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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bring a fizzy drink to a meal?

776 replies

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 19:40

So, I visited my boyfriend's family for the first time on Sunday

His mum cooked for us all. Lovely meal. When I arrived, I came with a bottle of lemonade. I said this to his mum ''I've got this, can I pop it in the fridge? Please help yourselves''

When having dinner, I asked for a glass (there were only small wine glasses on the table).

His mum said 'but we're having wine?'

I said no thanks, I'll just have some of the lemonade please'

She seemed really Confused at me!

We had a nice meal and then my boyfriend mentioned to me today 'Mum was really confused about your lemonade! Maybe don't do that next time Wink'

AIBU to think it's fine? It wasn't just for me. Anyone could've helped themselves but it was so strange. It was as if I had placed 10g of coke on the table and told everyone to help themselves to a line

Very odd indeed surely?

OP posts:
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5
illiterato · 10/01/2023 20:09

It’s not that they think everyone drinks alcohol. It’s that anything but wine ( possibly beer depending on what is served) or water ( still or sparkling) with a meal is seen as a bit non-U in certain circles. Not saying it’s right but that’s how it is and it’s a class signifier. It would be considered equally non-U to have a spirit and mixer with a meal.

JudyGemston · 10/01/2023 20:10

Brefugee · 10/01/2023 19:49

We text to ask if we could bring a desert and what would they like, we were told not to! It was all sorted and to just arrive please

no that's a rookie mistake. Never turn up to dinner or to stay at someone's house without a gift for the host. Chocolates and/or flowers and/or wine. And then if you only drink, say, 7Up you bring that too.

She brought chocolates! If you can’t manage to read four whole sentences it’s best to keep your thoughts to yourself.

Feelallright · 10/01/2023 20:10

Sorry, I think it is very odd to take 7Up to drink with a meal at someone’s house. I don’t drink alcohol and I would never do that. It’s weird to drink a sweet fizzy drink with a meal and a bit rude to the host -it’ll spoil the taste of the meal.

RagzRebooted · 10/01/2023 20:11

Shoxfordian · 10/01/2023 20:03

It’s a bit weird to bring a bottle of lemonade tbh; why didn’t you just have a small wine to be sociable or drink water if not? It was your first time there too

Why is it more 'sociable' to have wine?

OP, I don't think YABU at all. It would not have occurred to me that this could be wierd.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 10/01/2023 20:11

Feelallright · 10/01/2023 20:10

Sorry, I think it is very odd to take 7Up to drink with a meal at someone’s house. I don’t drink alcohol and I would never do that. It’s weird to drink a sweet fizzy drink with a meal and a bit rude to the host -it’ll spoil the taste of the meal.

If it's weird, why does practically every single restaurant in the world serve soft drinks with meals? Hmm

LubaLuca · 10/01/2023 20:11

I think it perhaps made them think that you didn't see what they'd invited you for was 'special', as you'd brought something you'd drink by the pint in front of the telly with a pizza. I don't think it was anything to do with them being surprised you wouldn't drink alcohol, I imagine they'd have had the same reaction to you bringing a 2l bottle of cider.

Feelallright · 10/01/2023 20:13

Take the lemonade along if you must, but have a drink of it before the meal, not during it.

Original poster
mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 20:13

Feelallright · 10/01/2023 20:10

Sorry, I think it is very odd to take 7Up to drink with a meal at someone’s house. I don’t drink alcohol and I would never do that. It’s weird to drink a sweet fizzy drink with a meal and a bit rude to the host -it’ll spoil the taste of the meal.

Sorry, I was under the impression I was the one tasting the meal when I ate it and not them

OP posts:
illiterato · 10/01/2023 20:13

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 10/01/2023 20:11

If it's weird, why does practically every single restaurant in the world serve soft drinks with meals? Hmm

Show quote history

In case you want an aperitif 🤣

HoneyDragon · 10/01/2023 20:13

My theories are

They’re panicking that you’re already pregnant and they’ve just met you. Hence not drinking.

Or they think you’re on strong antibiotics for an std.

Or they’re really really weird.

polishes happy to help badge

Chickychoccyegg · 10/01/2023 20:13

Lol, can't get over people thinking because they don't like fizzy or sweet drinks with a meal then no one should, its completely fine to take along your drink of choice to a meal, would be weirder if you never took any then asked them for a lemonade, your boyfriend sounds a bit pathetic saying whst he said, and his mum sounds seriously odd.

bellac11 · 10/01/2023 20:14

Feelallright · 10/01/2023 20:10

Sorry, I think it is very odd to take 7Up to drink with a meal at someone’s house. I don’t drink alcohol and I would never do that. It’s weird to drink a sweet fizzy drink with a meal and a bit rude to the host -it’ll spoil the taste of the meal.

