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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bring a fizzy drink to a meal?

776 replies

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 19:40

So, I visited my boyfriend's family for the first time on Sunday

His mum cooked for us all. Lovely meal. When I arrived, I came with a bottle of lemonade. I said this to his mum ''I've got this, can I pop it in the fridge? Please help yourselves''

When having dinner, I asked for a glass (there were only small wine glasses on the table).

His mum said 'but we're having wine?'

I said no thanks, I'll just have some of the lemonade please'

She seemed really Confused at me!

We had a nice meal and then my boyfriend mentioned to me today 'Mum was really confused about your lemonade! Maybe don't do that next time Wink'

AIBU to think it's fine? It wasn't just for me. Anyone could've helped themselves but it was so strange. It was as if I had placed 10g of coke on the table and told everyone to help themselves to a line

Very odd indeed surely?

OP posts:
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5
Cuwins · 10/01/2023 20:57

roarfeckingroarr · 10/01/2023 20:55

I find it weird when adults drink fizzy drinks / squash with a meal. What's wrong with mineral or sparkling water?

What's wrong with squash or a fizzy drink?
I don't mind tap water and would happily have that if that's what was offered- never sparkling though, but I prefer squash. We never have fizzy at home but I would normally have that if out for a meal.
Everyone likes different things.

toocold54 · 10/01/2023 20:58

I can't wait to unleash the horror when next time I arrive with my signature alcoholic beverage

WKD. Blue. Big fuck off bottle. 2 for £5.50 in Iceland

YESSSS OP!!!

Original poster
mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 20:58

Norberta · 10/01/2023 20:57

Don’t want to sound mean OP but I think this was probably considered a bit chavvy which is why you got a raised eyebrow. In some circles it’s seen as a faux pas to drink anything other than wine or water at supper.

Hilarious considering they're as far from classy as you can get given their background. It's snotty.

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 10/01/2023 20:58

I don't drink alcohol.
I will drink stuff like j20 or Shlur - or even tap water 😱 - if I have too.
But you know what - I LIKE fizzy drinks. Pepsi Max - love it. 7up, Spirit, Dr Pepper...yes even Irn Bru - love them too.
When I go to stay at my mother in law's the Londis round the corner sells the cans of all the flavours of Barrs drinks. Cherryade, Limeade, Pineappleade etc that my local shops don't sell.
One of the first things I do when we go to stay is nip round Londis and get my supply in.
Amazingly I can also taste my food even if I am chugging on a can of Cherryade 🤣
OP - your boyfriend's family are the weird ones.

AnnieSnap · 10/01/2023 20:58

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 10/01/2023 20:28

Bringing chocolates but not specifying that they're solely to be consumed by the boyfriend's mother is rude?

Mmmkay.

Show quote history

I think @Brefugee was saying that ‘tongue in cheek’ i.e. joking

BreatheAndFocus · 10/01/2023 20:59

You were invited to a meal. Bringing 7Up looked like you were bringing that as a gift for the host, so yes it did look weird. If you only drink fizzy drinks that’s fine, but you should have taken along a bottle of wine for the host and your 7Up which you could either have explained as ‘a soft drink option for everyone’ or by saying you preferred to drink non-alcoholic so had brought that.

Sparklingbrook · 10/01/2023 20:59

pelargoniums · 10/01/2023 20:57

I’d be confused by someone bringing a big bottle of pop to a dinner too, really. Bottle of mixer to a party or barbecue, understandable, but a dinner party? As a PP said, it’s like showing up with a bottle of ketchup, or a Findus crispy pancake and asking for that instead of what you’re served. They were hosting and chose to offer wine and water: an alcoholic and non-alcoholic option. So it’s not like you’d have gone thirsty. And they specifically said not to bring anything! It looks a bit like you can’t manage an hour or two without a fizzy drink, like a toddler.

This does remind me of the Diet Coke thread, right down to calling it fizzy.

There's more than one thread about fizzy drinks? What's happening on the Diet Coke thread?

Lovesacake · 10/01/2023 20:59

I’m a big fan of fizzy drinks at lunchtime, but this thread has made me realise that I’ve assumed there’s any unwritten rule not to bring your own fizzy drink to a meal unless you know the person REALLY well. I knew my partner’s parents for 7 years before I started bringing my own fizzy to lunch, and I’ve only recently started taking to my best friends house and I’ve known her 30 years 😂. Have never thought it about before today but I think subconsciously I decided that fizzy drinks needed a really long lead in period 😂

Original poster
mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 20:59

BreatheAndFocus · 10/01/2023 20:59

You were invited to a meal. Bringing 7Up looked like you were bringing that as a gift for the host, so yes it did look weird. If you only drink fizzy drinks that’s fine, but you should have taken along a bottle of wine for the host and your 7Up which you could either have explained as ‘a soft drink option for everyone’ or by saying you preferred to drink non-alcoholic so had brought that.

