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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bring a fizzy drink to a meal?

776 replies

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 19:40

So, I visited my boyfriend's family for the first time on Sunday

His mum cooked for us all. Lovely meal. When I arrived, I came with a bottle of lemonade. I said this to his mum ''I've got this, can I pop it in the fridge? Please help yourselves''

When having dinner, I asked for a glass (there were only small wine glasses on the table).

His mum said 'but we're having wine?'

I said no thanks, I'll just have some of the lemonade please'

She seemed really Confused at me!

We had a nice meal and then my boyfriend mentioned to me today 'Mum was really confused about your lemonade! Maybe don't do that next time Wink'

AIBU to think it's fine? It wasn't just for me. Anyone could've helped themselves but it was so strange. It was as if I had placed 10g of coke on the table and told everyone to help themselves to a line

Very odd indeed surely?

OP posts:
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5
youshouldnthaveasked · 10/01/2023 20:01

I hate this expectation that one should want to drink alcohol.

no you weren’t unreasonable

HarryArry · 10/01/2023 20:01

How old are they OP?

Original poster
mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 20:01

Speedweed · 10/01/2023 19:55

Was it one of those huge cheap bottles which don't fit in the fridge? 😂

I think the issue is that you should have brought a gift for the host, plus your drink. Otherwise it looks like you've just brought something for you (did you take the remainder home with you as well?!). So a bottle of wine for them, and your lemonade. Also I think it's fine to say I don't drink or I don't like alcohol by way of explanation (but really your boyfriend should have said that to them, if he knows they normally would have a drink).

But now you know for next time!

I didn't bring it home with me automatically. His mum handed it back to me before we walked out the door!

OP posts:
MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 10/01/2023 20:01

If someone doesn't drink alcohol and isn't a fan of tap water I don't see the big deal with them wanting a glass of 7Up instead.

SquirrelFan · 10/01/2023 20:01

I think they might be a bit snobby. There's a feeling that certain 'foodies' have that only wine (carefully paired) or water goes with a nice meal. A sugary drink would seem a bit downmarket, or childish. Certainly bringing 7-Up would be more of a barbecue thing.
There's also the possibility that they think you're an alcoholic, or pregnant (some people assume that about anyone who is not drinking!). That's probably why she mentioned it to your DP.

Emmamoo89 · 10/01/2023 20:02

What an odd family

Headabovetheparakeet · 10/01/2023 20:02

His mum handed it back to me before we walked out the door!

The mother sounds like a graceless host and your boyfriend sounds a bit spineless tbh.

Original poster
mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 20:02

HarryArry · 10/01/2023 20:01

How old are they OP?

Very early 50's

OP posts:
BrewersFaye · 10/01/2023 20:02

LessSugarIn23 · 10/01/2023 19:48

No, it is not odd to bring your own soft drink. People bring a bottle of wine to a meal sometimes.

Show quote history

Well I and the OPs partners family think it’s odd, as do others on the vote.

Shoxfordian · 10/01/2023 20:03

It’s a bit weird to bring a bottle of lemonade tbh; why didn’t you just have a small wine to be sociable or drink water if not? It was your first time there too

MintChocCornetto · 10/01/2023 20:03

No you weren't BU

Your bf was unreasonable for not telling them you won't have wine

They were unreasonable not providing something other than water for non drinkers

As for 'probably don't do that next time' - he needs to get a grip

youshouldnthaveasked · 10/01/2023 20:03

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 10/01/2023 19:58

Why should non-drinkers get stuck drinking plain water?

Show quote history

Yes, exactly this

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 10/01/2023 20:03

the mum handing the bottle back as you left the house sounds quite rude.

are you really set on this bloke, OP? Grin

Original poster
mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 20:05

Shoxfordian · 10/01/2023 20:03

It’s a bit weird to bring a bottle of lemonade tbh; why didn’t you just have a small wine to be sociable or drink water if not? It was your first time there too

It must be different strokes for different folks. I wouldn't even bat an eyelid if someone came to my house and had their own drink, gifted a drink, didn't gift anything, whatever! Seems a bit tense and upright?

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/01/2023 20:05

Wonder if they are the sort of people who can't understand why someone wouldn't have an alcoholic drink.

Your bf is bonkers.

Anyways - don't take a bottle next time. If his family care, they'll have a bottle in for you. If they don't, drink tap water and then ditch the lot of them.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 10/01/2023 20:05

Shoxfordian · 10/01/2023 20:03

It’s a bit weird to bring a bottle of lemonade tbh; why didn’t you just have a small wine to be sociable or drink water if not? It was your first time there too

Because she doesn't want to drink alcohol and water is boring.

Why do so many people have an issue with others not wanting to have alcohol?

MintyPrincess · 10/01/2023 20:05

Was it 7UP Free? I love that stuff yanbu

Headabovetheparakeet · 10/01/2023 20:05

Shoxfordian · 10/01/2023 20:03

It’s a bit weird to bring a bottle of lemonade tbh; why didn’t you just have a small wine to be sociable or drink water if not? It was your first time there too

Expecting someone to drink alcohol they don't want just to make other people feel
comfortable is ridiculous. I had hoped we were past that cultural norm now but apparently not.

2023caloriecounter · 10/01/2023 20:05

A nice lemonade Grin

AnnieFarmer · 10/01/2023 20:05

You need to buckle in if you’re planning on staying in this relationship. His mum is going to be difficult.

Headabovetheparakeet · 10/01/2023 20:06

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 10/01/2023 20:03

the mum handing the bottle back as you left the house sounds quite rude.

are you really set on this bloke, OP? Grin

We seem to be thinking as one on this thread!

AnnieSnap · 10/01/2023 20:06

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 19:44

Actually, the more I sit here the more I have decided I'm not unreasonable Grin it is decided lol

No YANBU as you’ve since decided. My husband is an alcohol (sober for 3 1/2 years). Would she have an issue with his Diet Coke? It sounds like she would. Aside from those with problems with alcohol, there are plenty of others who don’t want to drink sometimes, others who don’t drink at all. I think you should explain that to the boyfriend who thinks you shouldn’t “do that again”!

phoenixrosehere · 10/01/2023 20:08

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 10/01/2023 19:58

Why should non-drinkers get stuck drinking plain water?

Show quote history

This. I don’t like the taste of plain water and all water is not the same to me. I prefer sparkling and even with that I know different brands taste different. I wouldn’t have brought my own drink to be honest and hoped a host would be able to accommodate me with something else since I highly doubt the only choices in someone’s home is water or wine and if it was, I’d find that very weird.

WasteOfPaint · 10/01/2023 20:08

YANBU.

The mother was rude to act like that and also to decide unilaterally that everyone had to drink wine and not offer a choice of drinks at the outset.

The boyfriend is BU to go on about it.

bellac11 · 10/01/2023 20:09

I dont understand some of these comments

OP is not required to just drink water
She wasnt bringing 7up as a gift, she was bringing it because she wanted to drink it, because she doesnt drink

All of which is perfectly acceptable

I think he and his mum sound weird and as OP says tense and uptight

Next time OP, bring a bottle of made up ribena/squash, in an old reused lemon barley bottle with the label half washed off

Then dump him