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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend has pulled out of holiday the day before we are due to fly out

464 replies

OkIy · 11/01/2023 14:50

Hi,

I have had a ski holiday booked with my friend for the last six weeks. She is a bit flaky but I’ve never been in this position with her. I thought she was being unusually vague about the details and my suspicions have been confirmed today.

She has just texted me saying she doesn’t think she can’t come as she has pulled a muscle during yoga earlier this week and it’s too painful. I was with her last night and there didn’t seem anything wrong with her. I think she is either making this up or is really exaggerating (she can be a bit of a hypochondriac sometimes).

I thought she had been dropping hints she might not be able to come but I triple checked before the cut off for no refunds came. She told me to go ahead.

I have paid for everything and it’s nonrefundable (we have done this multiple times in the past with no issues so I wasn’t being overly naive). I haven’t discussed this aspect with her yet as I am too upset. We are meant to fly out tomorrow.

I am not sure what to do. My birthday is on Friday as well. It wasn’t originally envisioned as a birthday weekend just a cheapish off peak break :(

OP posts:
Pelsall116 · 12/01/2023 18:38

I would go ahead on my own and demand that she pays her share. Then I would find some new friends and dump her, she sounds a bloody waste of space and oxygen to me.....

StarCourt · 12/01/2023 18:43

really hope OP is on her holiday.

amassiveoverthinker · 12/01/2023 18:51

TestingTestingWonTooFree · Yesterday 14:53
Perhaps I’d message and say, “sorry you’re in pain. It’s too late to cancel the holiday, you’ll still have to pay your share. On that basis, why don’t you come anyway, even if you don’t ski? Take painkillers and see if you can book a massage over there? It might help”

Totally this it's not pushy it's factual and of course she doesn't have to ski - she can't say no to that

eastegg · 12/01/2023 18:59

Applesandcarrots · 12/01/2023 18:12

Yetti

Show quote history

What do you mean?

glowfrog · 12/01/2023 18:59

If you have insurance, pls ask her to get a doctor's note so you can make a claim for her share. Depends on the cancellation insurance terms, of course.

bridgetreilly · 12/01/2023 19:00

Just tell her that she has to pay her half whether or not she comes.

eastegg · 12/01/2023 19:01

Withmayo · 12/01/2023 18:32

Get your money back from her and do you have another friend who might be able to go at short notice? If she can’t go she can’t but she really needs to pay up. Whatever happens try to enjoy this break on your own and make friends there! Good luck

Very short notice!! The OP was due to go today

Grrrrdarling · 12/01/2023 19:03

OkIy · 11/01/2023 14:50

Hi,

I have had a ski holiday booked with my friend for the last six weeks. She is a bit flaky but I’ve never been in this position with her. I thought she was being unusually vague about the details and my suspicions have been confirmed today.

She has just texted me saying she doesn’t think she can’t come as she has pulled a muscle during yoga earlier this week and it’s too painful. I was with her last night and there didn’t seem anything wrong with her. I think she is either making this up or is really exaggerating (she can be a bit of a hypochondriac sometimes).

I thought she had been dropping hints she might not be able to come but I triple checked before the cut off for no refunds came. She told me to go ahead.

I have paid for everything and it’s nonrefundable (we have done this multiple times in the past with no issues so I wasn’t being overly naive). I haven’t discussed this aspect with her yet as I am too upset. We are meant to fly out tomorrow.

I am not sure what to do. My birthday is on Friday as well. It wasn’t originally envisioned as a birthday weekend just a cheapish off peak break :(

She still has to pay for her part of the holiday.
Hope you can get someone else to go with you, last minute, & maybe you can recoup some of the cost for her but I certainly wouldn’t be rushing to sort that out!

threatmatrix · 12/01/2023 19:04

She will still have to pay her share

Grrrrdarling · 12/01/2023 19:05

Grrrrdarling · 12/01/2023 19:03

She still has to pay for her part of the holiday.
Hope you can get someone else to go with you, last minute, & maybe you can recoup some of the cost for her but I certainly wouldn’t be rushing to sort that out!

