To Pay for a Strangers Shopping?

[NameChangeAgainandAgainandAgain]

I've name changed for this ...

There's a truly lovely thread on Chat called "What is the most memorable moment you shared with a stranger who you never saw again?".

There are many stories about the kindness of complete strangers and what a difference they have made to their life.

Some stories are incredibly moving and talk about how strangers have helped out when, for instance, a loved one has died.

Other stories talk about how a stranger has helped when things have been tough financially.

I know times are hard and reading all the posts has made me think that I'd like to, perhaps, pay for someone's basket of shopping in the supermarket, their petrol or buy someone a coffee etc.

Having read the impact this sort of thing has had on people, and how they remember it so many years on, I'd like to do this rather than donate as such.

How do you do this without being condescending or insulting? And how do you know who to do it to?

I wouldn't want any thanks as I'd probably run off quickly as I'd be embarrassed!

I did this during Christmas one year. An old woman put all of the things to the side that she couldn’t afford. I paid for them and said happy Christmas. It’s not how it is on YouTube - the whole “I want to pay for your shopping” and then filming the whole thing while everyone cries. You pay, hand them the bag and walk away. It’s not a big deal - don’t make it a big deal.

I once paid for a homeless woman’s accommodation and groceries. She was trying to save money for a backpackers. I gave her money so she didn’t have to keep begging and bought her a meal and some drinks and snacks. Again, don’t make it a big deal.

Some cafes allow you to pay for "suspended" coffees (or soup, sandwiches etc), which can then be requested by someone who needs them.

The only time I've ever been behind someone who didn't have enough money, it was a very well known politician. I gave him the money and he promised to repay but never did!

I think anonymous is best. I don't like the idea of someone paying for my shopping etc as it feels very public and I wouldn't be quite sure what to do. But I have paid for things on behalf of someone anonymously - for example my daughter does a hobby and I knew from chatting to another mum that they had had a bad few months and she was feeling stressed about money. So I contacted the organisers and paid her monthly fees, making sure they wouldn't tell her who had done it. I think it was a good way to help her because she would never have accepted if I had offered her help. But at the same time she knew people were listening and cared about her and her child, without wanting to make it public or take any credit

I've paid bus fares or made up the change, and that's happened to me too. It's not much money but can make an impact.
I also had a meal paid for once by a stranger, me and Dsis went out not long after we'd lost our DM and we were laughing. crying, the lot.
When we went to pay someone had left a note saying, Sorry for your loss, always cherish each other, and picked up the entire bill.
Still no idea who that was, and the server just said it was an older couple.

I have been behind kids at tills who were buying sweets and realised they didnt have enough money and I have payed.
Remember walking past some kids in a shop who were picking snacks up and saying we only need another 20p for this.....I gave them a £1.

But I feel sad about the time I didn't do anything.
Going back a lot of years me,DH and my sons were just finishing eating in Burger King ,Blackpool Pleasure Beach.
Four teenage lads came at sat at the next table.
Three unpacked their food and drinks while one sat with nothing.
I will never know if he just didnt want anything or that he had no spare money .

One of the summer season 'exam invigilator ' staff at school donates his entire earnings to the welfare team to use 'as they see fit' - a few hundred £ each year, over a number of years. He will never know what enormous benefit his kindness has given to students in the most awful circumstances (and they don't know who their helper is either).

I once went in to the petrol kiosk to pay to find a harrassed mum in tears as her card wouldn't work and her kids were screaming in the people carrier at the pump - the petrol station staff were so unsympathetic. I paid her petrol, aware her promise to repay may be empty, and a couple of hours later she was on my doorstep with the money and flowers.

A reminder most people are lovely...

I'd like to do something like this too.

For those saying it's self congratulatory, the OP has said they would probably run off.

I think the point of doing it this way, rather than a food bank, is that it's much more personal and could make the receiver feel that there are people out there who care for them when their luck is down?

