Does anyone else have no wish to be very "thin"?

[Felix01]

My BMI is 21.5 probably a bit porky by MN standards. I've been ill but I feel a bit frail and too thin, my hip bones are jutting , I'm going back to the gym to do weight training I like having big thighs , big bum , feeling strong I'd be happier with a BMI of around 22.5 even 23. Does anyone else feel like me or does everyone want to have a very low BMI? Is being very thin a sign of status? I think once women start to get older it looks very aging.

This is a horrible anti-thin thread. If people want to spend their time in the pursuit of thinness well that’s their prerogative just as it is for people who choose to overeat. I personally don’t care what people look like and certainly don’t bash them for their looks. This is such a toxic thread.

Weird....

I dislike 'haggered' as a term, very agist and offensive. But, from my experience, when my weight dropped below a certain level I lost fat from my cheeks which had previously acted as a bit of scaffolding keeping my lower face lifted so i was a bit sunken and droopy. The years of having a fatter face had also stretched the skin and it didn't ping back as it might have when I was younger, leaving some creases and sagging. Half a stone back on and its no longer an issue. Its probably not an issue for women who've always been thin either, more a weight loss thing.

I don't want to be thin. I have never known what my weight is, nor my BMI. I agree that being too thin is ageing - we need some flesh on our faces.

You are looking at it entirely the wrong way. Well you are looking at it in a very shallow vacuous way to be honest. It’s not about what your face looks like , it’s about being the right weight for your body to operate at its peak, not have health issues. I don’t think there’s ever been a death certificate where the cause of death has been “wrinkly face”.

I. 60 and I'd love to be very slim. I remember how wonderful it felt physically. Every pound at my age feels like a lead weight on my knees and back.

I lost loads of weight a couple of years ago and went from BMI 40 to 19.5. As I am knocking 50, I look all the things quoted upthread - haggard, saggy etc. But because yes, being thin is seen as some kind of status symbol / aspiration, others do express envy / jealousy.

Its weird. Bloody stressful too, as eating more normally (eg. a one day binge) immediately adds half a stone.

My mum is nearly 70 and skinny as a rake, she weighs about 8 stone and is not at all haggard. I think it's being bigger and then suddenly losing weight that makes people sometimes look haggard, not just being thin. I also think it's what over weight people tell themselves to make themselves feel better about being over weight. I hope I look as good as my mum when I'm 70!

I would just like to be toned and not flabby. For me that happens when my BMI is between 22 and 24 (though I could probably be bigger if I had a higher proportion of muscle).

Mumsnet is MENTAL regarding BMI. Everyone on here claims to be right on the lower end/under the lower end of ‘normal’ and I just don’t believe it. There just aren’t that many people out there who are THAT skinny.

Last time my bmi dropped under 22 it was because I had an acute worsening of heart failure. Everyone remarked on how skinny and bony I looked at this point in my life and I am a delicately boned, small boobed woman.

You are right about it being a marker of status too. Probably because managing to stay at a low weight means you generally have the time and energy to dedicate to diet, excercise and taking care of yourself properly. It’s likely you excercise a large amount of self control and dedication to staying in shape - which is easier to do when there is less less general stress in your life; when you have flexible working patterns and aren’t overwhelmed; when you are able to prioritise your self care and have the mental bandwidth to excercise self control and make healthy decisions.

My bmi is around 21.5 but because I'm very short it doesn't seem particularly slim. I feel quite chunky.
I used to be anorexic but I've been recovered probably 20 years and my weight has stayed stable and within about half a stone (excluding pregnancy) for all that time. I've never really been that happy with what I look like. I know I don't want to be anorexic skinny again and I'm fit and healthy but in my head I'd look better if I was a bit thinner. (Or basically smaller shoulders, waist and thighs! ) ...but I probably would still find something to complain about!

Yep. I look underweight and feel fragile and too bony (jutting hip bones, full set of ribs visible, hollows around my bum), before getting to a clinically underweight bmi. I do think it was helpful to be that weight (bmi 19) for six months (it was after a bad breakup) because it cured me of my desire to diet. I started not liking things about my body because it was too thin and I still had some of the things I had associated with being too fat (slightly sticky-out tummy. Minor cellulite on my thighs). Which mean I stopped worrying about trying to get a totally flat tummy and perfect thighs. I realised it was
never going to be a reality for me without looking and feeling ill. I like being bmi 20-23 - I feel that weight range works well for me and my body.

I think as you get older you need some reserves. Cancer outcomes are worse if BMI is low at time of diagnosis.

I'm 38 and I look haggard if I get too thin as I have a small/slim face. I need to lose a couple of stone still but wouldn't want to be too thin.

By haggard it usually means there is a loss of fat from the face - it may be by slimness, it may be by drugs, it may be by poverty , it may be by poor health, it may be by lack of teeth and inadequate nutrition and it may also be due to age. It is not something that is confined to older people and yes men can look haggard too.

I don’t think anybody wants to be ‘very thin’ or ‘very fat’
the phrasing itself isn’t flattering.. someone “thin” might consider themselves slim.. someone “fat” might consider themselves curvy or voluptuous

anyway why do you care what other people prefer for themselves? It’s a bit judgemental don’t you think?