I said in my OP I was offering it as a casual soft drink option for everyone to help themselves to

OP posts:
Eyerollcentral · 10/01/2023 21:00

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 20:58

Hilarious considering they're as far from classy as you can get given their background. It's snotty.

Show quote history

You sound incredibly snotty. Why do you keep going on about their background?

AreOttersJustWetCats · 10/01/2023 21:00

I don't get the comments about 7up being working class. I'm WC, and wouldn't bring a fizzy drink to a meal. If I didn't want wine I'd ask them for something non-alcoholic and drink water if nothing else available.

If I ended up drinking water, I'd offer to bring something non-alcoholic to drink the second time I went there for a meal. (It wouldn't be 7up though).

roarfeckingroarr · 10/01/2023 21:00

@Cuwins I just think they're for kids. I don't drink fizzy drinks or squash, my friends don't either. I would t say anything but would find it odd.

2FelisCatus · 10/01/2023 21:00

Oh dear. It was a bit of an odd thing to do but not the end of the world. It would sort of be like showing up with fruit shoots to a dinner party. You'd have been better off letting your boyfriend know to let the mum know that you don't drink and letting her cater for you. I wouldn't get bent out of shape over it. Just handle it differently next time. Bring wine/flowers/choc and let her cater for non-alcoholic beverages.

BreatheAndFocus · 10/01/2023 21:01

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 20:59

I said in my OP I was offering it as a casual soft drink option for everyone to help themselves to

Show quote history

Which is great. But the problem is that you only brought that. That’s what looked weird. If you’d taken both no-one would have commented.

Xmasgrinchywinchy · 10/01/2023 21:01

Bit weird to take your own drink to lunch regardless. Surely the host has soft drinks. When you take wine, it’s a gift to the host and I would never assume it would be drunk at the meal, I’d provide a range of soft and alcoholic drinks

Aquarius1234 · 10/01/2023 21:01

I assume you don't like mineral water/ tap water?
And didn't want to be stuck with nothing to drink??

Bigdamnheroes · 10/01/2023 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SpongeBob2022 · 10/01/2023 21:01

Im not really sure...

If I was going to the sort of party where everyone brings their own bottle I would bring a soft drink with me because I wouldn't want to turn up with nothing even though I wasn't drinking.

For a dinner like this I wouldn't bring my own soft drink to someone's house....I'd see they were drinking wine and just have water. I'd expect water to be on offer anyway though.

I think taking chocolates was fine.

BreatheAndFocus · 10/01/2023 21:01

Both = 7Up plus wine

bluetongue · 10/01/2023 21:02

I bought Coke Zero to Christmas lunch. I also brought alcohol but was driving so only had a couple of drinks the whole afternoon. Does that make me weird?

toocold54 · 10/01/2023 21:02

Don’t want to sound mean OP but I think this was probably considered a bit chavvy which is why you got a raised eyebrow. In some circles it’s seen as a faux pas to drink anything other than wine or water at supper.

If someone thinks lemonade is chavvy than I’d rather not associate with them and I definitely wouldn’t be going to any dinners with them.

Maybe this is a red flag OP that you should keep an eye on.

Most people wouldn’t give a shit about what’s ‘high class’ and would get a soft drink in for anyone who doesn’t drink alcohol.

Looking down your nose at someone for drinking lemonade is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard.

Original poster
mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 21:02

You sound incredibly snotty. Why do you keep going on about their background?

Because it's ridiculous and people have mentioned it more than once on here that it must be a 'class thing', suggesting then that they're a bit classier. They are the same breed as me, our grandparents or great grandparents from around East London and moved to Essex nearer the 70s. I know this because my boyfriend mentioned his nan still lives in the Isle of Dogs, my own nan lives 10 minutes down the road from there.

OP posts:
Cuwins · 10/01/2023 21:02

roarfeckingroarr · 10/01/2023 21:00

@Cuwins I just think they're for kids. I don't drink fizzy drinks or squash, my friends don't either. I would t say anything but would find it odd.

The only adult I can think of I know who doesn't drink some form of fizzy drink is my mum and that's because she has massive stomach issues and can't tolerate artificial sweeteners or too much sugar.
Strangely several kids I know dont drink any form of fizzy drink and would prefer water!

UsuallySuze · 10/01/2023 21:02

Yanbu. However my mum would not be able to cope with this at all - any of it - so I can well imagine how it went. She’d just be baffled by anyone a) not drinking wine unless for medical reasons; b) turning up with a drink for themselves rather than drinking what the host offered; c) that drink being 7up 😭

Original poster
mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 21:03

@BreatheAndFocus I didn't. Read my post again

OP posts: