To tell DH to ride for Deliveroo in the evenings?

[Stackss]

Like everyone at the moment, we are struggling a bit with the cost of living. We aren't poor by any means (both in middle class jobs) but tbh we have overstretched ourselves wrt our mortgage and private school for 2 DC.

DH has always had his head in the sand when it comes to finances and assured me we could afford the mortgage and private school- and tbf we could prior to the current situation. DH is not willing to countenance any budget cuts such as looking at cheaper areas or state schools.

Frankly we need to bring in extra money to continue to afford our current lifestyle. WIBU to tell DH he will need to get out on his bike and do food deliveries for Deliveroo and Uber Eats to bring in funds if he isn't willing to cut back?

Deliveroo, Just Eat, Amazon Logistics couriers and the rest, make bugger all money. They're usually all given small amounts for driving around all over the place, and there are so many waiting in the wings to take up empty delivery slots. Amazon is particularly bad because you will use up so much fuel and not even break even.

I find it revolting how people are clearly comfortable and want for nothing, but seem to think something like delivery services will be helpful to their already generous income. Maybe it'll open your eyes as to how the rest of us to survive whilst you're pitting your twins off against each other for school achievements.

Middle class job means advertising, banker, lawyer, doctor, headteacher…

best way to save on school fees- management position in the DCs private school! That is the trick. 50 per cent -100 per cent off school fees, typically.

I am a management consultant and DH works in PR/communications.

I'd care more about your opinion if you were able to read comments like:

Utter ludicrous that you’re trying to live a middle class lifestyle on a working class income.

Time to sell the big house, put the kids in normal schools, and come down a peg or two. Can you still call yourself middle class if you have less savings in the bank than people working minimum wage?

At parents evening don’t you ever feel like you don’t actually belong there with all those wealthy people when you need to borrow money to pay those fees? (Honestly, this one is actually disgusting.)Or maybe you did read them and don't see anything wrong with them, even that last one. Which might actually be worse. The poster isn't responding to OP being financially foolish, which of course she is. She's responding to what she sees, due to obvious resentful projection, as the OP being a class impostor. And that's what she doesn't like.I know MN is totally class obsessed, so it doesn't surprise me. But it's pretty horrible. Thanks for your opinion, then, to which I give all the respect it deserves.

So she mentioned class, what’s classist about the comments? You are hugely aggressive and ultra sensitive.

It was the OP that brought class into it in the first place.

Nice choice of eminently hateable and also a bit useless MC careers. And you're certainly getting engagement. Chapeau!

All well and good that your family is 'happy' to contribute. But what is YOUR 'contribution' to help ameliorate your family's financial shortfall?

👏👏👏

That's so cool!

Maybe the twins should do deliveroo? It might incentivize them to work for their GCSEs without being paid for it, as they realise that having better qualifications will open up more job options?

<two threads solved for the price of one>

@Stackss

I would kindly suggest you use any free time you have, not easy I know what with the intensive supervision of aggressive revision regime in place for 'the twins', to teach your husband a few tricks for his new job.

You could teach him to hover after presenting the Chow Mein to elicit as large a tip as possible. He should blow on his hands whilst hovering to indicate just how cold it is in order to garner (greater financial) sympathy from the recipient.

When delivering to schoolmates of 'the twins' he should be very friendly (without being pervy, of course) and entertain them with his 'Dad jokes' and remind them 'the twins' love that sort of humour.

When delivering to the parents of the schoolmates of 'the twins' he should avoid all eye contact and pretend he's his own brother/cousin if actively challenged. The parents will be obviously and extremely awkward when faced with him at their front door. The fact he's clutching one jalfrezi, one dhansak, one bhuna (to be shared by their own twins) and assorted accompaniments will increase that bewilderment.

Naturally, it's likely the other twins' parents will be very confused around tipping etiquette to the man in the big house, in a naice area, in his middle class job putting his twins through private school.

Their minds will also be whirling and wondering how quickly they can draft a wee newsletter to all the parents of their twins' schoolmates to share this nugget before your hubby delivers the KFC to the Smythe-Winterbournes and they grab the scoop.

It's important, when hubby is aware of this, and he has not been directly challenged, he employs a false accent, perhaps Italian?, to further befuddle the recipient and maximise the gratuties whilst he can ......

Oh, and have him report to you after each delivery he makes confirming the fee plus any gratuities. This is crucial. He needs to be aware of who is in control.

HTH.

I mention class because the OP was very sure to mention her own class in her first post, so it’s clearly relevant to her. And yes, I’m really jealous. I wish I had a mountain of debt, a mortgage I can’t afford, and I aspire to one day ponce off my in laws to fund my ‘middle class’ lifestyle. Such a shame that I can afford my own mortgage, I don’t borrow off anyone, I don’t rely on daddy’s money when I’m a full grown adult, I have savings rather than debts, and I can afford to take my family on holiday every year. How I wish I was ‘middle class’ with debt relying on charity. Aspirational 😂 😂 Clearly I hit a nerve with you, the OP not the only one who likes to call herself middle class despite having no money? 😏 Only one who sounds resentful here is you, as others are now pointing out to you too. 😉

A colleague told me that she has paid her Uni fees (£24k plus) by opening only fabs, videoing her feet and selling socks she wears whilst out running.

I was gobsmacked. But perhaps you could do this whilst he’s out each evening delivering pizza 🍕🤷‍♀️

Only FANs. Sorry for the typo

I think it is worth reiterating that DH's Deliveroo shirts are only one part of a package of measures that we have agreed.

The other key components are the grandparents upping their school fee contribution to one third and a one-off 'soft loan' from DSis (DH insisted that this will be paid back eventually).

However, we will also be taking one of our two cars off the road and cancelling our sky package.

Is this actually a wind up? Part of your money saving scheme is to get your in-laws to up their financial contributions? Are you not embarrassed by this lifestyle you can’t afford?

Are you still thinking this is just to tied you over until the end of Year 11? Presumably you'll need even more drastic changes/cuts to pay for 2 years of sixth form.

OP start an only fans 😂 You know I’d actually sooner do this than beg for charity tbf.

I think it's pretty cheeky to ask family to subsidise your lifestyle because your DH won't make the cuts required for your lifestyle choices.

I could never take my parents money, they earned that money, it is theirs. I find it baffling that two grown adults with decent jobs would do this.

OP my daughter got 10 GCSE's mostly 9's at a state school, I didn't bribe her or anything.

This whole saga is utterly ridiculous..

Depends how much money they’ve got and if it’s IHT efficient for them to give it now. They can then take advantage of tapering.

Finally school isn’t only about grades, ultimately it’s an experience. Perhaps (and I hope) they get a better experience at their school.

This is really taking the piss now.

It is maybe worth giving more detail on the grandparents' finances. I would say they are worth around £1.5-2 million, so well off but not loaded. The majority of this is in their two homes.

Both had decent careers- DFIL was an accountant and at one stage acting Finance Director for a FTSE 250 company. DMIL was Deputy head of HR for a local authority.

It makes sense from a tax perspective for them to contribute to school fees