I would like to be slimmer as a nice side effect of exercising more mostly to boost health and strength but not as thin as I used to be. When I got married and before I had kids, about 25, I was consistently 9st2lb and looking back at some pictures I definitely feel like that would not suit me now. I do look a bit too thin tbh albeit completely in the "healthy" range.

Now I'm happy to settle with being "bigger" if I'm exercising better, strengthening my body and fueling it better. I'm a little out of the so called healthy BMI zone but I think it's a terrible way to measure health so I don't pay it any attention.

I have always been thin and always got shit for it.
I never dieted, never sought it out but always always got shade from other women: told I am not a real woman, I look like a boy, excluded from conversations about diet and clothes ‘oh you wouldn’t get it’.
Since having two kids and up to a few months ago I was a bit more ‘normal / slim’ but in November I found out I have really high cholesterol.
So I have been eating better and exercising and lo and behold am now thin again. And I am already getting weird comments.
it really pisses me off to think that all the normal women are out there thinking how haggard and gross I am - and/or shallow or pampered. This is just what my body is like: back off.

I like being healthy, active and strong. I like being fairly slim without excessive body fat to make life more effort and tire my joints out. My BMI is 24 and 23 is my realistic aspirational place.

In my early adult years it was naturally around 20-21 and I was happy and well on that. With age, having had babies, gaining muscle mass and a natural bit of rounding out, my happy zone has gone up. I have no desire to replicate the build I had 20 years ago and go through a lot of sacrifice to attempt it.

It's not just BMI I pay attention to, I look at the big picture of how I feel, sports watch stats, what my body does, how clothes fit, tape measure. I just check in with myself every now and then and consider if there are habits that need tweaking before bigger issues develop. It's about how I feel rather than numbers for numbers sake.

As I get older, that happy zone may well adjust upwards again.
Age matters with BMI. We naturally gradually gain weight as we get older and while obesity is a health problem, having some reserves of body fat can be beneficial as we move into older age. Neither extreme is good, especially if muscle mass is poor.

I enjoy my food, I enjoy my activity levels. I enjoy being in my healthy female body and I balance looking after it with enjoying life. I've never wanted to look "thin" for the sake of it.

In the 90's when I was a teen I wanted to be thin. Now I'm happy with slim. I'm not sure what my bmi is, probably the highest it's been and I'd guess around 21 but might the underestimating 😅. Happy with my weight but could do to improve tone/fitness and eat a bit better

Where I live it is definitely a status thing to be thin - very few overweight women. I’m pushing a 12-14 after Christmas and my clothes are too tight so I’ve started back on 1200 calories a day to try and get a stone or so off. I tend to use my clothes as a marker more than bmi etc.
I like being in a size 10 but more than anything, it’s the increased energy/happier mood I feel when I’m eating healthier and doing a bit of exercise each day that makes me covet being thinner.

Mumsnet is MENTAL regarding BMI. Everyone on here claims to be right on the lower end/under the lower end of ‘normal’ and I just don’t believe it. There just aren’t that many people out there who are THAT skinny.

Im very sceptical of these type of threads as well, and take them with a massive pinch of salt.

On the one hand there’s no reason why anyone would lie about their weight and BMI on an anonymous thread. But on the other hand I remember as a teenager my friends and I used to make up completely random problems and sent them to Just17 magazine problem page. I always think some posters on mumsnet are doing the adult equivalent of this!

And of course any thread like this is entirely self selecting. The 90% of people who don’t really think about their weight won’t click on it. Of the 10% who do care enough to click it follows that quite a lot of these will be the type of person who puts time, thought and effort into maintaining a low weight.

Mumsnet is MENTAL regarding BMI. Everyone on here claims to be right on the lower end/under the lower end of ‘normal’ and I just don’t believe it. There just aren’t that many people out there who are THAT skinny.

To be fair I don't look skinny til I'm under the normal window so even at the lower end I'm simply slim. Just how my body shape is I guess. It's been a long time since I had mine calculated though so as I said I'm only guessing and could be underestimating. Certainly no reason to lie to an bunch of strangers

My BMI was 20.7 for my whole adult life pre kids - whatever I ate/however much I exercised I weighed 60kg at 5’7. Since kids the same thing has happened but im now 64kg so BMI is 22. I’ve gone up a clothes size (from a 10 to a 12). I can’t seem to shift that 4kg (haven’t attempted starving myself though assume that would do it) so have just accepted it as my new weight now. I still look good and feel good and would choose my kids over my thinner self a million times over.

And of course any thread like this is entirely self selecting. The 90% of people who don’t really think about their weight won’t click on it. Of the 10% who do care enough to click it follows that quite a lot of these will be the type of person who puts time, thought and effort into maintaining a low weight.

Definitely don't fall on to this category either 😆. Clicked on it because I'm bored at home with sleeping unwell dc and just reading whatever comes up in active. Not put any thought or effort in for a very long time

I was always very thin but went into early menopause in my late 30s early 40s and am bigger now, a size 12 in most things and the occassional size 10 if its Marks or someone else where the clothes come up big. Looking back on photos I look gaunt and considering, despite my thinness, I had massive boobs and I hate looking at the photos. (The NHS saved my mental health giving me a breast reduction at 50 - eradicating back pain & other issues caused by them thankfully as well)