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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh disapproves of coffee in bed?

301 replies

Yesterdaywasntreal · 10/01/2023 11:40

Please help settle a disagreement. Early mornings with dcs are proving challenging atm, therefore I have suggested bringing our Dulce Gusto pod machine up to the bedroom. This will mean i can enjoy a quick coffee before the chaos starts, rather than during or not at all. Dh thinks it should stay in the kitchen "where it belongs." He says coffee in bed is lazy. AIBU or should I be a rebel?

OP posts:
QuizteamAguillera · 10/01/2023 19:31

We have a coffee machine in the bedroom,so nice first thing to have a coffee in bed before getting up!

FrangipaniBlue · 10/01/2023 23:02

@Yesterdaywasntreal get yourself one of these:

thermos.co.uk/direct-drink-flask-470ml

No need to transfer to a cup
No risk of spillage on the sheets
No noise from a coffee machine
Stays hot for 10hrs

literally NOTHING your DH can find fault to complain about!

(I have one and it's amazing!)

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 10/01/2023 23:20

Off the back of this thread, when I was in Costco earlier I priced up one of those robot-looking Dolce Gusto things. They're only £40! I think I'm going to get one. For my bedroom.

Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 11/01/2023 12:44

@FrangipaniBlue thank you, I'll check it out!

@ChiefWiggumsBoy i'm pleased you're joining the coffee in bedroom club! I don't think you'll look back! They have all sorts of different pods and so much nicer than kettle instant.

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HoppingAndHoping · 11/01/2023 12:54

Well, I personally wouldn't want tea (or coffee) in bed/a coffee machine in the bedroom.

But that's just me and not relevant in regards to your situation.

However:

Yes, apparently he has too much work to do. I always make his coffee for both of us, and get dcs sorted, ready and breakfast. To be fair he does start work early so will do some from home before heading to office.

Based on this?

Have the machine wherever you want it. Or tell him that he should start to get up earlier to make you one.

WellTidy · 11/01/2023 12:58

This takes me right back to when my youngest was a baby. I bottle fed him, and he spent in our bedroom. In the room that later became his bedroom, I had a little fridge and a microwave, so I could warm his milk during the night when he woke, which meant he didn’t cry for as long and wake up our eldest.

And another advantage was that I could make myself a coffee (I also had a kettle in there) in the mornings without going downstairs and therefore giving permission to the eldest to get up (he’s always been an early riser) and start the day. It was bliss.

WellTidy · 11/01/2023 12:59

he slept in our bedroom

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 11/01/2023 13:09

Yesterdaywasntreal · 11/01/2023 12:44

@FrangipaniBlue thank you, I'll check it out!

@ChiefWiggumsBoy i'm pleased you're joining the coffee in bedroom club! I don't think you'll look back! They have all sorts of different pods and so much nicer than kettle instant.

I'm saying this by the way knowing that DH makes me a coffee every morning and brings it upstairs to wake me up at 815. He gets up and does the kids (mine are much older but he still makes their lunches) and gets ready for work then I run them all in and come home to WFH.

But I did run it by him and he's fine with it. As he should be.

liveforsummer · 11/01/2023 13:12

I don't think a bedroom is the correct place for a coffee machine but I can't explain why 😆. Personally I'd go and get one and take it back to bed if that's where you prefer to enjoy it.

Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 11/01/2023 13:45

'I don't think a bedroom is the correct place for a coffee machine but I can't explain why 😆. Personally I'd go and get one and take it back to bed if that's where you prefer to enjoy it.'

@liveforsummer

It's not that i prefer to drink it in bed, more I prefer it as soon as wake up so I can deal with the morning better. I'm sleep deprived atm so have to peel myself out of bed in the morning. This way I'd be able to sit on side of bed and have it when wake up. At present getting one in the kitchen isn't working, as one creak and the dcs are up, and then I don't get it hot.

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Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 11/01/2023 13:47

@ChiefWiggumsBoy it sounds like you're both very busy, maybe this way you could both enjoy it. In my opinion life needs to be made easier where ever it can be. Being a parent is lovely, but certainly exhausting at times.

