomniac, I've also been told it's a shame I didn't want kids because at least I'd cope with sleep deprivation. Some people are just bonkers.

Original poster
worldenoughandtime · 13/01/2023 18:16

@Sirzy I acknowledge that you will get more tired than parents of kids who do not have disabilities. I wish you lots of non-tired times! And yes, I would consider it bad taste if I was with a parent of a kid who had disabilities and I went on about how tired I am and how hard it is to parent my non-disabled kids.

@Greensleevevssnotnose The first was planned, the second "unplanned but not unwanted" as I rationalize to myself.

But that's my point- I feel a lot of small talk has become, as you say, a race to the bottom about how busy/stressed/tired/overworked you are. And when child-free ppl do it (again, barring health concerns) it annoys me. Because I feel the amount of work, and stress, for that matter, that comes with having children -even children you chose to have, simply does not compare.

OP posts:
Nicanabanana · 13/01/2023 18:16

I was tired before I had kids too.

BitOutOfPractice · 13/01/2023 18:16

I have been a single girl around town, a single mother of two young kids, and now I'm a menopausal women. I have been tired at some point in all of those three stages. Sorry if that annoys you.

Battlecat98 · 13/01/2023 18:17

That is ridiculous, I have 2 DC now teens . If anyone I know says they are tired I can't say I have ever thought but you don't have children, what a very strange thing.

Thesealsknowsheismagic · 13/01/2023 18:17

worldenoughandtime · 13/01/2023 18:16

@Sirzy I acknowledge that you will get more tired than parents of kids who do not have disabilities. I wish you lots of non-tired times! And yes, I would consider it bad taste if I was with a parent of a kid who had disabilities and I went on about how tired I am and how hard it is to parent my non-disabled kids.

@Greensleevevssnotnose The first was planned, the second "unplanned but not unwanted" as I rationalize to myself.

But that's my point- I feel a lot of small talk has become, as you say, a race to the bottom about how busy/stressed/tired/overworked you are. And when child-free ppl do it (again, barring health concerns) it annoys me. Because I feel the amount of work, and stress, for that matter, that comes with having children -even children you chose to have, simply does not compare.

Are you always so self involved?

LaLuz7 · 13/01/2023 18:17

Good. Stay mad 😘

ConfusedNT · 13/01/2023 18:18

I've had insomnia off and on for over 10 years. And I've got to listen to people saying this crap for over 10 years.

Honestly if I wasn't getting less than 2 hours sleep a night at the moment I would probably have more tolerance for this bullshit.

Lividity · 13/01/2023 18:18

I was more tired as a full time teacher and singleton with an undiagnosed thyroid problem than I am now: a part time teacher with a non-sleeping co-sleeping still breastfeeding toddler and a medicated thyroid.

I get less actual sleep, and haven’t slept past 7 since early 2019, but I’m still less tired than before.

Lottapianos · 13/01/2023 18:19

'Fuck me, us childfree people really can't do anything right can we?'

Certainly feels like it sometimes!

OP, I think you know you are being ridiculous. We all have prickly, precious moments so that's understandable but do also give yourself a shake

PinkiOcelot · 13/01/2023 18:19

I’ve got 2 kids and think your being absolutely ridiculous.

My youngest is 18 now so not up with them and haven’t been for years but I can have a late night and up early in the morning so am tired, but that doesn’t count?!

Greenshake · 13/01/2023 18:19

What would we do without selfless martyrs like you OP?

Florissant · 13/01/2023 18:19

I have autism and spend a lot of cognitive energy masking my condition. It's exhausting.

PAFMO · 13/01/2023 18:20

I'm not childfree though mine is 19 and studying in a different country to me.
I'm fucking knackered today having been at school for approximately 10 hours a day all week this week.
So do fuck off OP.

tinytemper66 · 13/01/2023 18:20

I don't give a shit if it annoys you that I am tired. I have adult DC so not child free but am in late 50s so yeah I get tired after working all week full time.

Aloezebra · 13/01/2023 18:21

I’m glad you have the sense to keep this to yourself other than anonymously because you sound like a dick

DILLIGAFQUEEN · 13/01/2023 18:21

Someone I know shared a meme on SM which was basically a single mum playing a violin to a 2 income household complaining about gas and electric bills. That boiled my piss as well.

Spikeyball · 13/01/2023 18:21

I could say that parents of kids without disabilities shouldn't complain about being tired. And when ds turns 18 so no longer a child, should I no longer say that I am tired.

Y7drama · 13/01/2023 18:21

What a silly post so a nurse or midwife doing nightshifts with crappy daytime sleep shouldn’t be tired if they don’t have kids?

Lds1 · 13/01/2023 18:21

I'm childfree by choice, I'm too tired right now to justify why I am so tired.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 13/01/2023 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PAFMO · 13/01/2023 18:22

I see it's something you wanted to get off your chest and chose the anonymity of a cowardly name change to do so as well.

EmmaDilemma5 · 13/01/2023 18:22

Childless people can feel tired too. Yes, they probably aren't as drained as parents are, but that's like saying you can't ever feel lonely as you have kids.

I have three kids under 5. Does that mean people with one child can't complain?

Bubblebubblebah · 13/01/2023 18:22

Bored on Friday night so goading, aren't we

Chikapu · 13/01/2023 18:22

Because I feel the amount of work, and stress, for that matter, that comes with having children -even children you chose to have, simply does not compare

Thank you for your sacrifice.

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