I did this once. A teenage boy in front of me was trying to buy a sandwich and drink and had to leave it as he didn't have enough money (or maybe his card was declined, can't remember) and I bought the stuff and gave it to him as he was hanging around outside with his mates. I think I just said "here's your stuff" or something and he looked at me like I'd come from another planet 😆which I'd consider pretty mild given his age and the fact he was with his pals.
I just thought if it was my daughter (not a teenager yet!) I'd be sad if she couldn't buy something to eat and drink

Oh also was at a Designer Outlet once and Hotel Chocolat had reduced loads of boxes to a couple of quid. Was talking to the people working in another shop and they said something like "ooh hope there's some left when it's our break time"; so we went back to to HC grabbed some more boxes and took them back to them. It really made their day 😊

Two instances of strangers being kind:

My mother who was 85 at the time and has a form of dementia forgot her purse one day when out shopping. All her purchases were on the conveyer belt at the till when she realised. She said she was sorry and would nip home and get some money, but some kind chap in the queue behind her insisted on paying for her shopping. It was around £20.00. I put a post up on FB about someone being really kind paying for her shopping and manged to trace the chap. He declined repayment when I offered and so I FB his wife who I managed to trace and said I'd drop him some money around but she declined as well (probably didn't want to give out her address) so I popped some money in a charity tin instead.

Years before this, when Mum had been diagnosed with cancer (which was caught early and successfully treated) I was working in Birmingham City Centre and stopped at the shop next to the train station and picked out some flowers and took them to the till. A chap behind me in the queue asked me if they were for a friends birthday, I replied they were for my Mum as she'd just been diagnosed with cancer and he picked up another bunch, paid for them and caught me as I was going out the door and said "these are for your Mum, I hope she feels better soon". I thought what a lovely kind caring person he was. I half expected to see him on the train on the way home but didn't.

I just do things like that without planning it, if you know what I mean.
I was in a Subway and an elderly woman couldn't understand the menu. She only really wanted tea and toast. I took her to a cafe around the corner and ordered her tea and toast. I then paid for it and left to go back to work.

I've paid for people on the bus who had no change, or their cards didn't work.

Last week I spotted a woman trying to lift a heavy shopping bag into her car and went over to help her. She was delighted. Two minutes later I tried to get a trolley but my token wouldn't work, and a stranger came over and handed me 50c to use. I find that doing little nice things, goes around.

This is really lovely.
I was in similar circumstances as a young teen - I'd part-paid for a summer camp with St John Ambulance, but lost my Saturday job (not my fault, the shop changed hands & used their own family to staff it) & couldnt pay the rest. My mum was struggling as a single parent to make ends meet & we'd narrowly escaped homelessness so i couldn't ask her for it. I'd done a lot of voluntary hours for the group, & my cadet leader kindly funded the remaining amount for me so I didn't miss out. I've never forgotten that kindness.

My dad had dementia before he died a few years ago. One evening he went missing - walked out of the house, hopped on a bus and ended up the other side of the city. We reported him missing but in the meantime he hailed a taxi to pick him up and the driver realised almost immediately that he had alzheimers and brought him to the nearest police station where they had the report of him missing. My mam spoke to the driver later when he was returned and it turned out that one of his parents was similar and he recognised the signs almost immediately. My mam wanted to reward / pay his fare or do something but he wasn't having any of it - he was just glad to help. Absolutely lovely gent.

Was at a restaurant/bar that had an outside seating area along a river walk a mother with 3-ish kids sat down and was listening to the music. It wasn’t too late but probably 7pm or a little later. I overheard their conversation and they were killing time before their bus came. (In the US, in my area bus ridership isn’t the norm, so it’s usually those who are on the lower end of income use public transportation)

The kids were a bit whiny (but not obnoxious) It sounded like they were hungry … the mom looked at the menu and said they’d eat when they got home. The kids looked sad but didn’t argue.

We had already ordered dinner but I went in and ordered cheeseburgers and milk for the lot of them and asked the server to not point us out. They got the milk but left before the food came. Luckily by this time we had finished dinner and were also getting ready to leave when they brought out the food, we just grabbed it and caught up with the family. I said they had delivered the food right after they left. The mom said she hadn’t ordered anything. So I just said I wasn’t sure, the server was looking for you with this and we were leaving so we offered to catch you and then I shrugged.

