Friend has pulled out of holiday the day before we are due to fly out

[OkIy]

Hi,

I have had a ski holiday booked with my friend for the last six weeks. She is a bit flaky but I’ve never been in this position with her. I thought she was being unusually vague about the details and my suspicions have been confirmed today.

She has just texted me saying she doesn’t think she can’t come as she has pulled a muscle during yoga earlier this week and it’s too painful. I was with her last night and there didn’t seem anything wrong with her. I think she is either making this up or is really exaggerating (she can be a bit of a hypochondriac sometimes).

I thought she had been dropping hints she might not be able to come but I triple checked before the cut off for no refunds came. She told me to go ahead.

I have paid for everything and it’s nonrefundable (we have done this multiple times in the past with no issues so I wasn’t being overly naive). I haven’t discussed this aspect with her yet as I am too upset. We are meant to fly out tomorrow.

I am not sure what to do. My birthday is on Friday as well. It wasn’t originally envisioned as a birthday weekend just a cheapish off peak break :(

I'd be telling her that you need her half as that is your spending money .

I'd be fuming and not book anything with her again - flakes are the worst.

It shouldnt even be a question that she pays her half regardless, if it is then fuck her off for good.

Terribly flaky. Especially the birthday aspect makes it so much worse.

tell her that since she owes the amount anyway she might as well come and enjoy something else to do rather than lose out.

and if it’s still a no she needs to transfer her half now so you can find sometime else to go or sort other arrangements etc.

Oh dear, that's stressful

If I had been on multiple trips with a friend especially on a skiing holiday I'd have had a discussion about insurance.

Dying for an update!

Yes, perfectly put!

Glad not to disappoint! 😂

I haven't read all of the posts - has undiagnosed adult ADHD or early one dementia been mentioned yet?

*onset - not one

You sound lovely op, I would have snapped by now…

please don’t think this is a reflection on you.

friends do flakey things and there could be all sorts of reasons why she’s flaking.

we have all been let down and in similar spots.

Perhaps she is pregnant and doesn’t want to tell anyone - well s but far fetched but you never know x

I hope you are okay xx 🌸 🌺 🌺 🌸

Given you were with each other yesterday and she didn’t make a big deal of it, I wonder if something else is actually going on in the background and holding her back from wanting to go, other than a pulled muscle and for some reason she’s not wanting to be explicit. Hence:-
I’d initially be messaging her to say:-
Hiya,
Hows’s your shoulder/leg/back (whatever) pain it is?
I do hope it’s much better and you’re up to coming tomorrow even if it’s just to relax and join in Après Ski. I’m so looking forward to it especially as it’s my birthday on Friday. I’ll minimise my ski-ing to spend more time with you.
It would be such a shame to cancel, as I don’t want to go alone and we’d also have to fork out £xxx each despite no holiday. Please let me know in the next hour/by X o’clock, as I’ll need to make arrangements either way.
P.S - If you need any help with packing etc, let me know!

If she confirms she’s not going, then I’d ask her if she has insurance to cover her costs and in that case suggest she go to the doctor’s (if she hasn’t already) to get a note and then she can get 50% covered that way and you can both split the other 50% seeing as you won’t be covered for cancellation, as you’re not insured against her injury and remind her that the whole point was to go together.

If she doesn’t have insurance then you’ll either; both have to share the cost of whole amount/you can go alone/try and ask someone to take her place.
Either way, she’s been a good friend for 15 years so she must have a genuine reason if she cancels.
Good luck!

I do hope friend changed her mind and @OkIy is ⛷️

Some may just be missing the fact that if the details in the original post are correct then the OP travels today (Thursday) or indeed may have already done so...it's too late now to suggest alternatives for the trip.

If the OP is correct it appears they were notified that the friend wasn't travelling with about 24 hours notice of travel, give or take.

That left stuff all time to ask around to see if anybody else could step in, and in turn not a lot of time to then contact airlines/tour operators, etc, to attempt rearrange/rebook, even if that was possible or affordable with a maybe less than a days notice.

I know it's fashionable to "be kind" but I'm not sure I could manage it if I'd been dropped in the pooh the way the OP appears to have been.

Did you go on this holiday OP?

This is what I’m wondering as well. It doesn’t make sense for one person to pay and then the other person does not pay their half straightaway.

Tbf to OPs friend re leaving 6 weeks to settle their half..and I'm trying to word this without sounding like a dick..

If I'm going away with a friend who I know has more financial pressures than me (i.e. having to wait till next payday whereas I extremely fortunately very rarely do) I will say "no rush just settle when you've got it" - in these cases I wouldnt bat an eyelid at 6 weeks.

HOWEVER I would be batting fuck out of my eyelids if they bailed 24 hrs pre departure and still hadn't paid

What the hell has it go to do with you? And why on earth is she navel gazing? She is asking for advice.

Rude

She should at least have the decency to refund the costs.

The only thing now to be said is…..what happened OP?

Yetti

Surely even if she is injured she could still go and enjoy swimming, massages, lunches etc.
I'd be asking to pay for both you and her if you have to cancel the whole thing. Why should you be left out of pocket!

Can you go alone and book some lessons with a group, always good fun if it’s at the right level and you could meet some people to head out skiing with after. I have skied alone and it can be risky at the top of the mountains if there’s not many people about and conditions are poor. It could be a part ski, part relaxation trip. Just sitting in the sunshine with hot chocolate is amazing. Your friend is mad, I’d give my right arm to go skiing.

Please update us OP

did you go

Get your money back from her and do you have another friend who might be able to go at short notice? If she can’t go she can’t but she really needs to pay up. Whatever happens try to enjoy this break on your own and make friends there! Good luck