To ask DB to pay half towards holiday

[StillNotGrownUpat57]

My DSIL passed away tragically 5 years ago and since then my DH and I have had a week away in a self- catering cottage once a year with my DB. The three of us get on well and always have a good time. I have always asked my DB for a third of the holiday rental cost thinking there are 3 of us going. My DH feels my DB should pay half since he has a room to himself. We can all afford the holiday comfortably but I feel hard justifying to DB he should pay half. No one’s going to fall out about this but I would like to know your thoughts. AIBU asking for just a third of the cost?

He should pay one third

Incredibly mean spirited of your DH. A third is now not only custom and practice but also fair and appropriate.

That just makes him a normal human being, not some kind of superhero.

Going 50/50 would be your brother subsidising you and your husband. Why does your husband think that is fair?

I have always split by bedroom but then I have always had the most bedrooms so
highest share, last cottage splitting by people or room was pretty equal so stuck with rooms

Definitely a third. Tight as a gnats chuff.

A third is reasonable.

I bet he never gets the master bedroom. If you start asking for halves, he’s well within his rights to have the king size bed with en-suite whilst you and your DH are in the childrens twin bed.

Third each. Everyone pay equally for themselves.

A third , unless you are going to say that you pay for all the food / meals out etc .

Thank you! Interesting discussion with DH at the moment!

Definitely a third in this situation. A two bedroom cottage won't be double the cost of a one bedroom one and I'm guessing you two would have the larger bedroom as they're rarely equal sizes in a cottage. Quibbling over this would be very mean under the circumstances.

Exactly.

A third is the only division that is fair.

A third, he doesnt get half of the living room and kitchen does he? If you want a bedroom to yourself get a three bed cottage, and still pay a third, but a bigger third.

Three way split

Your husband sounds like a skinflint. Mortified for him.

Obviously a third. And I would find it deeply unattractive if my husband was pushing for half.

Personally, I'd probably not ask for a contribution at all, given the circumstances. But if I was going to, it would be a third.

TBH, your husband would have to be a prize wanker to not welcome your brother along in these circumstances, so don't give him hero status for that. He absolutely is mean to suggest your DB pays more than one third.

Maybe leave your husband behind in future and just go with your DB. Reasonable to split the costs 50/50 then.

Agree with 1/3! As PP have said, there's two of you using the space and only one of him, regardless of him having a bedroom to himself - the shared space is split 3 ways so paying in thirds makes sense.

Gosh how sad to even think this when the reason he’s alone is because his wife passed away. Unless I was really struggling I couldn’t ask him to pay half.

You could argue it either way. I think as you've doing a third you should stick with it! When we do holidays with friends we divide the cost between adults which others agree to, we do discuss beforehand to make sure everyone agrees though!

1/3..

Can't believe you would ask for half

That's how I would work it. If it was 3 single friends I might say a third each and we toss to see who gets room to themselves.
Third each for food, petrol etc

My first thought , just because you and your husband share a bed all the other facilities are shared between 3. Your OH is being tight .

I think a 1/3 too

Third, definitely

Its great your DH is happy to go on holiday with DB, but please don't spoil that by asking DB to pay half