To bring a fizzy drink to a meal?

[mapofthechicks]

So, I visited my boyfriend's family for the first time on Sunday

His mum cooked for us all. Lovely meal. When I arrived, I came with a bottle of lemonade. I said this to his mum ''I've got this, can I pop it in the fridge? Please help yourselves''

When having dinner, I asked for a glass (there were only small wine glasses on the table).

His mum said 'but we're having wine?'

I said no thanks, I'll just have some of the lemonade please'

She seemed really at me!

We had a nice meal and then my boyfriend mentioned to me today 'Mum was really confused about your lemonade! Maybe don't do that next time '

AIBU to think it's fine? It wasn't just for me. Anyone could've helped themselves but it was so strange. It was as if I had placed 10g of coke on the table and told everyone to help themselves to a line

Very odd indeed surely?

I take wine to my adult childrens houses and they bring wine to mine, only for a meal I mean not if we just pop in for coffee.

Indeed, likewise. But OP's point appears to be that only wine was on offer, and she didn't want wine. I don't know how old @mapofthechicks is but I think it's really odd in this day and age to assume everyone drinks wine, especially at Sunday lunch. My DCs are all in their early-mid 20s now and two of them never drink wine; the third might have one glass before dinner every couple of weeks but never at lunchtime.

As I said upthread it's possibly slightly odd to take your own soft drink on a first meeting like this one. But if at that first meeting I discovered that wine or water were the only drink options offered, I would probably take my own soft drink of choice to any subsequent lunch/dinner.

They'd have been very surprised if an adult friend of theirs couldn't go a couple of hours without having fizzy pop.

Mine would feel the same about adults and alcohol.

Neither of my parents drink alcohol nor do they drink tap water with their meals. They also don’t drink hot tea nor do coffee so the options would be either a fizzy drink, fruit juice (not squash), or bottled water (from their emergency stash) if people came by unannounced nor would they question anyone bringing their own drink.

My in-laws don’t drink wine until after their evening meal so they would usually have squash and one of DH’s siblings or DH would have a fizzy drink like a coke and he may have a glass of wine with his parents after dinner if he is not driving.

The disdainful, judgemental posts keep coming in.

Why is someone bringing a fizzy drink such an issue for these snobs?

Class? Really? It's bad manners, nothing to do with class,

In this case @Solonge the meaning of class is different. Describing something as classy or someone with class doesn't mean working class/middle class. It can mean someone with high standards of behaviour regardless of which social class their background is.

A lot of people don't drink wine with every meal

It doesn't make you better than other people because you have wine with your meal.

All this thread is highlighting, is the unhealthy relationship many people have with alcohol in the UK. The psychosocial dependence on it is really concerning. And there is huge denial and lack of insight around it. Some simply cannot envisage socialising without it. Like the snobby parents in the OP.

Those on here saying you have to expect wine with a meal are in a far more worrying situation in the long term than those bringing along a bottle of 7UP.

We usually have a red and/or white, tap water and possibly Diet Coke which my teens drink but they buy themselves. We have an assortment of tea bags and a coffee machine. Whenever I’m having guests I buy a bottle of champagne and an assortment of those small bottles of posh fizzy drinks. Various flavours.

Is so bizarre. There’s quite a lot of antiquated views on here.
like others have said true class is about making people welcome.
Bizarre adherence to pseudo-etiquette rules to the point that you make guests feel unwelcome is awful hosting!
Is like the pro-lifers in the name of baby Jesus who also want relaxed gun laws which causes more death.

Where I live you know someone's posh if they're not drinking out of it used jamjars. Thankfully I was saved from a potential chav life because my mother got a full set of crystal cut glasses from Esso by saving up her Tiger Tokens in the 80s.

I didn’t meant it was a particular level of class I just meant it was ‘classy’ in the sense of having a good standard of behaviour. Anyone can be classy.

I think it’s weird you taking lemonade to your boyfriends parents on the first time meeting them. I would like to assume most people have soft drinks in the house if you didn’t want wine. If you wanted to contribute to the meal then you should have took wine if that’s what everyone is having even if you are not. A £1 bottle of lemonade is not really a gesture and says I’m not drinking your soft drinks

If you wanted to contribute to the meal then you should have took wine if that’s what everyone is having even if you are not.

Read OP’s posts

Did your boyfriend give you any clue that his mum wouldn’t be happy about the lemonade? He should have warned you really. I still wouldn’t take lemonade to someone’s house; I’d just drink water if I didn’t want alcohol

I had a glass of Tizer with my dinner last night and enjoyed it immensely, it paired beautifully with Wagu burgers and skin on fries.

I'm not sure the OP doesn't drink alcohol. She doesn't drink wine and prefers lemonade with a hot meal. But maybe she does like a beer when clubbing and pubbing? In that case this post is not about drinking alcohol but about not liking wine.

This is one of the maddest posts ever. Feels like the people posting don’t have friends or family over. Only like really posh dinner parties. So odd!!
of course if you sons friends or girlfriends come over and they want to drink lemonade and don’t want to put you out it’s lovely if they bring it! Honestly no bad manners at all, if anything is good manners and courtesy.

Everyone is out of order here. The mum shouldn’t have commented, and then mentioned it to the boyfriend. She, as host, should have been more gracious. But the OP’s behaviour is very odd, so not surprising the mum was taken aback. To bring a bottle of lemonade for to drink alongside a roast dinner the first time of meeting the boyfriend’s family is completely crass and lacking in any manners. I’m cringing with embarrassment at how awful the situation must have been.

It was a bottle of lemonade though. Nothing sinister.

People really do get offended about the slightest thing. You are a long time dead. Just live a little and accept quirky things.

Boring bastards.

You lot acting all posh, nobody is going to remember how posh you were in 100 years. You will be forgotten.

How is it posh? What are you on about? There’s nothing posh.

It’s sooo Mumsnet to only judge you because it was 7up. Don’t you know it should have been Waitrose finest organic lemonade?

YANBU at all btw, I hate wine too.

What are you talking about?

The OP just did what she thought was OK. Posters were saying it wasn't the correct way to behave.

Explain what you mean?

I told my DC about tizer the other day and they had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. I haven’t seen it in shops for years, glad to hear it still exists somewhere!

Crass to bring a drink to an informal meal? Get over yourself.

Equally lacking in manners is the host for assuming everyone was going to drink wine and not providing any other options for the first visit of her son's new girlfriend… 'We're having wine, or if you want water there's a tap over there and glasses above the sink.' Not a house I would be rushing back to.