Show quote history

Maybe see if she still wants to come & she can chill at the bar or in a sauna, resting & treating her injury, while you ski

Nicecow · 12/01/2023 19:09

I'd take another friend (for free, youre paying anyway so why not have some company).
Or can't she come anyway and just not ski?

Socksey · 12/01/2023 19:09

Ensure she pays...
Go on your own....
Have a great time

WalkingThroughTreacle · 12/01/2023 19:14

She should have paid her share when you paid for the holiday so why has she not paid it already? I suspect you are going to get screwed, though I'd be seriously tempted to take her to small claims if she does try to wriggle out. In future, with this sort of arrangement, make sure the other parties reimburse you on the day you make payment and no later. Anything else is setting yourself up to be shafted.

MarthaMC · 12/01/2023 19:23

I would be incredibly upset too, if I was your friend even with an actual minor injury I'd still go and keep you company, I think ski passes and equipment rental are easier to cancel than flights. There's really no excuse not to go, such a horrible flakey thing to do I'm so sorry OP! I've been skiing on my own twice albeit in hostels where people are friendly/there's other solo travellers, it's really not so bad. You're on your own schedule, do the runs you want and will be getting early nights anyway (unless you're a young un!). Hope you still enjoy your trip and birthday x

strawbfield · 12/01/2023 19:32

I would message her

Oh that's a shame: Will your insurance cover that? I'm still going. Could you transfer your share? I was banking on that for spenders

Magnoliasunrise · 12/01/2023 19:37

I'm beginning to think we will never be told the outcome to this dilemma.

Ifrozethehoumous · 12/01/2023 19:41

Yeah see if you can find someone to join you - for free - and make her pay her whack.

ImprobablePuffin · 12/01/2023 19:58

Is anyone else starting to think OP might be one of those posters who whips everyone into a frenzy and then disappears??

HelloBunny · 12/01/2023 20:02

Talking on the phone is best.

Mañanarama · 12/01/2023 20:05

ImprobablePuffin · 12/01/2023 19:58

Is anyone else starting to think OP might be one of those posters who whips everyone into a frenzy and then disappears??

Yes, and it should be illegal. I love a concise thread with an imminent solution - this one should have been done and dusted by now!

notimagain · 12/01/2023 20:07

ImprobablePuffin · 12/01/2023 19:58

Is anyone else starting to think OP might be one of those posters who whips everyone into a frenzy and then disappears??

Hopefully it's just a case of the OP having too much on (packing etc ) after the first post yesterday and then of course they will have been travelling today ....maybe between bites of birthday cake they'll have time to update us tomorrow...

sassyclassyandsmartassy · 12/01/2023 20:10

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 11/01/2023 14:53

Perhaps I’d message and say, “sorry you’re in pain. It’s too late to cancel the holiday, you’ll still have to pay your share. On that basis, why don’t you come anyway, even if you don’t ski? Take painkillers and see if you can book a massage over there? It might help”.

This!!! Totally this…

sassyclassyandsmartassy · 12/01/2023 20:14

If she doesn’t pay you and you have a full suite of text messages detailing her agreement to go you put through a money claim online to get the money out of her! At this point she’s no friend. I would never do this to my girlfriends… I would go and just have a good time enjoying the scenery (and the bar)!

bakebeans · 12/01/2023 20:16

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 11/01/2023 14:53

Perhaps I’d message and say, “sorry you’re in pain. It’s too late to cancel the holiday, you’ll still have to pay your share. On that basis, why don’t you come anyway, even if you don’t ski? Take painkillers and see if you can book a massage over there? It might help”.

💯 agree with this. I was going to say the same. Make her aware you want the money even if she doesn't come with you.

RightOnTheEdge · 12/01/2023 20:20

Applesandcarrots · 12/01/2023 18:12

Yetti

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🤣🤣🤣