Primary school won't allow packed lunches

[NotABeliever]

DD is in Y5 at primary school (private, not sure if this is relevant). She has a long-standing health condition, so far undiagnosed, which means that three times a week on average she vomits for several hours, usually in the afternoon after coming back from school but not exclusively. We have been referred to Paediatrics over 9 months ago but no appointment has been made and her condition is managed by her GP while we wait for a consultant appointment. It is a worrying and distressing situation for both DD and myself.

GP does not think it is a food intolerance but can't rule it out. All we know for sure is that she vomits more frequently if she's stressed, dyhydrated, tired or if she eats fatty/greasy foods. She does not have any other underlying condition and seems otherwise perfectly healthy.

Since coming back to school after the Christmas break, she has already had two episodes of prolonged and violent vomiting after school. It made me wonder what if something she eats at school doesn't agree with her so I sent her in with a packed lunch yesterday to make sure she had easily digestable foods. I gave her a ham sandwich , a yogurt, a banana and two plane rice cakes in her lunch box.

Next thing I know, the Head emails me to say that the school doesn't allow packed lunches but if DD has dietary requirements, the catering company can try to accommodate her.

I replied explaining the above and asking for a few more days of letting her have a packed lunch to avoid fatty foods. I explained that it's not as easy as ruling out certain foods, unfortunately, because we don't have a diagnosis. I asked them to trust my judgement and to allow her to have packed lunches until the end of the week.

Incredibly, I received a reply from another senior teacher telling me my request has been declined and DD won't be allowed packed lunches "despite a presenting medical need, unless guidance from a dietician to this effect is received by the school".

Children bring their own snacks for mid-morning and after-school activities, and although nuts are quite understandably barred, they are free to bring anything else they want into school to have as a snack. Therefore, the argument the senior teacher made that my DD bringing a packed lunch increases "exposure to known allergens for other children" is utterly ridiculous.

AIBU for disagreeing with this policy? I genuinely would like to hear what other parents think and what I should be doing next. Thank you.

I'm amazed your daughters been there for 5? years and you've never realised that you can't take pack lunches. You've never noticed no other child has ever walked in with a lunch box?

What are school feeding them that it's greasy and fatty? State school here is a deprived area of the Black Country. The cake is sugar free, the chips are oven baked, there may be stuff like sausage or pizza on odd days but there's always other options so if my 10yo knew he wasn't allowed sausage he would pick something else. I can't believe that a private school is serving up greasy, fatty food.

However, can you get a dietician online? Someone who could provide a HEALTHY elimination diet and then provide school with the plan so they can provide appropriate meals?

@TheOrigRights

That confirms my suspicions as to why packed lunches are banned!
So far on this thread, I haven't seen any other valid reasons for packed lunches not being allowed.

Thats insane!

No you are not being unreasonable, you should be entitled to feed your own child if you choose to do so! WE are responsible for their overall health and well being, not the school, and WE are accountable for what our children consume, and the consequences of doing so.

Having experienced a child with allergies what an impossible position that leaves you in with regards to diagnoses, you have my sympathy!

Get a letter from the dr and sock it to them!

At what age did your DS start getting the espsodes of vomiting? Wa he also having a migraine? How was he diagnosed? Did he eventually grow out of it?

I'd just reply.

"Thankyou for agreeing to provide the food she can eat.

As you may have seen via her packed lunch currently it's a ham sandwich, rice cakes, banana and yogurt.

I'll let you know when we have any more safe foods on her list and keep you informed of any updates re seeing consultant."

I know posters are trying to help, but it's not that helpful to advise elimination diets without a diagnosis.

Being sick after eating may be nothing to do with the type of food.

It could be - as the GP said- more an anxiety based issue (maybe some lessons she doesn't like on those days, or friendship issues, or anything.)

It could be something to do with her gut alignment - a form of reflux, caused by a misshapen stomach or valves in the stomach so it's not emptying properly. or something not right with the intestines.

She really needs an examination with an endoscopy/ gastroscopy/ ultrasound to rule out mechanical issues, then see what's what.

Cutting out large food groups is not recommended for anyone, especially children, without a diagnosis.

My daughter had abdominal migraines and had similar issues after her evening meal.

It does make a difference that it’s private school. Most private schools, my son’s included won’t allow packed lunches and you are being VERY unreasonable to not make appointment to discuss the situation with them before you sent one in.

She was given a medication that prevented the migraines.

I’d talk to the school about what exactly you want your DD to have for lunches.

I would expect them to be able to accommodate something simple like “a ham sandwich , a yogurt, a banana and two plane rice cakes”.

My DC went to a private primary school for a few years, and school dinners were also compulsory there. I don’t know why.
However, when we had an issue with DC1 refusing to eat most of the school dinner options, the school were very flexible in offering simple alternative meal options like sandwiches and jacket potatoes. And that was without a medical condition like the one you described your DD having.

I’m sure you know this already but is she being assessed for CVS - Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome?
My friend’s child had this but they didn’t know what it was for quite a while if I remember. Once they knew, it was much easier to restrict her diet so she wasn’t being sick constantly.

Your DD’s school are discriminating against her. Have your GP write to them explaining she’s undergoing assessments.

He was diagnosed with stomach migraine aged around 7 or 8 but he’d had episodes since he was a toddler. We though he was getting stomach bugs, travel sickness etc at first and it was a real pain because he was having to have 48 hours off after each occasion in case it was infectious. Once he was diagnosed we worked out a lot of the triggers and worked hard to eliminate them. Eventually he grew out of it when he was a teenager although he is still an anxious person.

It's weird, you'd think the school catering team would be glad not to have to make one special meal for a pupil and that the parent is willing to provide a packed lunch.

You can sit nicely at a table and converse politely and still eat a sandwich!

I have heard before that private schools don't allow packed lunches (and obviously charge extra for meals - it's another hidden cost you have to consider with private schools).

I disagree. Maybe the OP should have told (not asked) the school first, but it's hardly "very unreasonable", given the circumstances.

Cutting out large food groups is not recommended for anyone, especially children, without a diagnosis

it isn't but that wasn't what the OP did

I know this isn't the point but has FPIES been looked into .
Hope you get things sorted

Did she have a virus or illness just before it started. Has she been tested for celiac disease? My partner didn't develop it until his 30s after a nast case of flu. You are predisposed from birth but an illness or stressful event can trigger it so you may be fine until then.

Unfortunately, it doesn't say that they've agreed, only that they CAN try to accommodate DD.

In my experience of Private schools packed lunches are not an option. However, they usually have quite a few options and will cater to needs, so hopefully no need for her to have fatty foods, don't they have a salad bar?

Our (private) school doesn't allow packed lunches either.

I think it's a stupid rule.

Pick her up at lunch and take her back afterwards.

Thank you. Did it peak at around 9/10 years of age?
My DD also has been vomiting lots since being a toddler. I remember coming back from a holiday and she was throwing up multiple.times while we were waiting to have our passports checked. Nightmare. No one else in the family was sick.
So yes it's always happened but in the last year it's been worse.
Strange because as a baby she wasn't particularly sickly.

What is FPIES?

Has it taken until Y5 to get a referral?