If you needed to leave the country quickly...

[need2escape]

And as quietly as possible, where would you start?

Name change and shameless post here for traffic.

Not doing anything illegal such as child abduction. Just may need to leave the country as quickly as possible and return to my home country.

No family here to help, some friends but not sure how much they could assist.

Own house which is mortgaged, car on finance, small loan, credit cards, phone contracts, the usual.

And my job.

House full of possessions I wouldn't really need to take with me.

Where would you begin?

Sometimes you just need to read the thread before commenting!

You could approach an estate agent in a neighbouring area, explain the situation and say that you will give the buyer a discount of £1500 or something to cover the cost of clearing the house because this is a very very quick sale required.

If I were you, I'd be working out what I need to bring and if it fits in a rucksack you keep it, otherwise, bring it to a charity shop/clothes recycling bin. Clear EVERYTHING out, leaving just enough to get by until the last minute. Then I would bin everything that is left.

Being very practical, you'll probably need to submit electricity and gas meter readings before you go so you don't get charged for services you're not using.

If you went to NI you could get the train down to Dublin and fly from there to any EU country and onwards to Australia or even directly (I think with one layover in the far East). Would that be an option for you? Or you could get to NI, then on a train to Dublin and Dublin to Rosslare, get on the ferry to France (think there might be an option to get to Spain or Portugal by boat now from Ireland) and then the landmass that is Europe is your oyster.

Good luck.

Op
Are you an Australian citizen?

the reason I ask is if you struggle to
fly, there are some countries you could get to that if you gave birth in, would automatically give your citizenship to the baby. www.australian-embassy.net/australian-children-born-abroad.html and in those countries there would be no British father to lay claim.

I hope you get out before that though. I would pack up what little I could. Get to Aus, live off the grace of family and worry about the rest after the baby is safely born in Australia.

Lots of cars now are worth more than you paid due to low availability, do a we buy any car quote and take it back to your local dealership they will give you a price. If you put £5k down you’ll most likely have enough to clear the debt.

I think the fact you are heavily pregnant and need to fly is your biggest issue. Find out the latest possible date you can fly and work backwards. Homes can be sold from abroad and people will buy with a part finished bathroom. Or pay someone to finish it, put on a credit card and rent it. Make sure you take as much paperwork with you as possible and it can then be done when you are in Aus.

Nrtft just OPs updates

It definitely sounds like the best thing is to take early maternity and leave for Aus. Could you even go on sick leave now? Or do you have holiday leave to use up? If you have the baby here then your going have to deal with custody issues here, then you will have the whole Hague convention which he could use to stop you taking the baby back to Aus.

The car I don’t know how it works as I’ve never bought a car on finance but could you not finish the contract early at a financial loss?

The house I think I would just leave as is. You could always arrange for someone to come in after you leave to pack it all up. Either put it in storage or ship it all to Aus. They will pack up even the tiniest of things. I’ve moved internationally several times, three times we have used movers to pack up. They will literally pack every single item in the house. Each times I had intentions to do a clear out before they arrived but never did, it was far easier to clear out as I was unpacking. One of the occasions was moving from New Zealand, it cost about $9k (NZ) 8 years ago to pack up a 3 bedroom house and ship everything to the UK.

You could arrange this after your in Aus, just leave keys with someone you trust.

As for selling you could sell as is. Or if you wanted to rent ask any agent your with for tradesmen recommendations and ask the agents to get them in to fix what needs fixing for tenants to move in. They will more than likely be fine if they are getting the business.

You also have the opportunity to come back after baby is born to sort things yourself, making sure you leave baby in Aus with your family.

I think my priority would be leaving asap without telling anyone of my plans, that can be done after. I’d worry about everything else once I’m home. Good luck x

You can ask an estate agent to market your property discretely. I actually had this conversation this morning but for different reasons. Sell below market price and you’ll get a quick sale but wouldn’t be completed by February. You could instruct a solicitor here and almost everything is done by email these days anyway.
For furniture, goods you want to keep you could get a storage unit but they’re not cheap. Charities, house clearance will take stuff or you could sell online.

If you think your partner is watching you I’d go to a “wedding” or engagement or hen weekend in another area. E.g Devon then you get a flight from Exeter airport, Cambridge you go from Stansted, Wales you flit from Cardiff. Fly to Schipol or Paris and onto Australia from there. Get rid of your phone before you get to any airport, get another and switch off locations.

Good luck, I hope everything goes well.

I would put the house on the market asap. It might sell quicker than you think. You can deal with a solicitor mainly via email from Oz. It’s not like you ever see conveyancing solicitors face to face. Explain your situation to the state agent and someone may want all your stuff especially if their FTB. Every house I’ve ever sold, the buyers have said can you leave the sofa, cooker, kingsize bed etc.

This is what I'd do.

Well, if you were my friend I would help you pack up important stuff you want to take/ship and arrange storage or sale of the rest. There are companies who specialise in house clearances who would come and take a look around and make you an offer for furniture etc.
if you’re putting it up for sale I’d leave it with at least basic furnishings until completion so that it is staged for for viewings.

Can you get some close friends together? If you have a ‘team’ around you I think this might feel far less daunting.

I would go on maternity leave as early as possible, including taking all of your annual leave from work and fly out to Australia on your first day of leave.

If this gives you a bit of time still working, speak to an estate agent, give them keys to the property but ask them not to list until you’re out of the country.

You can then try to sell the property etc while you’re abroad.

Regarding the PCP, would we buy any car give you enough to pay off the balance? If so, do that. It may be worth doing that anyway and then paying as much as you can over until it’s paid off.

