Primary school won't allow packed lunches

[NotABeliever]

DD is in Y5 at primary school (private, not sure if this is relevant). She has a long-standing health condition, so far undiagnosed, which means that three times a week on average she vomits for several hours, usually in the afternoon after coming back from school but not exclusively. We have been referred to Paediatrics over 9 months ago but no appointment has been made and her condition is managed by her GP while we wait for a consultant appointment. It is a worrying and distressing situation for both DD and myself.

GP does not think it is a food intolerance but can't rule it out. All we know for sure is that she vomits more frequently if she's stressed, dyhydrated, tired or if she eats fatty/greasy foods. She does not have any other underlying condition and seems otherwise perfectly healthy.

Since coming back to school after the Christmas break, she has already had two episodes of prolonged and violent vomiting after school. It made me wonder what if something she eats at school doesn't agree with her so I sent her in with a packed lunch yesterday to make sure she had easily digestable foods. I gave her a ham sandwich , a yogurt, a banana and two plane rice cakes in her lunch box.

Next thing I know, the Head emails me to say that the school doesn't allow packed lunches but if DD has dietary requirements, the catering company can try to accommodate her.

I replied explaining the above and asking for a few more days of letting her have a packed lunch to avoid fatty foods. I explained that it's not as easy as ruling out certain foods, unfortunately, because we don't have a diagnosis. I asked them to trust my judgement and to allow her to have packed lunches until the end of the week.

Incredibly, I received a reply from another senior teacher telling me my request has been declined and DD won't be allowed packed lunches "despite a presenting medical need, unless guidance from a dietician to this effect is received by the school".

Children bring their own snacks for mid-morning and after-school activities, and although nuts are quite understandably barred, they are free to bring anything else they want into school to have as a snack. Therefore, the argument the senior teacher made that my DD bringing a packed lunch increases "exposure to known allergens for other children" is utterly ridiculous.

AIBU for disagreeing with this policy? I genuinely would like to hear what other parents think and what I should be doing next. Thank you.

That's a good idea. I might do that and see what happens before taking this further

My kids didn't go to private schools, so I have no real knowledge as to how they operate.
Nonetheless, I'm shocked that they can ban packed lunches.
Why is this?
The cynic in me would suspect it's because they want the income from school lunches - am I right?
If not, what valid reasons are there for this rule?
Are state, and/or voluntary-aided schools able to ban packed lunches too?

Can you take her out of school at lunchtime? Then take her back for the afternoon

@NotABeliever Have you thought about Childhood migraines?..These can cause vomiting without headache {oddly enough} in young children.

I hope you find a cause , soon, and that the vomiting eases.

This. Just send them a list of exactly what she can eat and ask them to get the catering company to provide these foods. They've offered to do the work, take them up on it.

I have no idea. The school dinners are included in the fees so it is not a financial reason for sure.

My DS was like this for several years. Eventually we cut out dairy and he stopped completely. The school is being ridiculous.

[sorry, can't quote]
Of course compulsory lunches have a financial benefit to the school, and will be part of the fees. If they didn't include lunches then the fees would be less.

As I said, we don't have private paediatric consultant within 50 Miles. Private hospital yes. Private paediatric doctor no.

I'm wondering why you need a paediatric dr?
This is a gastro issue.

When my DS had a possible health issue (related to diet we thought) I booked with a consultant who was an expert in food allergies, who saw children and adults.

I don't know why you can't start with a consultant gastroenterologist and take it from there.

Your DD must be around 10, so not a baby.

Why are you thinking it has to be a paediatrician- is this your GP saying this?

@NotABeliever I see someone else mentioned migraines and another ''Cyclical vomiting'' which can also be linked to migraines,
It is distressing to suffer from this..I am an emetophobe now because of vomiting so much as a child, {Undiagnosed} but in older childhood auras began and migraine was diagnosed.

I have empathy for your poor daughter.
There can sometimes be a genetic component to migraine, if you or your husband suffer , it's definitely a route I'd explore.

The catering company will provide something suitable if you give them some guidance. Make an appointment to see the Head and work with the school.

My kids don’t go to private but I did for secondary. You sit together in a dining hall for lunches. It is not acceptable to have someone pull out a packed lunch at a restaurant. Neither is doing that at the dining room. I have kids in state primary and secondary and they don’t even have dining halls that can fit all students and staff.

Also private school meals are nothing like state schools. I follow a chef on social media who works in a boarding school. The meals they make are amazing. I’m sure they can cater for the OP dietary requirements. She’s really just asking for nothing oily. They can do sandwiches and pasta salads or similar. The head teacher offered to work with the parent too. This again is nothing like state.

Just adding to my previous post.

With conditions like this, it's going to be a case of eliminating lots of things to find the right diagnosis.

You need to start somewhere. Paediatricians treat 'the whole child' but they won't be an expert in gastro issues necessarily, and my guess is they will refer on to other specialists.

It's just my opinion, but I think you may be wasting time waiting for that dr when another dr could be helpful, either locally or by going to London.

I think they should make an allowance for your daughter. If they won't back down you could request a jacket potato so it's nice and bland for now

They haven't, really.
"if DD has dietary requirements, the catering company can try to accommodate her."
What happens if a) they choose not to try, or b) they can't?

From what I’ve heard a “no packed lunches” rule is quite common in private schools.

However would a first step be to get a letter form the GP setting out what IS known so far?

Otherwise as a pp said, request a jacket potato or something that is extremely plain

I would consider if your child is suffering from stomach migraines. My youngest was diagnosed with these after many episodes of stomach pain and vomiting. He used to go extremely pale before an attack and it was linked to stress or even to certain smells or chemicals - like chlorine in swimming pools always set him off. It took a while to get diagnosed as it wasn’t anything I had come across before, although I and his sisters do suffer from more normal migraines.

Consultants for adults don't see children, normally.

Absolutely ridiculous policy!

@SnowAndFrostOutside

Interesting, 'though at my kids' primary and secondary schools, the halls used for dining were roomy enough for kids eating school OR packed lunches. They still ate and socialised together.
And the analogy vis-a-vis restaurants is not relevant - a child HAS to go to school or be home-schooled, but does not HAVE to go to a restaurant.

Sorry but that is incorrect. We've used private health care for 35 years.

My DS saw two consultants when he was 7. One was an orthopaedic surgeon, the other was an immunologist.

Your DD is 10- she's almost reaching puberty and not a baby.

Why take it out on the catering department they aren't the ones enforcing they work on behalf of whatever contractors the school have chosen.It is that spite that make our life harder in a school kitchen when we already do our best to cater to all needs.

This thread has been so useful. I really think it might be abdominal migraines/cyclic vomiting syndrome. Before tonight I'd never even heard of these. I wonder why the GP didn't mention them?
Is a headache always present though? She sometimes does have a headache but not at other times.