Page 27 | To bring a fizzy drink to a meal?

mapofthechicks · 2023-01-10T19:40:57+00:00

So, I visited my boyfriend's family for the first time on Sunday His mum cooked for us all. Lovely meal. When I arrived, I came with a bottle of lemonade. I said this to his mum ''I've got this, can I pop it in the fridge? Please help yourselves'' When having dinner, I asked for a glass (there were only small wine glasses on the table). His mum said 'but we're having wine?' I said no thanks, I'll just have some of the lemonade please' She seemed really [confused] at me! We had a nice meal and then my boyfriend mentioned to me today 'Mum was really confused about your lemonade! Maybe don't do that next time [wink]' AIBU to think it's fine? It wasn't just for me. Anyone could've helped themselves but it was ^so^ strange. It was as if I had placed 10g of coke on the table and told everyone to help themselves to a line Very odd indeed surely?

HangoverSquare · 12/01/2023 10:07

It honestly wouldn’t occur to me to check what someone wanted to drink, soft drink wise, because everyone I know drinks water and serves water with meals. I don’t know anyone who has fizzy drinks on standby for guests

people are just bosting about being crappy hosts now.

HangoverSquare · 12/01/2023 10:08

*boasting

FeliciteFaff · 12/01/2023 10:16

This is funny. She couldn’t raise her own kid but has the temerity to make you feel
awkward for bringing 7up to the dinner. She sounds like a Uber bitch with airs and if her sonny boy is defending her. I am sorry. You just have to LTB.

FeliciteFaff · 12/01/2023 10:18

And for those who don’t know. 7up is the original and tastes way better. FFS. Just like Fanta is better than crappy Tango.

Yb23487643 · 12/01/2023 10:21

I’d be getting red flags from that family! How weird they wouldn’t respect that you didn’t want wine and had thoughtfully brought your own drink.
You sound very thoughtful, relaxed and considerate. They sound uptight and controlling and maybe deal with that by needing to drink a lot?
Need a stiff boundary there to reinstate normal human reactions. They’re the ones being odd!!!

RampantIvy · 12/01/2023 10:23

I don’t know anyone who has fizzy drinks on standby for guests just in case, or has them in the house as standard – largely

I don't either, but as a considerate host I would ask whether I needed to get anything in. I agree about the disdain for fuzzy drinks. It is pure snobbery.

because everyone I know drinks water and serves water with meals

That assumption is just as bad as assuming that everyone drinks wine with meals. Neither DH not I drink water with meals. We don't drink anything with meals. We prefer a glass of wine before a meal and a tea or coffee after a meal. I never feel the need to drink water with food.

whynotwhatknot · 12/01/2023 10:27

Sparklingbrook · 11/01/2023 21:09

I've also never seen someone ask for coke in a posh restaurant! It may be on the menu, but I bet the waiters judged!

I bet they don’t. And is anyone to care what the waiters think anyway? 🤔

i did in claridges they didnt act offended

pelargoniums · 12/01/2023 10:27

RampantIvy · 12/01/2023 10:23

I don’t know anyone who has fizzy drinks on standby for guests just in case, or has them in the house as standard – largely

I don't either, but as a considerate host I would ask whether I needed to get anything in. I agree about the disdain for fuzzy drinks. It is pure snobbery.

because everyone I know drinks water and serves water with meals

That assumption is just as bad as assuming that everyone drinks wine with meals. Neither DH not I drink water with meals. We don't drink anything with meals. We prefer a glass of wine before a meal and a tea or coffee after a meal. I never feel the need to drink water with food.

But a host serving or offering you water isn’t “just as bad” – they’re not going to force it down you.

Panda89 · 12/01/2023 10:31

Do people really turn up with gifts/wine when having meals at their parents homes?
When we visit my parents or the in laws, we are visiting our family homes and there is no standing on ceremony! If I turned up with wine, my mum would be very confused.
It's the same when they visit me, I wouldn't expect them to come bearing gifts when they are visiting their daughter.

Maybe we all missed out on the proper hosting genes or something.

pelargoniums · 12/01/2023 10:34

MaryMcCarthy · 12/01/2023 10:05

It honestly wouldn’t occur to me to check what someone wanted to drink, soft drink wise, because everyone I know drinks water and serves water with meals.

So because that's what you know, you assume it's universal?

People can be very solipsistic at times, can't they?

I think that’s most people’s approach, no? If you’ve only ever experience X – in this case X being water is the norm – of course it’s not going to cross my mind that a random guest is going to turn up with 2l of 7Up, any more than I’d expect them to turn up in a clown suit.

DesertIslandCondiment · 12/01/2023 10:37

Panda89 · 12/01/2023 10:31

Do people really turn up with gifts/wine when having meals at their parents homes?
When we visit my parents or the in laws, we are visiting our family homes and there is no standing on ceremony! If I turned up with wine, my mum would be very confused.
It's the same when they visit me, I wouldn't expect them to come bearing gifts when they are visiting their daughter.

Maybe we all missed out on the proper hosting genes or something.

That's a good point.

When my DC brings someone home for us to meet and I'm cooking food for us all I wouldn't expect a gift. If they also turned up with a soft drink it certainly wouldn't start having palpitations.

It's not really a formal dinner party.

