To ask DB to pay half towards holiday

[StillNotGrownUpat57]

My DSIL passed away tragically 5 years ago and since then my DH and I have had a week away in a self- catering cottage once a year with my DB. The three of us get on well and always have a good time. I have always asked my DB for a third of the holiday rental cost thinking there are 3 of us going. My DH feels my DB should pay half since he has a room to himself. We can all afford the holiday comfortably but I feel hard justifying to DB he should pay half. No one’s going to fall out about this but I would like to know your thoughts. AIBU asking for just a third of the cost?

We always divide ours by the number of adults

Three people equals thirds

Definitely a third

But there are three adults going. Would your husband prefer to share with your brother instead?

Especially considering the only reason he has a room to himself is because his wife died it would seem unbelievably crass to me to ask him to pay half.

Are you renting a 2 bed cottage? He should pay half.

For food, petrol etc, he should pay a third.

A third!!! How mean of your husband

A third. Presumably you could choose 3 separate bedrooms but you don't - that's not your brother's fault.

I wouldn’t unless things were difficult and then I would frame it as a financial struggle and ask if he minded going halves. Just because of ‘fairness’ no way.

I'd say neither are quite fair, you two use more of the communal space but he has a full room. Suggest him pay 40% and you two pay 60% between you.

Yes we do rent a bigger cottage than we would if it was just the two of us…

He should pay a third.

If doesn’t sound like you particularly need him to pay more. I think a third is fine.

3 adults = a third each.

A third.

No way does it cost double to have him there.

Was your DH visited by 3 ghosts on Christmas Eve at all ???

We go away with my brother at least twice a year, he is single and we all get on very well. We split three ways, seems mean to go halves.

I don’t feel DH is at all ‘mean’ in all this, he has welcomed his DBIL on all of these holidays. Not all DHs would welcome that!

That was my thought too. Reminding him he has a room to himself is surely just reminding him that his wife is gone...

@ExtraOnions surely if he had been visited by the ghosts he'd now be offering to pay for all of it!! 😁

A third, a 2 bed cottage isn't double the cost of a one bed either

Absolutely a third.

Of course it should be thirds.

do you and your dh only use half of the communal space?

do you and your dh only use a half of the utilities that wiuod
be priced in?

the cost is not only for the bedroom

your husband is a dick

Also vote for a third.

What’s the difference in price between a one and two bed cottage? Is that more or less than a third?

I doubt it doubles the cost so him paying half would be OTT imo unless it’s just two rooms and none of you use communal facilities.

I've been away three times with my cousin and his partner who is my close friend. We've ways split it three ways. They have the bigger room, use more of the communal space, two of them using the shower/bath, and they also have two wages coming in instead of my one. They have always been happy to do this and I wouldn't go if they wanted me to pay 50%.