To Pay for a Strangers Shopping?

[NameChangeAgainandAgainandAgain]

I've name changed for this ...

There's a truly lovely thread on Chat called "What is the most memorable moment you shared with a stranger who you never saw again?".

There are many stories about the kindness of complete strangers and what a difference they have made to their life.

Some stories are incredibly moving and talk about how strangers have helped out when, for instance, a loved one has died.

Other stories talk about how a stranger has helped when things have been tough financially.

I know times are hard and reading all the posts has made me think that I'd like to, perhaps, pay for someone's basket of shopping in the supermarket, their petrol or buy someone a coffee etc.

Having read the impact this sort of thing has had on people, and how they remember it so many years on, I'd like to do this rather than donate as such.

How do you do this without being condescending or insulting? And how do you know who to do it to?

I wouldn't want any thanks as I'd probably run off quickly as I'd be embarrassed!

@Cariadz I love that when that happens 😁

I’ve bought another persons lunch when they didn’t have their card in a sandwich shop, donate regularly etc. but I once saw a security guard ushering a homeless woman out of a food shop, and another person in the queue stood up for her, asked her for her basket and paid for that and a few extra things. It really stuck with me and encouraged me to do more. There are some really nice people out there ❤️

There is a woman in our town who randomly pays for people's shopping , it tends to be small bits and usually kids from what I can make out on fb. One woman was so grateful the other week she sent her son to Sainsbury's with her last tenner for a week and this woman stepped in and paid it .

But if they are asking chances are they need it. Can you imagine how hard it must be to ask someone to go and buy food for you?

I guess it depends on people's motivations -if they want the warm fuzzies of "rescuing" someone when they won't ask for help or if they genuinely just want to help make sure everyone is fed.

@ImustLearn2Cook I agree. Don't go buying stuff for kids

Right they might have just been having a bit. Anyway I think that's a bit cheeky of you tbh. The parents have said no, and you've swooped in there and got it for them. It's not an essential item, the parents have to teach their kids some how that they can't afford everything in life they want. I would be quite pissed off with you tbh if you did that to me.

The danger is it becomes about tgeperson doing it not the receiver
id be mortified especially if someone filmed it or told about it in fb

I once paid for a woman's things in the local spar as it was just after the deadline for using the paper £5 notes and she didn't have anything else, no purse etc had just popped to get some yoghurt and bits. The assistant wouldn't accept her note and she seemed quite upset by the situation, so I paid for her bits she had and she was very grateful, asked where I lived/take my number so she could pay me back, I refused and just asked her to help someone else in future if she ever had the chance.

Not exactly the same but in my weekly shop was a packet of Biscoff biscuits and the chap at the next till pointed them out to his wife, joking how she never got them. I told him that they were the last pack-which they were-and he seemed really disappointed and we had a bit of a chat about biscuits. They reminded me of my grandparents and when they were talking to the checkout person to pay I popped them in one of their shopping bags to find when they unpacked their shopping..

Another time I paid for a young woman's dinner at the restaurant in the travelodge we were staying at, shewas alone and had her leg in plaster and was on crutches and her card wouldn't work in the chip and pin (before contactless) the waiter told her she would have to walk into town to use the nearest cash machine. I was waiting to pay, so I asked if I could pay for her dinner and add it to my bill, she was so thankful and offered me her business card in case I ever wanted anything in the future, she was a performer with hoops and dancing. I'm glad she enjoyed her risotto that evening 🙂

I’d had some really bad news one day and took my little boy out for some food just so we could get out of the house. When I asked for the bill, the waitress told me the lady who had been sat opposite me with her grandchildren had paid my bill for me. She pointed to her out of the window as she was just leaving. I never got to say thank you but I was so overwhelmed by her kindness. She didn’t know me and didn’t know how rough that day had been for me. I often think about her.

Did similar recently, in Lisbon, was with my 2 closest friends, only one left to go back to the hotel early, after a huge dinner, feeling unwell. We were in a bar late drinking, talking to a young English couple. They were so young, in love, lovely, we paid for their drinks bill.

Love the idea of telling the recipient to pay it forward one day if they insist on wanting to pay it back.

DH paid for an elderly lady’s shopping during the first lockdown. The supermarket was card only and the lady only had cash and was at customer services getting really upset.

Yup.

And if you're going to do it don't go round telling everyone how amazing you are

That's really nice

I was once behind a middle aged woman at the till who tried to do a runner with a packet of sliced ham and a few tins of cat food. The cashier rung it up and she bagged it and shot out of the shop.

The security guards ran after her and pinned her to a car and they called the police. Whole shop came to a standstill to watch.

Her shopping came to less than a fiver. I offered to pay but was refused as 'a crime had been committed .'

Poor woman. She must have been desperate.

The smallest of gestures perhaps, but I was on a bus during the really bad weather recently when a young Mum got on with her 3 young kids. Her card was declined a couple of times for the £2 fare, and the driver tried to make then get off. She was distraught, they’d waited nearly an hour in the snow, trying to get to the walk in centre as one of the kids was sick.

I paid the fare, and gave the driver some choice words about decency. Maybe she was pulling a fast one, who knows, but it was £2 ffs! I didn’t really have £2 to spare, but how can anybody leave a young family shivering at the side of the road?

Perhaps the only sad thing was I think I made her cry more than she already was. 🙈

People have been there for me at some of my most difficult times and I know just how much I’d have appreciated that if I had been in that position. Sometimes life sucks, and sometimes random strangers really do make all the difference.

That could be down to the companies training and policies though or she could do the same thing every day. So you've made the drivers day a bit shitter. Still, that is a good idea - if you see someone about to be refused to get on the bus the offer to pay.

I paid for someone's parking once, not a big amount, but their phone wasn't being accepted, so I just paid it for them

I love this 😊

I’ve paid someone’s train fare. There was a ticket inspector who made a beeline for this young mum with two small children. She asked if she could pay a bit with the cash she had and the rest on her card as there wasn’t much in her account.

She handed him the card while she counted out her change and he did the whole transaction on the card which was obv declined. Which he loudly announced so the whole carriage could hear.

He was an arsehole who seemed to enjoy her embarrassment and discomfort 😡

Brilliant!

There is the possibility of hurting someone's pride, I think better to donate money and or/time to organisations that provide such help, such as food banks. Wish none of it was ever necessary, but that is not going to change soon.

I am always reminded of the young woman, a few years ago , who was 20p short of her bus fare and was turfed off the last bus. She walked home and was murdered. She had held the bus up while she searched her bag to find the extra money but nobody offered to help. I was at the next checkout to a woman who was trying to buy baby milk and I think her card was declined. She was in tears and went to walk away when the elderly man behind her insisted he pay for it .