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Original poster

Does anyone else have no wish to be very "thin"?

155 replies

Felix01 · 13/01/2023 04:37

My BMI is 21.5 probably a bit porky by MN standards. I've been ill but I feel a bit frail and too thin, my hip bones are jutting , I'm going back to the gym to do weight training I like having big thighs , big bum , feeling strong I'd be happier with a BMI of around 22.5 even 23. Does anyone else feel like me or does everyone want to have a very low BMI? Is being very thin a sign of status? I think once women start to get older it looks very aging.

OP posts:
DeeCeeCherry · 13/01/2023 04:58

I am in my 50s and a healthy looking and feeling size 14. I have absolutely no desire to be thinner, I eat sensibly (with the occasional binge day), I exercise. I dont want to be a food martyr neither do I want to be haggard faced and obsessing over what I eat.

TheNeverEndingOver · 13/01/2023 05:04

Even 23

Mercurial123 · 13/01/2023 05:07

Felix01 · 13/01/2023 04:37

My BMI is 21.5 probably a bit porky by MN standards. I've been ill but I feel a bit frail and too thin, my hip bones are jutting , I'm going back to the gym to do weight training I like having big thighs , big bum , feeling strong I'd be happier with a BMI of around 22.5 even 23. Does anyone else feel like me or does everyone want to have a very low BMI? Is being very thin a sign of status? I think once women start to get older it looks very aging.

I doubt most people want to be super thin when so many people in the UK are overweight. Just concentrate on yourself and don't worry about anyone else?

LocalHobo · 13/01/2023 05:13

In my opinion,the thin over-50's (male and female)I know, look scraggy. However they are striving for this 'look' so maybe they do see it as a status thing. And it's just my opinion, like I find many bald men attractive whereas on MN they are often spoken of with disdain.

Oblomov22 · 13/01/2023 05:19

Never been thin. Always was a nice size 12, then a size 12-14, for 30 years, curvy but never slim. No desire to be.

BadNomad · 13/01/2023 05:28

I haven't been thin since I was 3-years-old. I would quite like to experience it though. Any time I have lost some weight, I've ended up feeling really cold and my butt hurt after sitting at the computer for a while. I can't imagine what being very thin would feel like.

Laserbird16 · 13/01/2023 05:30

I honestly couldn't care less about my BMI or anyone else's. It's a very poor indicator of health and after an injury that severally impacted my comfort and function my main goal is being strong and fit enough to do what I need to do in my life. Objectively getting 'thin' may help a little with taking some load off my joints but the level of misery I would have to put myself through just wouldn't be worth the head space. Gaining the muscle mass I lost will have a better a much greater impact on my life with less misery.

ivykaty44 · 13/01/2023 05:41

It’s not how my body looks but how king it will be comfortable to live in. Being an appropriate weight, eating sensibly, exercising, strength training should all lead to a comfortable body which will last

Jourdain11 · 13/01/2023 06:08

What's the point of this thread? It appears to be an excuse to bash thin people - status driven, jutting bones, haggard faced, old-looking...

bluetongue · 13/01/2023 06:11

Gosh I think most people would consider a BMI of 21.5 ‘thin’ already, not a bit porky. Fuck, I’m overjoyed to be BMI 24 and no longer overweight.

Dontsparethehorses · 13/01/2023 06:19

Yes I don’t know if height plays a part in this but it just shows how crazy bmi is - I’m losing weight now a size 10 (very short) but my bmi is 25.3 aiming to get down to 23.5 as healthy bmi

LapinR0se · 13/01/2023 06:21

I’m BMI 19.5 and feel fine but if it goes lower then my face looks completely haggard

PAFMO · 13/01/2023 06:23

Nobody I know in real life gives "being thin" a second thought once they're over the age of about 19.
BMI of 21 unless you're 3ft tall is hardly obese.
Is that OK for your article?

WandaWonder · 13/01/2023 06:24

Well I accepted myself the day I was born and just get on with it

Well a slight exaggeration but I am me and just accept that

FindingMeno · 13/01/2023 06:25

I don't understand the whole 'haggard' face thing.
What does that really mean?
Angular? Wrinkly?

Hollyhead · 13/01/2023 06:25

I wish I could have a bmi higher than 20 without feeling utterly disgusting. I have to maintain a certain weight to be happy. I’ve tried coping with an extra stone and I can’t bear the way the fat feels on my body. There are upsides as I’ll never be overweight, but it is an unpleasant thing to live with!

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/01/2023 06:29

Jourdain11 · 13/01/2023 06:08

What's the point of this thread? It appears to be an excuse to bash thin people - status driven, jutting bones, haggard faced, old-looking...

