Page 15 | To think trackers on a teens phone is just wrong in most cases?

Roseberry1 · 2023-01-08T17:32:48+00:00

Had a call from my dcs school on Friday. They are 16 in year 11. The receptionist said my dc hadn't been marked as attended to the last lesson and asked if I knew why, etc. It turned out my dd had crossed wires with the teacher in a mix-up, was on site, and it was all legitimate reasons, etc. Anyway, that's not the point in the thread. The receptionist asked me, "Do you have a tracker on her phone?" When I said no, she gave me the impression I should have one (not just my dc but all teens). I find this so odd! Surely, there should be a certain level of trust when your 15/16 + teens go out. I dated this guy who had a tracker on his 15 year olds phone, his kid was only cycling to his mates house and was tracked, which I thought was ott. Reasons a parent might track: They live in an area with a very high crime rate where safety is a real high-risk issue. Their dc are known to be in lots of trouble a lot of the time, often breaking the law. They go "missing" for long periods and don't appear home when they are supposed to. Not for teens just hanging out with their mates in a fairly safe town. Surely, as I said, a certain level of trust has to come in somewhere, and even if they do make mistakes, that's part of learning as you grow up. The thought of being "tracked" all the time by your parents just sounds odd to me!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 08/01/2023 23:41

Can I just point out agai , OP, that people CAN have their privacy even if they use location apps. They can simply switch them off temporarily. It is only when the other person then starts getting paranoid or quizzing them on why they couldn’t see their location that there is a problem. And unless you obsessively checked someone’s location many many times a day then how would you know if they’d turned their location on or off?

and anyway most location services are not terribly accurate, they just give you a rough location. And even if they DID pinpoint someone exactly in a city centre, venues often close down and something else opens up in their place, and I think people are generally sensible enough to realise this - no-one should be jumping to any conclusions if your person seems to be in a Thai massage parlour. 😆

Original poster

Roseberry1 · 08/01/2023 23:41

EarringsandLipstick · 08/01/2023 23:38

@Roseberry1

Stating views like they are absolute fact, while refusing to even consider anyone's viewpoint and using 🙄 emojis aren't the markers of polite discourse.

You've written nonsensical statements, like that a link between tech that can enhance contact & anxiety / poor MH exists. But you can point to any evidence.

Saying there "must" be is not stating absolute fact. It's a discussion, nothing to get so worked up over or dramatise the needs for links and evidence, we are on a discussion board, not in court!

OP posts:

B1rds · 08/01/2023 23:43

It gives more freedom in some ways. If you can see someone's roughly where they're planning to be, you don't need to ask questions. If you don't want people to know, you switch it off. In the old days I'd be asking did you go to X friend's house (because that means I need to pick up by car) or did you go to the next town instead, meaning doesn't need dinner as going out for meal. With tracker you look and see. No need to interrupt them or ask. They can see where you are too so KO when you're getting home and where their dinner is.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 08/01/2023 23:45

Yes, exactly, it’s just handy sometimes. Like if one of the person is on their way home and you know they have to pass a supermarket, if you check their location and see they’re right by it you can give them a quick call to ask them if they could pop in and pick up some milk or whatever.

TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 08/01/2023 23:46

I have a tracker on all 3 of my DCs phone, for their safety and my sanity. They can equally track me.

Jourdain11 · 08/01/2023 23:49

I'm very surprised that I am in such a minority here.

I don't like it, I can't see too many situations in which it would be helpful, and I can't understand why a quick phone call or text is more intrusive/time-consuming/disruptive than checking and checking again a tracker app.

I have nothing to hide from my DH... but I wouldn't want him tracking me. Nor do I have any particular desire to know where he is when I can't see him. If he was going to be particularly late, he'd let me know. If he hadn't let me know, then I'd start to be concerned and would follow up... but I wouldn't rely on what some tracker app says, because if he has gone missing, who says he's with his phone?

I do think it's important to allow kids space to figure stuff out for themselves, and if mummy is tracking them and able to swoop in whenever they mess up slightly, they ain't never gonna learn.

Original poster

Roseberry1 · 08/01/2023 23:49

MrsDooDaa · 08/01/2023 23:41

I'm wondering if those who are very anti location apps had very strict parents who didn't trust them? Or were very rebellious teens?

I was an average to good teen and my parents were of average strictness. There was a lot of respect on both sides.

I'm anti tracking apps - no way will I let another human track me and i wont track my teens. Both my sisters use tracking in their families. We respectfully agree to disagree on this topic.

I was an average teen too, my mum was laid back and not strict at all. We could have probably done what we wanted but didn't do anything too rebellious. I was out working from 16 so didn't do the student life/nightlife scene, although we did go out, but it was bar/club/dance/food/home.