Your priority should be getting to Australia as soon as possible and the rest can be dealt with later.

Not all lawyers are like that. I've had two in succession (different firms) both fast, highly attentive, and brilliantly efficient. Never put a foot wrong.

What about a property management company to handle leasing your house out (furnished?) so you could pack and take essentials; put items into storage, etc? That way you'd have an income to cover expenses and not make large financial decisions in desperation.
Good luck to you.

If you went to NI you could get the train down to Dublin and fly from there to any EU country and onwards to Australia or even directly (I think with one layover in the far East). Would that be an option for you? Or you could get to NI, then on a train to Dublin and Dublin to Rosslare, get on the ferry to France (think there might be an option to get to Spain or Portugal by boat now from Ireland) and then the landmass that is Europe is your oyster.

WTF? She doesn't need to go from England to NI to Dublin to Europe via trains planes and fucking automobiles....this isn't a JAmes Bond film! She doesn't need to go to Europe, she doesn't need a passport for the baby. She just needs to get home to Australia.

Why are people making this so bizarrely complicated?

I agree. Get to Australia. Sorting everything from there will be difficult but if you give birth in the UK, you could end up stuck here for the next 18 years (and possibly longer if your child thinks of him/herself as British and doesn’t want to leave).

I would say don’t tell anyone until you get to Australia - too much risk of the baby’s father finding out. Maybe leave a set of keys with a friend or neighbour for your ‘short holiday in [UK location] before the baby comes’.

You can probably get away with selling the car in we buy any car do sort finance out.

Aussie here. You absolutely need to leave.

Put your flight on a credit card and come home.

Speak with a trustworthy lawyer about instructing them to attend to your legal affairs and be paid from the house sale.

You can’t risk your ex putting a lien on your house once he knows what is going on.

I would start by finding an aggressive real estate agent and asking how long it would take to sell without being publicly advertised.

You can’t risk staying. I’m in an abusive relationship and it’s hell. Please get out.

If your house is going to be empty for a long period you will need to speak to your insurers. Normal home cover is probably invalidated if the house is empty for more than 30 days, although insurers requirements vary. You may need a specialist policy.

I would love to here the other side to this drama, we are only hearing one side here!

you need to go sharpish.

before baby arrives. He can stop you, he can apply to court and stop you. So go quickly

you have really good advice on here

I would get your GP to sign you off sick as that will automatically trigger maternity leave at this stage. Then just go. Deal with it from Australia. And vanish from your abusive ex's life forever.

@need2escape dont forget to take your pregnancy medical records with you.

Take out a credit card and max out the limit for fast hard cash
Then on the quiet get an estate agent to sell the house and contents
Or an auction house
If he knows where you live then, someone will tip him off
Pay off credit card when house is sold
But in reality book a flight take your valuables and go
Your very near not being legally able to fly
Book a hotel room at the airport and go the next day

Check pregnancy restrictions on flights and plan to leave 10 days earlier than the latest they allow. Check to the actual day - is 36 weeks meaning up to 35+6, or 36+6?

Assuming this gives you enough time, go to the bank, tell them you're thinking of moving in with a friend/family for a couple of years while baby is small, change mortgage to a buy to let and pay off all debt/car and get house repairs done (over estimate the cost of house repairs to give you some immediate cash) with a single loan (massive assumption that bank will allow this due to equity in the house). Wouldn't at this stage give the information that the friend/family is overseas. If you can afford to, rent it out for 6 months/year or two - you might decide you want to come back.

Start getting rid of the small stuff right now. Sell everything for 25% less than you think you could get - ebay buy it now or facebook groups. Everything has a price and a couple of pounds for everything sold adds up and you need cash right now.

Good luck, and keep going even when you think that you can't keep going.

I had to leave the Uk with a time frame of 2.5 months as my DH got a new job in another country.
Its like a quite full on part time job but it’s perfectly doable.
My priority would be to rent my house out and sell my car. You could rent it part furnished. Usually the mortgage people don’t care as long as the mortgage is paid. Then it’s perfectly possible to sell the house remotely from Australia when you are ready. With the docu sign tool you don’t need to be in the same country.
If you are not too bothered you can probably sell/give away most of your possessions. That basically why we did.

OP Best of luck, and, as others have said, please try to leave the country asap.

The state of your house/the fact there's furniture etc might very well not be a problem.

I've recently had to help deal with selling two houses - one probate, another belonging to a very elderly person. For both, I did all business with estate agents and solicitors - apart from one initial meeting with each to prove ownership/identity/ satisfy checks re money-laundering - from hundreds of miles away (and one was in a different country). The estate agents showed prospective purchasers round. Solicitors and estate agents all took fees and charges from the proceeds of the sales - I did not have to pay a penny up front. When the purchasers of the probabte property changed their mind about coooker/washing machine being left, the estate agent sent a person round to disconnect them and take them away, and then, very kindly, asked their office cleaner to pop round for an hour to tidy up any mess.

In the other example, a straightforward sale to a developer - the house had not been decorated etc for decades and needed new kitchen and bathroom - almost all furniture was left behind, including a few good quality but very unfashionable pieces. A dealer not only paid us a fair price for those, but said, 'if I can take anything else I fancy, as well, (he was most welcome!) I'll clear the whole place for free'.

I'd buy some heavy 18ct gold jewellery, none with stones, (on the credit card) and wear it on flight home. You can pay off the credit card when you sell the house. Then sell the gold in Australia.

It's way of transferring money.