Eating meat, veggie dp does not know

[Spicysashimi]

My dp is veggie and early on I also did the same as it’s a big thing for him. I still sometimes eat good meat at meals out but obviously don’t tell him. My sister knows but no-one else. I’m starting to feel quite guilty about it, how wrong actually is it?!

That is controlling. Is he Morrissey?

This would be my question?
I wouldn't stay with someone who tells me what I can and can't do

YANBU. Just tell him. I'm sure if he's a reasonable human he won't mind. If he isn't then don't put up with his controlling what food comes into the household. I don't think it's on when vegans and vegetarians won't "permit" animal foods in the house even if their partner doesn't share their beliefs

I don't think it's a case of the DP being controlling, but of the fact that the OP is lying to him. He's perfectly entitled to say he won't be with someone who eats meat and he made that clear at the beginning. You can't then blame him for being controlling when, as far as he is aware, the OP is telling him she's a vegetarian.

OP you need to tell him, apologise for lying, and then deal with the consequences of that lie.

Morals are essentially personal choices for behaviour. Another comparison would be if someone who decided, morally everyone should do voluntary work to give back to the community.

Anyone who tells their partner in a committed relationship they are not permitted to give up voluntary work or they will dump them is is best avoided.

My dp is veggie and early on I also did the same as it’s a big thing for him. I still sometimes eat good meat at meals out but obviously don’t tell him

OP is lying by omission

Roles reversed the consensus would be YABU

Then YABU.

It doesn't matter what it is, really - he has a boundary he feels strongly about in his partners and you're lying to him about it.

It doesn't even matter that it's down to personal choice: you know he wouldn't choose to date you if he knew the truth and you're deliberately concealing it.

My dp is anti porn and early on I said I was but now I download porn when he is not there.

My dp is monogamous and early on I said I was but now and then I have a snog in a nightclub and don't tell him.

My dp is a lesbian and early on I said I was a woman so I can be with her but I'm actually a man.

My dp is a virgin and early on I said I was but I'm not and now he will break up with me when he finds out.

My dp has a job and early on I said I do too but now I have to lie about when I am working as I don't have a source of income other than jobseekers.

My dp is a dog lover so I said I was but I'm off to the yulen dog festival for a few days to satisfy my hankering for dog flesh. I have told him I'm at a conference.

If you feel any one of these is out of order you should examine your prejudice about people who don't want to partake in the killing of animals.

Anyone who tells their partner in a committed relationship they are not permitted to give up voluntary work or they will dump them is is best avoided.

He is only in a committed relationship because the OP is lying to him. If she had told him she wasn't vegetarian he wouldn't be in a relationship with her at all.

I fail to see why he is in any way controlling her choices.

@HushLittleBabyDontYouCry honestly the likes of cheating and hiding a cock in your pants compares to someone wanting to eat meat?

I'm sorry but far more comparable than your pathetic facial hair comparison.

Your user name is also ridiculously ironic for someone that can't see that others might not want to murder animals for unnecessary reasons.

Just stick to writing mmmm bacon as that seems to be your level of understanding.

Maybe it would have been better to reply to the correct person! I have not said anything about facial hair you have got me mixed up with someone else. I am a vegetarian and have been since I was 11 as I don't agree with killing animals.

Break up with him so that he can date someone that doesn't eat meat. From the sound of things, it seems like you became vegetarian just so that you could date him. Did he tell you that he only dates vegetarians and you told him that you'd stop eating meat for him, or did you lie and tell him that you were vegetarian in the first place?

If he only wants to date people who don't eat meat, that's perfectly fine. You both just aren't compatible.

Don't believe in eating animals.
Just in deciding where others boundaries lay.
I apologise, I thought you were an ignorant meat eater but you are actually an ignorant vegetarian.

I notice you ignored the yulen dog example. I wonder why. Perhaps if someone came round your house with roast Labrador you'd understand boundaries.
Of course you're fine with killing as a vegetarian. Chicks and dairy calves die for your animal products. But that's fine, you are allowed to draw your line where it is. Even if others think it's hypocritical. You don't get to decide.others lines on the virtue of you being a crap vegetarian.

Hehehe. What all of us. There's literally millions around the world.

It’s up to you if you eat meat. But lying is wrong, especially about something that is so important for him that you say it’s a deal breaker. He is not dating the person he thinks he is, your relationship is built in lies.

You having a bad day or something? You ok?

Care to tell me which part is incorrect.
Vegetarian diets do require animals to be killed. It's a fact.
It may not be palatable but that's the reality of it.
I don't think you can decide others boundaries. Claiming that you can because you are xyz group is dodgy as fuck.

@HushLittleBabyDontYouCry have a day off!

My husband is vegetarian. Not once has he said he expects me to follow the same diet as him. I choose to eat a vegetarian option some of the time, but my choice.

If you can't openly discuss something such as this, and he dictates you live a lifestyle you don't wish to follow, you should be thinking of you are with the right person.

He has no right to dictate what you want to eat. You should feel comfortable enough in the relationship to tell him you want to eat meat.

If you can't openly discuss something such as this, and he dictates you live a lifestyle you don't wish to follow, you should be thinking of you are with the right person. * He has no right to dictate what you want to eat. You should feel comfortable enough in the relationship to tell him you want to eat meat.*

This is by means not the only post but do people really not read properly anymore? He IS NOT dictating to her about what she eats. He said he wouldn't be in a relationship with a meat eater, which is absolutely his perogative. The OP is LYING to him and, as far as he is aware, she is a vegetarian.

This is HER fault, not his.

I am vegetarian and would never ask for such things from my DH so its hard to comment because I can't understand this mindset at all. But it would be better to be honest with him and let him know you want to eat meat.

But he presumably wouldn’t have agreed to get in a relationship with her if she continued to eat meat. It’s a valid preference to only date vegetarians, or blonde haired people or people that do voluntary work or people who exercise a lot or people who are above a certain height. Any preference is ok when dating.

If I was dating now, my dealbreakers would be, must be vegan, have nice hair, love animals, like being outdoors, not religious. Personal preferences, all valid.