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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bring a fizzy drink to a meal?

776 replies

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 19:40

So, I visited my boyfriend's family for the first time on Sunday

His mum cooked for us all. Lovely meal. When I arrived, I came with a bottle of lemonade. I said this to his mum ''I've got this, can I pop it in the fridge? Please help yourselves''

When having dinner, I asked for a glass (there were only small wine glasses on the table).

His mum said 'but we're having wine?'

I said no thanks, I'll just have some of the lemonade please'

She seemed really Confused at me!

We had a nice meal and then my boyfriend mentioned to me today 'Mum was really confused about your lemonade! Maybe don't do that next time Wink'

AIBU to think it's fine? It wasn't just for me. Anyone could've helped themselves but it was so strange. It was as if I had placed 10g of coke on the table and told everyone to help themselves to a line

Very odd indeed surely?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Aquarius1234 · 10/01/2023 21:03

bluetongue · 10/01/2023 21:02

I bought Coke Zero to Christmas lunch. I also brought alcohol but was driving so only had a couple of drinks the whole afternoon. Does that make me weird?

That seems normal. As lots of houses don't have coke or lemonade regularly even at Xmas.

Womencanlift · 10/01/2023 21:03

Feelallright · 10/01/2023 20:47

Of course it’s not world-ending. But it’s a bit lacking… Even if you were eating in a pub, you wouldn’t drink those drinks with an actual meal. They’re fine with a packet of crisps. It’s irrelevant that the OP wanted lemonade - and I don’t think 7Up is lemonade, by the way - it’s not the done thing. It’s like wanting ketchup all over the food that’s been made for you. You just don’t.

Show quote history

What is 7 Up then if it’s not lemonade?

Fairydustandsparklylights · 10/01/2023 21:03

This reply has been deleted

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100% this!! You sound very immature. If my DS’s 17 year old girlfriend turned up with a bottle of 7up, no problem. If an adult did then it’s just a bit odd. Take something nice as it’s meant to be to share - there’s lots of nice lemonades or presses in a glass bottles. It’s polite to take a bottle of wine as a gift. You aren’t family yet, give it a bit of time and you will be. It sounds like you don’t care what type of impression you make. Plus saying “they live in Billericay ffs” is so rude. Just because they live in Essex, doesn’t mean they lack class or good manners. It’s not Gavin and Stacey ffs 😆

youshouldnthaveasked · 10/01/2023 21:04

Your boyfriend’s mother is a bad host not to have considered that some of us wouldn’t want to drink wine or water.

Your boyfriend was strange too and not very supportive.

I’d be seriously considering whether this man and his rude family were people I’d want to have a long term future with.

GooglyEyeballs · 10/01/2023 21:04

To be honest I would find it weird too. It comes across a little bit childish. But I guess everyone has their quirks!

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 10/01/2023 21:04

Lol but you haven’t made a good impression? Your BF has had already passed on a message from his mum she wasn’t impressed and she handed the juice back to you at the door

The mother sounds rude and he sounds a bit wet.

Original poster
mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 21:04

toocold54 · 10/01/2023 21:02

Don’t want to sound mean OP but I think this was probably considered a bit chavvy which is why you got a raised eyebrow. In some circles it’s seen as a faux pas to drink anything other than wine or water at supper.

If someone thinks lemonade is chavvy than I’d rather not associate with them and I definitely wouldn’t be going to any dinners with them.

Maybe this is a red flag OP that you should keep an eye on.

Most people wouldn’t give a shit about what’s ‘high class’ and would get a soft drink in for anyone who doesn’t drink alcohol.

Looking down your nose at someone for drinking lemonade is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard.

Yep I agree. A shame a boyfriend is lovely but raised by his nan because his mum was very young at the time according to him

OP posts:
pelargoniums · 10/01/2023 21:04

Sparklingbrook · 10/01/2023 20:59

There's more than one thread about fizzy drinks? What's happening on the Diet Coke thread?

Show quote history

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4285750-is-it-rude-to-do-this-when-invited-for-dinner

Similar to this one, actually: giant bottles of pop as an emotional support animal.

roarfeckingroarr · 10/01/2023 21:04

@Cuwins fair enough. Different circles.

AnnieSnap · 10/01/2023 21:05

@mapofthechicks what have you said to your boyfriend about his weird comment in defence of his mother?

Needmorelego · 10/01/2023 21:05

For those asking - 7up is Lemon and Lime.
Sprite is the same.
(Just made by rival companies)

Original poster
mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 21:06

@AnnieSnap do you mean in response to the baby update? I haven't replied to that one yet

OP posts:
thinkhorsesnotzebra · 10/01/2023 21:06

RachelGreep87 · 10/01/2023 20:36

7 up is quite working class, particularly in a 2 liter bottle.
M&S have some nice soft drinks in glass bottles, these would be a bit more presentable.