A sweet fizzy drink, erm like prosecco or something then? Some are horribly sweet but no one would be shaming OP for bringing a bottle of that

Cuwins · 10/01/2023 20:14

What I find odd is the people on this thread suggesting you should have taken a bottle of wine with you as a gift- why on earth would you do that if you don't drink? I don't drink, never have and would have absolutely no idea how to pick a bottle of wine even if it did occur to me to take one!
I don't think it's particularly odd to take 7up although I would also assume someone hosting a meal would offer a non-alcoholic drink so it probably wouldn't occur to me to take one. Why would you just assume that people wanted wine? Surely it should be 'what would you like to drink? We have wine, juice, water...'?

Headabovetheparakeet · 10/01/2023 20:14

Feelallright · 10/01/2023 20:13

Take the lemonade along if you must, but have a drink of it before the meal, not during it.

Confused
Teafor1please · 10/01/2023 20:14

The thing about taking it with you is that you decided, before going, that your host wouldn't host properly and wouldn't have anything you would like. That isn't really the best message (even if true).

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 10/01/2023 20:14

illiterato · 10/01/2023 20:13

In case you want an aperitif 🤣

Show quote history

Or maybe as a nice relaxing post-dinner drink 😂

floradora · 10/01/2023 20:14

Once again it's one of those unwritten class things. Wine or water (tap, bottled, still or sparkling) with a meal; but not sugary drinks, which are supposedly for children. Anything else is OK for an aperitif but not with food. (Not my "rules" by the way, but that is what is expected and accepted in certain "milieux")

JudyGemston · 10/01/2023 20:15

Brefugee · 10/01/2023 19:51

the OP said they took chocolates too.

for after the meal though - that's... meh. You bring something for the hosts, if they want to put them out on the table and say "help yourselves" that's up to them

Just accept that you missed the part about the chocolates and move on. Yes you look a bit silly but it’s anonymous so who cares. OP brought chocolates, even if she intended them to be eaten after the meal I doubt she said that specifically. I’m sure the hosts could have saved them if they preferred.

Cuwins · 10/01/2023 20:16

Teafor1please · 10/01/2023 20:14

The thing about taking it with you is that you decided, before going, that your host wouldn't host properly and wouldn't have anything you would like. That isn't really the best message (even if true).

So by that token if she took a bottle of wine she would be suggesting that the hosts wouldn't have decent wine then?

floradora · 10/01/2023 20:16

bellac11 · 10/01/2023 20:14

A sweet fizzy drink, erm like prosecco or something then? Some are horribly sweet but no one would be shaming OP for bringing a bottle of that

Show quote history

But you wouldn't drink a sweet prosecco with food. Also prosecco is NOT nice.

Xmasbaby11 · 10/01/2023 20:16

I think that's fine and the family are snobs about food and drink. I bet they do think it ruins the meal. Would they have been happy with a posh fruit juice or the kind of soft drink that's presented more like alcohol? Or is only wine or water acceptable? I do think there's a bit of snobbery around perfectly ordinary fizzy drinks like coke and sprite. Among my peers no one would order anything like that, only a posh lemonade or similar if not drinking alcohol. If I go out for the evening and don't drink, I usually have a diet coke.

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 10/01/2023 20:16

People who bring wine/beer with them to someone's house and then take home whatever's leftover at the end of the evening are very weird to me. A non-drinker bringing along their soft drink of choice: not weird.

Feelallright · 10/01/2023 20:16

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 10/01/2023 20:11

If it's weird, why does practically every single restaurant in the world serve soft drinks with meals? Hmm

Show quote history

Do they? I suppose they will serve it if customers ask for it. They’re getting paid for it. I don’t drink alcohol and I’ll happily have a soft drink in a pub, but I wouldn’t when eating a meal in a restaurant, and definitely not when visiting people for a meal.

Original poster
mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 20:16

floradora · 10/01/2023 20:14

Once again it's one of those unwritten class things. Wine or water (tap, bottled, still or sparkling) with a meal; but not sugary drinks, which are supposedly for children. Anything else is OK for an aperitif but not with food. (Not my "rules" by the way, but that is what is expected and accepted in certain "milieux")

They live in Billericay ffs.

OP posts:
MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 10/01/2023 20:17

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 20:16

They live in Billericay ffs.

Show quote history

Grin Grin