To only want one child

[Orangepen13]

We have a 14mo and I always imagined us having two so they have each other as siblings BUT I’m just not sure we can do it.

We adore her and she has made us a family, but those first 6 months were so hard. She cried so much, never wanted to be put down, slept so badly at night. It’s been getting steadily better and she’s a dream I’m the daytime now, but sleep is still hideous (waking anywhere from 2-5 times a night, every night) and we’re exhausted. We don’t have any family close by, so any sickness (hers or ours) means a lot of time off work and very little recovery time.

Neither of us can imagine having another right now. How do you even split your time?! How can you share that love, she needs so much from us as it is?!

I just feel so guilty not giving her a sibling. I can’t shake this feeling that we should be having another for her. Are we being selfish for just thinking about how tired we are?

You don’t ‘share’ the love - you double it!

It probably is easier with one. Certainly all the couples we know with only children have easier lives, great holidays, tidier houses… their children are very mature, quiet and bright.

But I wouldn’t swap my three and all the fun and sibling dynamic that it brings to a home. I had my first two very close together and now as young adults they are close and look out for each other. It’s lovely to see.

Yes you don't share the love, the love grows!

'She made us a family'.

So people who can't have children or don't want children can't be a family? I know what you meant OP but I think the wording is a little wrong. Families come in all shapes and sizes.

Only you can decide whether one child is enough or if you should try for a sibling. Neither option is wrong.