To ask DB to pay half towards holiday

[StillNotGrownUpat57]

My DSIL passed away tragically 5 years ago and since then my DH and I have had a week away in a self- catering cottage once a year with my DB. The three of us get on well and always have a good time. I have always asked my DB for a third of the holiday rental cost thinking there are 3 of us going. My DH feels my DB should pay half since he has a room to himself. We can all afford the holiday comfortably but I feel hard justifying to DB he should pay half. No one’s going to fall out about this but I would like to know your thoughts. AIBU asking for just a third of the cost?

No I think by 3 is correct otherwise ur getting a bogof deal lol.

What's the difference in price between paying half and a third?

Just trying to work out how tight your husband is

He is not going to be using half of the utilities, you will be flushing the loo twice as much, using 2 x the plates etc. Definitely split by 3.

I think thirds is fine. You’re all getting equal use of the rest of the house other than the bedrooms, after all.

Sometimes, per bedroom can be fair if there are lots of people, lots of rooms and you’re trying to decide who has to share, who gets their own room etc. But this is a bit different as presumably you want to share with your DH? And holiday houses don’t cost proportionally the cost per bedroom, usually. A second room doesn’t make the price double.

Your husband is the sort of man who thinks if you and he share a taxi with a single person you should only pay half isn't he?

Single people hate men like your husband.

He should pay one third.

I hate the smug marrieds bias against singles.

Think people who voted YABU got confused and meant YABU for even thinking about asking for half. I would be very unhappy if my own DH even considered making such a suggestion.

Definitely split by the number of adults. It would be totally unfair for you the each pay half as much as your bro.

I think this, he is family and is it really that much more? It seems a bit stingy.

And your brother pays his share!

I think a third for the same reasons as PPs have said and because it just seems really mean in the circs to demand half, esp if you can afford it.

I was going to say you could argue either way, but I think it's a good point people have raised that generally in a 2 bed cottage there is the nice master bedroom with ensuite and then a not so nice smaller second one usually with two single beds.

Also presumably you would still be going on holiday without him, so a true cost is the difference in rental price between a one bed and two bed. It's never 50% more expensive to hire a two bed - usually something like £800 for a one bed and £1200 for two bed - again about a third.

😂😂😂😂

I thought this too. OP he's telling you he wants to go without your brother.

Does your husband think that sharing with you is a downside that entitles him to a discount or something? I’m sure your brother would have loved to have been paying half and to have had the pleasure of sharing a room with his wife for all those previous trips.

If it was separate hotel rooms then your husband would be right but for a house then split by 1/3 is fair. A two-bed cottage is not double the cost of a one-bed.

A third of course. I’m surprised others see this differently!

A third is fair. If your DH wants your DB to pay half - he should ask him and not get you to do his dirty work

I doubt DB would be renting a whole cottage for just himself either... so that's not really relevant.

Split 3 ways makes most sense imo.

Are you showing DH the responses on this thread?

But asking for half might discourage BIL, so might be an underhand way to get you all to himself.

This. Thirds is fair and you've already established it as standard.

DH’s argument is that if it was hotel rooms DB would pay same as us…after MN’s onslaught he resorted to arguing DB takes up greater volume of the cottage than he does- he is joking, honest!😂

Definitely do thirds. Your DH is being a bit grabby expecting half. If he brings someone with him in the future, then halfs is fine

Wow you’re husband isn’t very nice I would go 3rds or does he also get the option of the master suit.

if you do pay equal I would say that 50% of the time he gets the nicer room

Your husband is an arsehole! Make the guy with the dead wife pay the same on his own as two people. I should imagine he’s the kind of pond scum that votes Tory and buys the god awful Lad Baby shite every Christmas because he supports Food banks instead of a functioning society.