Eating meat, veggie dp does not know

[Spicysashimi]

My dp is veggie and early on I also did the same as it’s a big thing for him. I still sometimes eat good meat at meals out but obviously don’t tell him. My sister knows but no-one else. I’m starting to feel quite guilty about it, how wrong actually is it?!

Honestly? He is being a controlling veggie weirdo, stand up for yourself. It is not unreasonable to choose to eat meat when out or even have meat for just yourself at home. If he dumps you for it then you've missed a bullet.

completely missing the point.

we all have conditions on relationships. I don't have many red lines. Drug use would be one. Drink driving would be another. Punching me in the face. That kind of thing. I can see mostly when those things happen. But drug use, for eg is something that my partner might hide. Successfully. But if i knew he was doing drugs? that would be the end. And the reason he'd be lying about it? is to trick me into continuing a relationship under conditions that are lies.

And yes, some people might think the BF is batshit. That's their problem. He doesn't want to have a relationship with a meat eater. That is his right. And she is lying to him to trick him into staying with her. Low blow. Morally and ethically wrong.

I've also CLEARLY said she shouldn't be lying, but that part doesn't fit your agenda. You're obviously one of those weird ones too 🤣

No he can’t force her and of course he shouldn’t. But he doesn’t have to accept it. If he only dates vegetarians, that’s his choice and obviously they’re just not meant to be.

Bin him. It is controlling of him to want to dictate what you eat and he almost certainly gets off on having made you “change your ways” for him. I’ve encountered several like that. It’s also disrespectful of him that he wouldn’t accept your choice of what to do with your own body after trying his way.

The only thing you’ve done wrong is agreeing to go along with it in the first place, though it was understandable to try if you really liked him.

Bin him. It is controlling of him to want to dictate what you eat

but he isn't, is he? Honestly some posters really have a skewed idea of what controlling is. What he IS saying is that he doesn't want to, and wouldn't, date a meat eater.

What if you said you didn't want to date a paedophile? but your boyfriend just couldn't give it up, but still wanted to date you so lied about it?

Very very different scenarios. But the underlying principle is the same. He is controlling his own dating pool. OP is controlling him by lying about it.

If she is choosing to eat vegetarian food when she's with him, that's her look out. Not him controlling. She wants something from him - a relationship - and he wants that too. Only he wouldn't if he knew about the lies.

Seen it all now! Comparing a meat eater to a paedophile to try and point out how similar the principle is!

It's a closer comparison to compare someone not wanting to date someone who will only drive a diesel car.....completely pointless and irrelevant to their day but still something that they are allowed to choose should they wish. Would probably end a lot of relationships before they've even got started, but still their choice.

Obviously I don’t know if he’s controlling, but it’s not necessarily about trying to control someone.

Since meeting my partner he has reduced his meat/dairy/egg eating because I genuinely struggle with the smells when it’s cooking and when having a meal together sometimes, depending on what it contains. And I find it hard having meat especially in the fridge and seeing it.

Your DP needs to concentrate on his own plate. He can not control what you choose to eat, unless you don't live together- then he can control what comes into his own home.
If he has such strong moral convictions that he can. not in good conscience be with a meat eater, that is his choice.

If he has such strong moral convictions that he can. not in good conscience be with a meat eater, that is his choice

Op is denying him this choice.
That's the issue.
God does eating meat make you dense or something the amount of people who can't seem to grasp the basic principle that op is lying to him to get a relationship out of him is unreal.

Seen it all now! Comparing a meat eater to a paedophile to try and point out how similar the principle is!

if you don't understand, then just ask. It isn't comparing a meat eater to a paedophile. It is pointing out that it doesn't matter what the lie is about or the red line. HTH

@Brefugee I don't need to ask thanks. I can see how crazy the comparison was, just wildly pathetic. She shouldn't be lying, but the comparion to the situation of a paedophile is insane.

It's not a comparison between those two things.
It is two instances of lying.

One of them being about the lowest of the low scum of the earth, the other about wanting to eat meat. Wild.

it is about people lying. Too difficult to grasp, obvs.

Of course. Obvs.

Are you for real?

Break up with him now, before he starts to control every other aspect of your life. This has got nothing to do with vegetarianism, & everything to do with him thinking he's the boss of you.

Time to prove him wrong.

Can't he tell when you have eaten meat? I thought non meat eaters could tell by a person's smell?

You only said that AFTER you were called out. Clearly OP is a problem.

Maybe compare it to not wanting to date someone after they decide to grow a moustache.

It is possible to get over a loved partner not conforming to your personal tastes, it is never possible to get over finding out your partner is a paedophile and in no way comparable!

You are not compatible. You have different values.

Exactly, so hurtful and careless choice of words to people who have been a victim of such things!

I don’t think the moustache example isn’t a good one either. That’s not really a question of morals.

This is just 2 people with different morals. If happens. OP just needs to tell him the truth, if he can’t be in a relationship with her then so be it.

🙄