And 'working class' is a bad thing?

You are showing your lack of class right there.

Original poster
mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 21:06

Needmorelego · 10/01/2023 21:05

For those asking - 7up is Lemon and Lime.
Sprite is the same.
(Just made by rival companies)

7UP is usually a bit cheaper

OP posts:
Feelallright · 10/01/2023 21:06

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 20:54

@Eyerollcentral if you are right and I haven't made a good impression because I had a bottle of soft drink with me, it's not a family I'd want to be a part of. It is upright, and so over the top. Why on earth is it a problem? It has no impact on anyone at all.

My own family would laugh their heads off that someone would be raising eyebrows because they dared take along a soft drink. How rude!

It has an impact because you’ve broken the social conventions -which are there to help people rub along together without upsetting things too much. It’s fine for you to do what you want, but you have to realise you might upset people and break general etiquette, which you have done. If you are OK with that, so be it. But it indicates that you don’t know how to behave properly, especially in public. It’s not about being uptight. It’s not about “daring to take a soft drink”. Taking along a soft drink is fine. But you took a bottle of 7Up…

WandaWonder · 10/01/2023 21:06

What you did was fine, I would have just got you a glass, and what he said was odd

I am not a wine with meal person but have it if offered but it should not be expected that everyone has too

WandaWonder · 10/01/2023 21:07

AnnieFarmer · 10/01/2023 19:53

The lemonade is fine. His mum subsequently mentioning it to her son and saying that she was ‘a bit ‘confused’ (as he phrased it)’ and ‘maybe don't do that again’ would bother me a whole lot more.

Yes all this

BreatheAndFocus · 10/01/2023 21:07

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 21:03

@BreatheAndFocus I didn't. Read my post again

I read your OP and some of your subsequent posts but I didn’t see where you said you brought wine as well as 7Up. Apologies if I missed that.

Were you worried they might not have any fizzy drinks or non-alcoholic options?

NancyJoan · 10/01/2023 21:07

I genuinely don’t know anyone who drinks soda/squash/juice with a meal. My DC have never had drinks like that with meals at home. I would be surprised if a guest wanted a fizzy drink, and would also be surprised if they arrived ready for dinner with a big bottle of 7up. I wouldn’t say anything, either to you or after you left. That is rude.

Original poster
mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 21:07

@Feelallright I think there's something very wrong if someone is upset by a bottle of soft drink, and then that very upset leads them to believe and declare I don't care about the order of things or care for anyone

OP posts:
phoenixrosehere · 10/01/2023 21:07

LubaLuca · 10/01/2023 20:50

All those who think there's no right or wrong drink to bring to someone's house, what would you think if your son's girlfriend turned up for Sunday lunch with 2l of milk or a jar of Bovril? Surely 'a bit weird' would run through your head, and you'd possibly mention it to your son afterwards.

In most households 2l of pop would be an unusual accompaniment to Sunday lunch. It would raise eyebrows, which is seemingly all his mum did at the time.

I would think nothing of it because I would want my son’s future spouse to be comfortable in our home. I would have also ASKED my son what the likes /dislikes, allergies, drink preferences, etc before they even came so they wouldn’t have felt they needed to bring a beverage in the first place nor would I have expected a hostess gift.

Thepossibility · 10/01/2023 21:07

I think it's rude to only offer wine or water.
It's like having a vegetarian guest to dinner and only offering the meat dish everyone else is eating or a cucumber.

Sparklingbrook · 10/01/2023 21:08

So Sprite is the same as 7UP? I did not know that.

Needmorelego · 10/01/2023 21:08

@mapofthechicks I think the last '7up' I bought was a Aldi/Lidl version. It probably had a really silly name cos their own brand stuff does.
Gonna have to Google....

youshouldnthaveasked · 10/01/2023 21:08

Feelallright · 10/01/2023 21:06

It has an impact because you’ve broken the social conventions -which are there to help people rub along together without upsetting things too much. It’s fine for you to do what you want, but you have to realise you might upset people and break general etiquette, which you have done. If you are OK with that, so be it. But it indicates that you don’t know how to behave properly, especially in public. It’s not about being uptight. It’s not about “daring to take a soft drink”. Taking along a soft drink is fine. But you took a bottle of 7Up…

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WTAF 😱😂😂 behaving improperly for bringing 7UP, yes call the police immediately

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