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Cococomellon · 11/01/2023 13:48

I'm with your DH.

Either go downstairs for coffee or take a bottle of water upstairs at night so you've got something to drink when you wake up. I have a child who doesn't sleep well and I wouldn't do this.

Also I think it would be fine if you both agreed but as your DH doesn't I don't think it would be fair to impose this.

Cococomellon · 11/01/2023 13:49

I also don't think it would be temporary as you'd get used to it

Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 11/01/2023 13:53

@WellTidy that was a brilliant solution. Going up and down the stairs, sleep deprived, and with crying babies waking up the whole house is awful and just not practical. I breastfed dc1 so didn't have an issue. However dc2 was bottle fed so I ended up making his feeds in the bedroom. Dh was funnily okay with that after acouple of nights of alternating going downstairs!

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Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 11/01/2023 13:58

*'I'm with your DH.

Either go downstairs for coffee or take a bottle of water upstairs at night so you've got something to drink when you wake up. I have a child who doesn't sleep well and I wouldn't do this.

Also I think it would be fine if you both agreed but as your DH doesn't I don't think it would be fair to impose this.'*

@Cococomellon it's not the drink I need, it's the caffeine and preferably hot.

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Quisquam · 11/01/2023 14:03

DH and I take in turns each day to set our alarm for 8.15 am - one goes down to feed the cats, and make us a hot drink to have in bed, while we read the papers online. Grown up DC, and we wfh. I have considered a travel kettle upstairs, but the cats would still agitate for their breakfasts, now it’s their routine!

bringmetheheadofpastaalfredo · 11/01/2023 16:35

Cococomellon · 11/01/2023 13:48

I'm with your DH.

Either go downstairs for coffee or take a bottle of water upstairs at night so you've got something to drink when you wake up. I have a child who doesn't sleep well and I wouldn't do this.

Also I think it would be fine if you both agreed but as your DH doesn't I don't think it would be fair to impose this.

Wow, so OP can only have her coffee in her room from her machine in her house IF her husband allows it?
Should she ask his permission for everything?

What a load of bollocks. She doesn't want to downstairs and so she doesn't have to, so what if you wouldn't?

TheWernethWife · 11/01/2023 21:55

We have two Tassimo machines, one in the kitchen and one in the bedroom. Bedroom one sits on a chest of drawers, doesn't take up too much room.

Cococomellon · 11/01/2023 22:01

Are you ok @bringmetheheadofpastaalfredo ? The whole point of this thread is for us to share opinions! 🙃

I wasn't saying she needs DH permission but they should agree and she is the one wanting something out of the ordinary...

TowerRaven7 · 11/01/2023 22:05

I’ve been drinking my first cup in the shower for over 30 years!

oviraptor21 · 11/01/2023 22:13

I've never understood people who wake up and then waste half an hour before getting out of bed. In my world you leave it till the last possible minute before waking up AND getting out of bed, thereby maximising sleep time - which is what a bed is for.
So on that score YABU.

Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 11/01/2023 23:22

'I've never understood people who wake up and then waste half an hour before getting out of bed. In my world you leave it till the last possible minute before waking up AND getting out of bed, thereby maximising sleep time - which is what a bed is for.
So on that score YABU.'

Who said anything about wasting half am hour?! 😂i wish! Wasting half an hour would be creeping up and downstairs with coffee trying not to wake the dcs! A coffee right after I've woken and maximised my sleep is far more productive IMO.

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Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 11/01/2023 23:23

@TowerRaven7 good on you!

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Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 11/01/2023 23:25

*'Cococomellon · Today 22:01

Are you ok @bringmetheheadofpastaalfredo ? The whole point of this thread is for us to share opinions! 🙃

I wasn't saying she needs DH permission but they should agree and she is the one wanting something out of the ordinary...'*

Drinking a coffee in bedroom is out of the ordinary 😂😂 'she' might just be a rebel and have a biscuit with it too shhh

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Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 11/01/2023 23:28

@bringmetheheadofpastaalfredoi think I'll crack open some biscuits too, dh's lack of consent could mean a chalk line in the middle, I can have it on my side of the bedroom 😂

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