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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend has pulled out of holiday the day before we are due to fly out

464 replies

OkIy · 11/01/2023 14:50

Hi,

I have had a ski holiday booked with my friend for the last six weeks. She is a bit flaky but I’ve never been in this position with her. I thought she was being unusually vague about the details and my suspicions have been confirmed today.

She has just texted me saying she doesn’t think she can’t come as she has pulled a muscle during yoga earlier this week and it’s too painful. I was with her last night and there didn’t seem anything wrong with her. I think she is either making this up or is really exaggerating (she can be a bit of a hypochondriac sometimes).

I thought she had been dropping hints she might not be able to come but I triple checked before the cut off for no refunds came. She told me to go ahead.

I have paid for everything and it’s nonrefundable (we have done this multiple times in the past with no issues so I wasn’t being overly naive). I haven’t discussed this aspect with her yet as I am too upset. We are meant to fly out tomorrow.

I am not sure what to do. My birthday is on Friday as well. It wasn’t originally envisioned as a birthday weekend just a cheapish off peak break :(

OP posts:
Withmayo · 13/01/2023 08:28

That’s lovely. Well done. Enjoy your holiday with your Mum.

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 13/01/2023 09:49

I’m so glad you went on your holiday op. I hope you have a fab time.

I had a friend similar. She was flakey sue to her own anxiety/social issues. However I had to end the friendship eventually because the impact on me of being continually let down wasn’t worth the friendship.

At the end of the day it’s totally understandable for people to have their own issues (financial, mental health whatever) but that doesn’t stop their behaviour being hurtful to others especially when it’s like this. She obviously knew she wouldn’t be coming for a while but chose to leave it until the last minute to tell you. That’s so unfair

gettingthere17 · 13/01/2023 10:35

she's not a real friend get the money from her then cut all ties with her -

honeylulu · 13/01/2023 10:54

Happy birthday!!! I'm so glad you're on your holiday. Hope your friend paid what you agreed. I would be inclined to hold her at arm's length from now on, even if you don't ditch her completely. I'd definitely be booking no more trips with her!

MrKlaw · 13/01/2023 10:55

good to know you went OP. What I can't quite understand is why the friend couldn't open up to you earlier. You even said you checked in multiple times before the cut off for refunds and she assured things were fine.

Probably just unfortunate head in the sand behaviour we've all succumbed to occasionally but she'll know it'll affect the both of you so should have spoken up.

Hopefully this doesn't cloud the friendship - it seems like you've been doing this for a while ok. Bit more clarity on payment maybe would help like getting the other half's share a week before refund window closes to help bring out any issues?

BouncerFish · 13/01/2023 11:05

just popping up, a bit late it seems, to say something similar happened to me. A friend pulled out of a long haul trip with two days to go… so my mum stepped in. We had an amazing time and it’s a trip I will always remember.

We also sorted the finances and it is something I got over. I could understand the reasons, if not the way, my friend pulled out.

Have a lovely trip x

whynotwhatknot · 13/01/2023 11:51

glad you got to go-surely your so called friend knew about financial issues six weeks ago

terrible to strng you along like that

have a good holiday

ToWhitToWhoo · 13/01/2023 17:41

Well, at least that's a good update for you and your mum- hope you have a great holiday.

Delatron · 13/01/2023 17:50

So lovely your Mum could step in - hope you had a great birthday.

I would struggle to forgive the friend. She could have mentioned this weeks/months ago. And you did check with her. Cancelling the night before is so bad. I’d have to back off the friendship. But you know her best. Also the pulled muscle lie. Doesn’t have to be a big fall out/drama but I would no longer consider her a friend.

Emotionalsupportviper · 13/01/2023 19:41

OkIy · 12/01/2023 22:30

Hi,

This thread really blew up. Apologies for not updating sooner and thanks to everyone for their concern.

Yes, I am on my holiday.

My friend admitted there were some financial issues she hadn’t disclosed whilst still maintaining she has genuinely injured herself. We have sorted out the finances between ourselves. I’ve gone with my lovely mum instead, although she isn’t much of a skier and she had to book fresh flights with a different airline, the holiday hasn’t gone to waste. We have just got back to the hotel after a lovely evening out.

I am not really sure how I feel towards my friend atm but it’s not going to spoil the holiday.

Thanks again for the support offered in this thread.

Good - glad you are having a lovely time and that finances were sorted out to your satisfaction.

What a pity she didn't have the sense (and consideration) to tell you she couldn't afford to when you were still able to cancel without penalties.

Jo586 · 14/01/2023 18:02

Charge the scammy little so and so. Cheeky little thing.

Katekeeprunning · 14/01/2023 18:13

I’m delighted you went and are having a great time x

Carlycat · 14/01/2023 19:02

Excellent update. Have a great time with your mum and Happy Birthday 🥳 x

I'd struggle to forgive the 'friend' 😞

Greengagesnfennel · 14/01/2023 21:46

Hurray for your lovely mum.

Happy birthday.

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