To think that there are USUALLY only three reasons why healthy young men ‘go off sex’

[Anon778833]

1 Affair
2 Porn addiction
3 (most hopefully) erectile dysfunction

outside chance - depression - but that would manifest in other areas.

Especially when it’s for at least 18 months!

On a FB group, a woman was saying that her husband has checked out of physical intimacy with her for all this time and he just says ‘it’s not you it’s me’.

Cue a whole raft of women —idiots— saying that all the poor man needs is candles and sexy underwear to get him in the mood!!

I was told that I’m being ‘anti-feminist’ for saying that if it were me, I’d be doing some digging because it’s very unusual for a man who usually likes sex to suddenly become asexual.

Perhaps I am becoming overly cynical in my old age but I am fed up with this culture that teaches women that men are incredibly complex creatures who struggle so much with their complex thoughts that it’s perfectly normal for them to just check out of physical intimacy and it’s the woman’s job to help him and be his counsel and wear sexy clothes??!!!

Im happy to be schooled and told I’m wrong but it’s almost always an affair from past experience.

You might think that sex isn't everything and the rest of the relationship is worth keeping. If the person who wants sex wants it more than the relationship, then they're the ones who should end it.

But surely the point here is the new baby? Am I missing something? Loads of men lose interest in sex after their partners have given birth.

Actually you didn't say new baby but they are young, and they do have a child, so I am assuming that the child is very young.

If all these married men are looking for affairs why has no one asked me? Just saying, I'm quite cute, is there something wrong with me😉

There are 2 reasons women go off sex

1. 40 percent are too busy trying to figure out how their husbands are simultaneously simple and deceitful creatures that have taken to do called modern methods of manipulation despite everyone in society having an affair. It boggles the mind causing a reduction in estrogen.
2. 40 percent are too busy on Mumsnet speculating why men have gone off sex. This is my problem.
3. 20 percent have secretly gay husbands. Sorry.

I know, I'm just an expert in relationships.

I said what happened to him was sexual assault.

I understand your cynical view but I am deeply uncomfortable with brushing off mental health issues and you’re not realising the significant issues this has on people’s sex drive. Men are no different to women in this respect.

I've known more a few men have trouble with libido and erectile dysfunction as a result of stress and/or depression, and sometimes because of antidepressants in top of that (these aren't sexual partners of mine btw, I'm not the common denominator here lol, I'm talking about some male friends).

I don't think it's helpful to make men feel like if they have a problem with sexual dysfunction that everyone will assume they simply must be a porn-addicted freak who secretly hates their partner and is more likely than not in denial about their sexuality.

It's quite a common thing to happen that men often feel lots of shame about. And do you know what kills libido even further? Feelings of shame and embarrassment around sex.

I also think it’s very cruel to just withdraw and not tell the partner why.

There's a stigma around men's mental health issues. It's not easy to talk about.

True, I deduced that you think men are simple from what you did say which was:

I am fed up with this culture that teaches women that men are incredibly complex creatures

and the fact you think that a “normal” man is always gagging for sex because they’re not complex and so, according to you, there are only 3 simple reasons why a man has gone off shagging: he’s shagging another woman, he can’t get it up, or he’s addicted to porn.

The opening post is ridiculous and so reductive, surprised it didn't mention "death grip"! 🙄 Doesn't even mention major factors like stress or antidepressants. Plus men sometimes just "go off" a long term partner as many women do.

But nah, you're right, it's porn, affairs and/or they're gay, gotta be.

Married with child, you say? Probably making sure another DC does not arrive.

I think the OP has had and/or witnessed some crappy things and that's really sad. I'm sorry you haven't had the luck I've had to have kind male friends and an honest husband. I've actually known more women who cheat than men.

At the same time this sexism isn't ok. If a man was cheated on by his partner and his friends had similar experiences it wouldn't be ok if he made blanket assumptions about all women and tried to tell guys their wife's were simple and liars.

You'd expect people to defend women and saty get therapy, or at least do some reading and go and check your biases.