To Pay for a Strangers Shopping?

[NameChangeAgainandAgainandAgain]

I've name changed for this ...

There's a truly lovely thread on Chat called "What is the most memorable moment you shared with a stranger who you never saw again?".

There are many stories about the kindness of complete strangers and what a difference they have made to their life.

Some stories are incredibly moving and talk about how strangers have helped out when, for instance, a loved one has died.

Other stories talk about how a stranger has helped when things have been tough financially.

I know times are hard and reading all the posts has made me think that I'd like to, perhaps, pay for someone's basket of shopping in the supermarket, their petrol or buy someone a coffee etc.

Having read the impact this sort of thing has had on people, and how they remember it so many years on, I'd like to do this rather than donate as such.

How do you do this without being condescending or insulting? And how do you know who to do it to?

I wouldn't want any thanks as I'd probably run off quickly as I'd be embarrassed!

Exactly! Saying something is too expensive is quite different from saying 'I can't afford it' or 'we don't have the money'.

It's very presumptious to assume someone doesn't have enough money. Don't intefere with other people's daily business. It's so rude!

I'm in a group Random Acts of Crochet Kindness. I love to crochet ❤️ 😍 and am always making little toys and leaving them out to be found. I've seen several pictures of delighted children posted on the group with my toys.

I take it you’ve reported my offensive posts across a few threads then @Notthetoothfairy

I can’t see any deletions, I must say.

That's fabulous!

Oysterbabe · 14/01/2023 16:25

I'm in a group Random Acts of Crochet Kindness. I love to crochet ❤️ 😍 and am always making little toys and leaving them out to be found.

There are quite a few people doing that, it's very kind. A lady in Newcastle does something similar, with uplifting messages.

I wouldn't do it for random people. I might if someone in front of me at the checkout had to put stuff back.

My family of 5 were at a restaurant we'd never been to before. When we asked for the bill (c. £80) we were told that one of their regular customers had paid our bill for us. He'd already left so we couldn't refuse it. The waiter was keen for us to write the man a thank you letter (we didn't - it was just too weird). We were just flabbergasted, gave a bigger than normal tip and left. We don't have money problems and wouldn't have gone to the restaurant if we couldn't afford it. I don't think we look down at heel.

It was just embarrassing and weird. The restaurant was very good and not too far from a relative's house, but we wouldn't go there again.

@SinnerBoy Oh yes, always leave a little note or twee poem that would make mumsnet throw up 😂

I was in Aldi several years ago now, before they accepted card payments and a lady came in with baby in sling and young child she picked up nappies, wipes and a few other little bits, lunch box type things. She did not have enough cash. She was paying with lots of small change. I remember thinking looks like she used piggy bank cash. She put a couple of bits back including a pizza, and the little boy started crying. I was 2 behind her in queue and gave her some money in change. Not a lot but a few pound coins and fifty p pieces, enough so she could pay and get bits back. Little boy gave me lovely smile.

Very cheering! My daughter would love to fine one!

I have a card that gets me 20 percent discount at MOTO services. I was on a journey and popped in to buy a burger for me and son on our way home. There were some Scouts, all in their uniforms counting out money and trying to work out what they could afford. I told them if they stood next to me in queue I could get them 20 percent off their order. When they went to pay I just used my discount card for them. They did and were so pleased they could get all the food they wanted.

I've paid peoples bus fare a few times when card declined or realised they had no cash and card facility had failed and bus driver was not going to let them on (tossers!)

Love the crochet toys - that would put a smile on my face if I saw it.

I am wary about stepping in and buying stuff for people but I would cover a bus fare etc. I would be annoyed if someone paid for my meal as I don't need the money and would prefer someone in need to benefit.

I also agree with PP who say be wary about buying things for children unless the parents have agreed. I often refused my children toys or comics if I felt it was a "I've seen it - I must have it" impulse that would fade as soon as we left the shop. We are comfortably off, so it's not a matter of money, but I have always made a point of not giving in to every request otherwise where does it end.

One thing that did make me happy was when the DC outgrew their first bikes we left them by the gate with a help yourself note - they were just average bikes so not worth selling. A couple of days later an excited small boy whizzed past me on the pavement on DS2's old bike with his Dad jogging along with him. I hope he got as much joy out of it as my DC.

Not sure about the idea of the person buying the ice creams for kids. I frequently refuse ice creams and similar because I’d rather grab a box full for £2 from a supermarket rather than the scoop type which is always pricey . £8 for a triple scoop in a cone in my local ice parlour 😬
I could afford it but it’s not something I want to support, it’s simply wasting money which ultimately means I have to work more, and they have less time with me.
Given the chance , kids do this in every shop. Comics are the worst… I’ll rarely buy them because they’re just advertising and plastic junk for £5. But you can guarantee when my little one begs and sobs at the checkout and I’m there saying ‘nope… too expensive’ there’ll be someone waiting , ready to offer to pay.

I paid for an older ladies shopping on Xmas eve just as the supermarket was closing. I saw her on the way round comparing prices and was behind her but one at the till. Her card was declined and she said the cash machine was broken when she was sent there by the cashier so started to put everything back. She only had basics worth about £30 so I paid. I feel like part of it was actually for selfish reasons as I would not have forgiven myself nor enjoyed my own Xmas Dinner had I not paid

I also bought multi packs of cookies, donuts etc along with my weekly shop for aldi staff to put in their staff room during covid as I saw first hand how much shit they were getting because of the restrictions on certain items. Dp said that was weird but I still think it was a nice thing to do

It was!

Now that's how it should be done! With no fuss, no announcement and anonymously :)