To tell DH to ride for Deliveroo in the evenings?

[Stackss]

Like everyone at the moment, we are struggling a bit with the cost of living. We aren't poor by any means (both in middle class jobs) but tbh we have overstretched ourselves wrt our mortgage and private school for 2 DC.

DH has always had his head in the sand when it comes to finances and assured me we could afford the mortgage and private school- and tbf we could prior to the current situation. DH is not willing to countenance any budget cuts such as looking at cheaper areas or state schools.

Frankly we need to bring in extra money to continue to afford our current lifestyle. WIBU to tell DH he will need to get out on his bike and do food deliveries for Deliveroo and Uber Eats to bring in funds if he isn't willing to cut back?

Why don't you get on your bike and do it yourself?

Because she is willing to economise. He is not.

Presumably because she is willing to sit down and look at ways to cut back?

I got an idea? You do it!

It's likely you'll need to do both.

Our deliveroo's are all delivered by cute little robots!!

How much does it pay? Would it be worth it?

Well you can’t tell him, no. You’re not his boss, you’re supposed to be a team. If you can’t afford private schooling then have a proper discussion about it like a team of adults with shared input into your family finances.

Why are you blaming him for telling you you could afford the massive mortgage if you could at the time? He didn’t know what was coming anymore than the rest of us did and you were equally responsible for these decisions.

He can’t opt out of difficult conversations, they need to be had. But you’re not going to get anywhere good by taking such an aggressive dictatorial tone. Open a spreadsheet, find a quiet calm moment and be brutally honest about how things are.

Why don't you do it?

Why him?

And stop the private schooling for a start!

"DH has always had his head in the sand when it comes to finances and assured me we could afford the mortgage and private school"

Why did you need him to assure you? Was your head in the sand too? You can't expect him to earn enough from deliveroo to cover school fees 🤣

Presumably, if you can afford a big mortgage and private schools, you're working jobs where this isn't practically feasible - either because time won't allow it or working contracts won't?

Would Deliveroo really make up the difference needed?

Can you unilaterally make economies - I guess it school, but are there other areas you can look at - gyms or clubs, food/ wine shopping?

The first step when cutting back isn't to take your children out of a school where they're settled, regardless of cost. Education is important.

Deliveroo is unlikely to bring in enough.

Besides, tell him??! You sound pretty controlling.

I don't know how much you think delivery riders earn - it's not going to be enough to cover huge gaps in your finances (which it sounds like there might be).

You'll need to economise in other ways!

I think you were jointly responsible for previous financial decisions and need to discuss how to over come your current difficulties like actual adults.

And I'm going to guess that, unless you are willing to do a significant number of hours on a second, low paid job, that it isn't going to make the difference.

A regular evening or weekend job for one of you might be an option, but personally I wouldn't pursue this in preference to moving to state schools, as it is the stuff that breaks people.

What is he willing to consider? No holidays? No going out? Cheaper shopping? No new clothing?
Get a spreadsheet of income and expenses and go through it together. If total expenses exceed total income you need to cut back somewhere but discuss and agree where. What do you both do? Would it not be better if more money is needed to look for a promotion/new role or some additional work in your profession (assuming your contract allows it)?

Deliveroo drivers/riders don’t get as much as you imagine if you think it’s going to pay for private school 😂

@LordSugarTits

My view at the time was that while the private school and expensive house were just affordable in 2019, we would have serious issues should circumstances change, as they have. I said we should prioritise the private education and go for a cheaper area.

DH was absolutely insistent that we could afford both and ultimately I gave in.

What’s a “middle class job”?

You really won't earn enough to make a difference. It makes a difference to people struggling to feed their children, not to afford private school. You have plenty of money, you're just spending it all.

To be honest if things are that bad cut back or look for a whole new job- £30 deliveroo wages won’t pay the private school bill.

You won't earn much compared to your outgoings

It sounds like (like for most people) you will need to cut back somewhere.

Holidays?
Gym memberships?

Move house or school?

Controlling