To tell DH to ride for Deliveroo in the evenings?

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Like everyone at the moment, we are struggling a bit with the cost of living. We aren't poor by any means (both in middle class jobs) but tbh we have overstretched ourselves wrt our mortgage and private school for 2 DC.

DH has always had his head in the sand when it comes to finances and assured me we could afford the mortgage and private school- and tbf we could prior to the current situation. DH is not willing to countenance any budget cuts such as looking at cheaper areas or state schools.

Frankly we need to bring in extra money to continue to afford our current lifestyle. WIBU to tell DH he will need to get out on his bike and do food deliveries for Deliveroo and Uber Eats to bring in funds if he isn't willing to cut back?

You're going to need to deliver a lot of pizza to cover private school fees x2

One way or another you need to act now. Otherwise, autumn will come and no money left to pay the bills....then what? Your house gets repossessed? Your DC gets thrown out of school? Doesn't really sound like Deliveroo alone will solve this! Very much sounds like living way beyond your means in the current climate.

its your idea, why can’t you do it?

They started in Milton Keynes in 2018 (?), but have spread to a few areas now.
They were handy in lockdown :)

'Tell' him?

I know what I'd be 'telling' my husband if he came across like you are

You do it x

Why don’t you just move to state schools?

How much more money would you need to bring in?

Another post from OP says her DC are twins in Year 11. In which case moving them to a non-paying sixth form would be a very normal and not disruptive thing to do, and OP is presumably not intending to take them out before GCSEs anyway.

What's the point? He wont even take your requests into account regarding joint finances, so he's hardly going to get a job because you tell him to, is he?
The only way you can get him to reduce spending is to keep your money separate and refuse to pay your share of the school fees/other unnecessary spending.

Take in some ironing hun? 💁🏻‍♀️

To earn £800 a month I reckon one would have to do maybe 60 hours a month. That’s 15 a week on top of a full time job. And don’t forget it’s very likely that the £800 will be taxed at 45% on the basis that if you have two kids in private school you are both additional rate taxpayers. Although if one of you is still in the 20% bracket you might clear £600. Otherwise it’d be more like £400, or £7 an hour. I really can’t see it being worthwhile.

This! Obvious solution.
You're going to have to put them into a state school.

I think you're reasonable to ask him, but I think it's also reasonable of him to decline. Working two jobs is physically and emotionally draining and while I get your predicament, ultimately you are both trying to live a lifestyle beyond your means - yes this includes private education.

Personally, I believe that you're both responsible for the situation you're in and haven't seen much to suggest otherwise - and think you need to sit down and put all options of cutting back on the table, including both downsizing the house and private education and come to an agreement on what goes. You need to remember with mortgage rates and the housing market, you may not make as much back on yours as you hope, or save as much on your monthly payments as you think, plus the additional costs of actually moving. I'm not saying the house downsizing is the wrong option but my more obvious choice would always be private education which would almost immediately save you thousands a year.

He may take the second job option, but the stress and toll it make take on him and your relationship absolutely needs to be considered.

Move kids to a state school. Use the £30k+ saved in fees for extra private tuition and overpayments on your mortgage.

So this is all an opportunity to go “I told you so. This is your fault”? No one could have predicted this particular set of circumstances so I think you’re BU.

I agree with the pp that you both need to accept ownership of your joint past financial decisions and discuss what to do like adults.

Calculate your shortfall and go from there.

If you're used to 'middle class' wages, a bit of extra income from deliveroo is not going to go very far I'm afraid. There's only so many hours in a day and after tax deductions I highly doubt he would earn £800. I'm reasonably hard working and I would find that an unreasonable amount of effort for little gain.

There are better ways to earn money than minimum wage insecure gig economy, if you are highly skilled.

What does your DH do for a living? Bear in mind professional roles often require that you say if you are working elsewhere and can have contractual terms to stop you, they don't want tired employees worrying about their other job.

You need to send him an email and lay out your concerns, which sounds justified and serious. And start selling stuff if you’ve got things that’ll make you quick cash. I go through phases chucking stuff on eBay and the more you do it the easier it gets.

I’d find his attitude incredibly frustrating but you both got yourselves here and you both need to work together to get out of it.

Do you work OP?

A second job isn't a bad Idea but better to find something you can do with the skills you already have especially if they are earning you a much better hourly rate. In fact any job with a set hourly rate is better than deliveroo, where you only earn if you get orders. He could earn well, he could earn nothing.

I think he would need a car of motorbike not a bicycle though

She’s says they both do. In the third line of her first post.

Which luckily, in this country, is completely free!

While I’m not adverse to you both taking on a second job as a temporary stop gap until the school year finishes and you can send the DC to a state sixth form, I think Deliveroo in the evening is a very bad idea.

Deliveroo in the evening/dark on a cycle is a high risk job. Real risk of being hit & seriously injured or killed by a motor vehicle.