I read it as a thread questioning the cult of thinness as a status goal. There are definitely some people in our society who think being skinny is something to aspire to.

I went through a brief period of being really thin after my marriage failed. At no other point in my life have I ever been properly thin: I am usually average but with a slight tendency towards being a bit overweight but its never really bothered me much.

For about a year I got a kick out of looking really thin (gaunt) and it gave me a window onto what it must be like having an eating disorder. It was an unpleasant mixture of feeling powerful and extremely lacking in power at the same time. The weight loss was literally the only thing I had going for me in my life at that time as the rest of my life was chaos.

It was horrible and I'd never want to go back there. With respect and kindness to people who have chronic eating disorders, the cult of thinness for its own sake is basically an admission of lack of agency over your own life and I would never want to celebrate or aspire to that.

Namechange567775 · 13/01/2023 06:31

Really interesting discussion!
Currently 6months post partum and still a few kilos heavier than I’m used to pre pregnancy and I’ve recently come to the conclusion that I actually don’t care. I look good, better if anything and (bar the lack of sleep) feel great.
I used to be very strict with counting calories, running a set number of miles each week, getting my steps in and pride myself on my ‘no excuses’ approach.
I’ve since come to realise there absolutely are and should be ‘excuses’ and flexibility, and rediscovered the joy of food and exercising because I want to rather than have to.
I don’t want to be lucky enough to make it to my 80s and still be logging grams of peanut butter in My Fitness Pal for half a kilo less on the scales!

BeautifulWar · 13/01/2023 06:37

I don't like feeling flabby and jiggly or feeling the increased effort when eVen just walking. I haven't weighed myself but after Christmas, I'm feeling both of those, so it's time to clean up my act.

I have no wish to be thin, though, I remember the early 00s hell of always being on a diet and the cycle of self hatred when I slipped up.

I thought the fashion had shifted to health now anyway? Maybe not high fashion, but the days of superstar models are over really, aren't they?

RedRiverShore3 · 13/01/2023 06:38

Not now I am older, I'm 5'10" just under 11 stones, size 14 and BMI about 22, I am quite happy with that

ReformedWaywardTeen · 13/01/2023 06:39

I think there is a huge difference between 'thin" and healthy.

Obviously, height plays a massive part.

I'm now a size 16, I'm 5'8. I'm in proportion.
Likewise, from 13 to 24 I was incredibly skinny, very much in with the thin look of the late 90s, hips out, flat tummy, flat chested.

I did have anorexia in my mid to late teens, and used to stupidly compete with someone I thought of as a mate at sixth form to not eat most of the week bar fruit.

I then had my DD when I was 25, probably looked the best ever, as I was breastfeeding, suddenly had huge boobs, but was slim and a healthy weight. All went downhill when I had DS and he was incredibly early and I couldn't breastfeed but had gotten used to eating what I liked which was a novelty to me whilst pregnant and breastfeeding. I went up to a size 18/20 and felt unwell with it, alot was stress eating and I was on strong anti-depressants following a breakdown.

I'm OK with how I am but keeping an eye on it as I'm now peri-menopausal and know that that can cause weight to pile on my middle.

If I could be any size I'd prefer a 14 but also like my boobs!

NeonEyes · 13/01/2023 06:54

Weird thread. If your mind is healthy, then you will want to be healthy, fit and have lots of energy. If you’re mind isn’t healthy, you’ll be preoccupied with how you look, BMI, numbers on the scales.

Eat healthily, exercise and you’ll be a healthy weight, unless you have other medical issues stopping that from being the case.

Whatwouldscullydo · 13/01/2023 07:15

I've spent so much time over the years wishing I was thinner. I'm just not built that way. My arse and thighs can be seen from space. I expect one day to find I have a satellite or something.

Occasionally I meet someone who seems to dig having something to hold onto and who says they don't understand my problem with my body

Although tbh its usually a bit of a mind fuck because that person won't turn out to be anything to me in the long run. But its a nice break from feeling like the fat middle aged woman that I am 🤣

Wanderingowl · 13/01/2023 07:56

Does everyone want to be thin? I'm pretty sure most women, if given a magic wish, would choose pronounced hourglass.

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/01/2023 08:02

Wanderingowl · 13/01/2023 07:56

Does everyone want to be thin? I'm pretty sure most women, if given a magic wish, would choose pronounced hourglass.

A lot of women in particular obsess about being thin and see it as a major life goal. The health and wellness or aesthetic benefits are almost irrelevant to this. It’s a weird status symbol just to be able to be thin for its own sake. I have worked with loads of people like this.

Its really sinister and fucked up.