It was probably the most unbelievable lie I’ve ever come up with.

After we got the car and we were driving away we saw them at the bus stop and the kids were eating with enthusiasm.

@tickychicky
Right they might have just been having a bit. Anyway I think that's a bit cheeky of you tbh. The parents have said no, and you've swooped in there and got it for them.

Sorry, I'm not as presumptions as you appear to be.
After the children had stood in front of me in the queue choosing their flavours & then hear the parents say sorry, it was too expensive, I discreetly (so children not aware) asked the parents if they'd like me to buy cones for the children - they said 'yes, please, that would be lovely'.
I was sitting at a table outside the ice cream parlour, they were on the grass a few metres away - it takes even me quite a long time to eat £8 worth of ice cream, so I was able to observe the parents consuming the ice creams for quite a while.
And hear the kids screaming, presumably at still not any getting ice cream.

A €5 note I found on the ground has been making up people’s change for a few years now.

I have too many bags for life and offer them to people in front of me at the till if they’re struggling.

My local supermarket gave out vouchers “€5 off your €30 shop next week’. The OAP in front of me spent €35 and didn’t have a voucher so I asked the cashier to take one of mine.

Especially when the kids piggy banks have already been emptied 🙈

I like to pay for the person behind at the drive thru at Starbucks so do that quite a bit
Bought a magazine for a child who wanted it but mum said it was too expensive, done that with a balloon too
Pay for chocolates for emergency services (if they're filling up at a garage I'll pay and ask the cashier to pass them on or pop them on the windscreen) or just a thank you/have a lovely day post it especially for ambulance at the minute

Trying to think of other stuff! I don't film it/post it and a lot of my friends do it too

A friend has a business which one day a week she turns into a pet food bank so something like that is good to donate to (I take the cat food my cat has rejected...)

Local business delivers any of their left over cake to the children's unit or a&e at the local hospital. I drop magazines and pens in sometimes (they're always short of pens) to a ward that looked after me

Most dog rescues will accept old towels, if you're an animal person then volunteering to walk rescue dogs is so rewarding

In ikea restaurant queue, two older gentlemen behind me were having a debate about who’s turn
it was to pay for the tea and dime bar cake that week. It was
honestly comical listening to them trying to agree who was paying so I quietly paid for my items and both of theirs. The cashier gave me a wink and I went and sat down.
The gentlemen came over and we had a wonderful 30min chat. I told them next week, no fighting!
it probably brightened my day more than theirs really!

I randomly seemed to attract a fair amount of teenage girls (at different times) asking if I could buy them a can of pop, or some water when I was buying my own kids a drink in parks etc last summer. Different parks. Different areas.

it was very bizarre. Never been asked before… but it was very, very hot so I did buy them.

Also last year in the heatwave my children made friends with another family at the beach who were there for a few days like us.

The last day the family insisted we share their chippy meal with them. I didn’t tell them, and just said my husband was working but at the time I was having trouble with him, and we had a break to get away for a bit. Just to get away from the negative atmosphere and arguments. I’ll never forget that kindness. It was very special. Lovely kindhearted family. I don’t think they knew it but it meant the world to me as I was feeling very self conscious on my own.

^^ actually welling up now thinking about it. I am very grateful for such kind hearted people. It gave me a boost to realise I could do it alone and start the process of leaving him.

^^ what I’m trying to say is that you never know how your actions will touch another persons soul. Just be yourself. Be kind where you can. You might already have had an impact on someone and not know. I’m positive the family I talked about didn’t know how I was feeling. I didn’t tell them. But I will always remember their kindness 💕

About 20 years ago, just before Christmas, it was snowing hard and very cold. On a whim, as I was head-down, heading for the train on my last day of work, I bought a great big padded jacket from GAP and handed the bag to the man who had sold the Big Issue to me all year, who stood opposite the GAP store.

He was a nice guy, we chatted often, he was bloody freezing and it was Christmas!