Our house is laid back and homely though and I know I'm going to be an amazing MIL 😂.

Solonge · 12/01/2023 10:38

Norisca · 12/01/2023 07:32

This! True class is making everyone welcome and not judging guests.

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Class? Really? It's bad manners, nothing to do with class, there are as many working class with good manners as the landed gentry. Snobbery is most often seen in the middle classes.

HoneyDragon · 12/01/2023 10:43

When people say everyone I know drinks say wine or water than that could mean that when they visit people have asked what they want and can provide it from a range , and in their home visitors are polite enough to pick from what they are offered even if it’s not what they like.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 12/01/2023 11:30

Panda89 · 12/01/2023 10:31

Do people really turn up with gifts/wine when having meals at their parents homes?
When we visit my parents or the in laws, we are visiting our family homes and there is no standing on ceremony! If I turned up with wine, my mum would be very confused.
It's the same when they visit me, I wouldn't expect them to come bearing gifts when they are visiting their daughter.

Maybe we all missed out on the proper hosting genes or something.

I agree if it’s not a special occasion I wouldn’t be turning up to my parents with a present everytime I go and see them, it seems too formal, and wouldn’t have any issues in bringing a particular drink that I wanted as long as I brought enough for others.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 12/01/2023 11:31

HoneyDragon · 12/01/2023 10:43

When people say everyone I know drinks say wine or water than that could mean that when they visit people have asked what they want and can provide it from a range , and in their home visitors are polite enough to pick from what they are offered even if it’s not what they like.

Yeah I think a lot of people say they want water because it’s the one thing they know people will definitely have, it doesn’t mean it is their first choice though

Frazzledstar1 · 12/01/2023 11:56

This thread is hilarious, didn’t realise drinks had their own class system 🤣

DesertIslandCondiment · 12/01/2023 12:01

Frazzledstar1 · 12/01/2023 11:56

This thread is hilarious, didn’t realise drinks had their own class system 🤣

I'm not busy and it's kept me amused.

It could have been worse. OP could have turned up with a 4 pack of white lightning cider smelling of weed.

thing47 · 12/01/2023 12:03

AreOttersJustWetCats · 12/01/2023 07:31

The sugar free versions are worse though! Full of manky tasting sweeteners.

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As you said on a previous post that you never drink fizzy non-alcoholic drinks @AreOttersJustWetCats , and indeed don't ever even have them in the house, how could you possibly know how they taste? Or are you just trolling?

AreOttersJustWetCats · 12/01/2023 12:07

thing47 · 12/01/2023 12:03

As you said on a previous post that you never drink fizzy non-alcoholic drinks @AreOttersJustWetCats , and indeed don't ever even have them in the house, how could you possibly know how they taste? Or are you just trolling?

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I didn't say I'd never tried one in my life! I drank them occasionally as a teen and in my 20s, I just don't drink them now. Haven't for years.

thing47 · 12/01/2023 12:14

AreOttersJustWetCats · 12/01/2023 12:07

I didn't say I'd never tried one in my life! I drank them occasionally as a teen and in my 20s, I just don't drink them now. Haven't for years.

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Surprisingly, they may have changed over those years…

housemaus · 12/01/2023 12:15

YANBU. They were being weird about it - it's maybe not commonly done, but it's hardly an outrageous thing to do, is it?!

Feels odd that you were expected to be on best behaviour but it was fine for them to be slightly rude to you about it, too. I'd be getting DP told.

AreOttersJustWetCats · 12/01/2023 12:24

pelargoniums · 12/01/2023 09:39

Allergies, intolerances, and specific diets for health- religious- and moral-related reasons are quite different from an adult not drinking water. It honestly wouldn’t occur to me to check what someone wanted to drink, soft drink wise, because everyone I know drinks water and serves water with meals. I don’t know anyone who has fizzy drinks on standby for guests just in case, or has them in the house as standard – largely it’s a case of getting a bottle of lemonade at Christmas and when it’s gone it’s gone. So it just wouldn’t occur that I’d need to cater for someone who couldn’t manage a couple of hours without 7Up. I wouldn’t think to ask “And do we need to get in a 2l bottle of pop” any more than I’d ask an adult “And will we need extra bottles of red sauce and some special chicken nuggets and beans on a kiddy plate?”

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Yes, exactly.

And I don't believe this is a class thing because my background is solid WC. My parents would only have got fizzy drinks in for kids, not for an adult coming over for tea. They'd have been very surprised if an adult friend of theirs couldn't go a couple of hours without having fizzy pop.

Someone upthread referred to it as an "emotional support bottle", and I think that is how I see it.

Needmorelego · 12/01/2023 12:28

@AreOttersJustWetCats if adults can eat a meal without having to drink fizzy pop why can't adults eat a meal without wine?
Why do they drink wine? What's the purpose of wine?
There is no purpose. They drink it because they like it.
And - amazingly - some people like 7up.

AreOttersJustWetCats · 12/01/2023 12:30

I can (and often do) eat a meal without wine. Not sure what your point is.

There is no drink that I am so dependent on that I would take it with me specially to a meal.

Frabbits · 12/01/2023 12:31

As a general rule, people should drink whatever the hell they want and people who judge others on that basis are twats.