My teenage life was very much built on trust and mutual respect for the house we lived in. We had our moments but were free to do what we wanted.

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Getoff · 08/01/2023 23:50

I think its the anti-trackers who seem to have some real issues.

Why are they assuming the person being tracked is being opressed? They seem to just assume that the people being tracked don't want to be? Just because you have controlling or oppressive peole in your life doesn't mean all families work like that.

Having a tracker has in itself fuck-all effect on the person being tracked. DD aged 12 has been told several times I can see where she is, it's so irrelevant to her that she doesn't even bother to remember the fact! Consequently, it has fuck-all effect on her independence/decision making.

The most batshit comment of all is the idea that, for some reason, it would be better to call or text. Why bother someone when in less time than it would take them to answer you can see their location on a map? And if the exact location did matter, for some reason, how long is it going to take them to convey the amount of information you can see instantly from an icon on a map? What is better about getting far less information far more slowly while inconveniencing someone who doesn't need to be involved at all?

If you're such a luddite, why are you advocating texting or calling, surely it would be even better for cultivating independence and resourcefulnees if they went without a phone at all?

EarringsandLipstick · 08/01/2023 23:51

Getoff · 08/01/2023 23:50

I think its the anti-trackers who seem to have some real issues.

Why are they assuming the person being tracked is being opressed? They seem to just assume that the people being tracked don't want to be? Just because you have controlling or oppressive peole in your life doesn't mean all families work like that.

Having a tracker has in itself fuck-all effect on the person being tracked. DD aged 12 has been told several times I can see where she is, it's so irrelevant to her that she doesn't even bother to remember the fact! Consequently, it has fuck-all effect on her independence/decision making.

The most batshit comment of all is the idea that, for some reason, it would be better to call or text. Why bother someone when in less time than it would take them to answer you can see their location on a map? And if the exact location did matter, for some reason, how long is it going to take them to convey the amount of information you can see instantly from an icon on a map? What is better about getting far less information far more slowly while inconveniencing someone who doesn't need to be involved at all?

If you're such a luddite, why are you advocating texting or calling, surely it would be even better for cultivating independence and resourcefulnees if they went without a phone at all?

👏👏👏👏

Jourdain11 · 08/01/2023 23:54

Calling people Bagshot luddites is a bit rude! Let's say I track my DH and he's still at school. Okay, I know where he is, but I don't know how much longer he'll be there and what he might be doing / where he might be stopping off on the way back. Which is what I'd really want to know rather than where he physically is RIGHT AT THAT SECOND. And all of which I could find out in a WhatsApp or 30 sec phone conversation. Plus, interaction is sometimes nice 😊

EarringsandLipstick · 08/01/2023 23:54

Saying there "must" be is not stating absolute fact.

I'm not sure you understand how language works ...

It's a discussion

I don't see much discussion from got you - just endless repetition of your point

nothing to get so worked up over

Not worked up. Irritated a bit. Bad making my points. That's allowed, right?

or dramatise the needs for links and evidence, we are on a discussion board, not in court!

Are you new to MN? Mostly here, discussion is characterised by posters linking to evidence (might be research, articles or interviews) where they are making very bald & definitive statements, especially.

Jourdain11 · 08/01/2023 23:55

Batshit not Bagshot.

milkysmum · 08/01/2023 23:56

We all have life 360. So do all my teens friends. They have separate family abd friends groups set up. I think it's really handy to be honest.

Intemperatefatty · 08/01/2023 23:57

We use life 360 in our family too. Kids at 13 & 15. It was actually my eldest DD that introduced us all to it - she hated having to remember to text us when they arrived at school and the app notifies us automatically. My 13 year old likes to use it track me and their dad when we’re on our way home from work so he can pretend he’s been doing his homework instead of being on the Xbox. 🙄My 15 year old tracks me a lot more than I do her. She rings me with a list whenever she gets a ping that I’ve left the house or sees that I’m near a shop. She hassles me if I say I’m going to one place and decide to pop into somewhere else. She actually rang to tell me off for stopping for too long to chat to a friend on my way home from the local Tesco Metro the other day. She’s not an anxious child by any stretch and the weird thing is all her friends do it to each other, and to their parents. I was chatting to some of the mums of her friends and they don’t like that their teens appear to be REALLY enjoying tracking them! I have to admit it can get a bit annoying but it’s harmless ( I think/hope?!)

It’s odd that some people seem to have such strong feelings against the trackers. Do what’s best for you but don’t denigrate others who make a different choice. From our perspective it’s a useful tool, if it’s not for you that’s cool too.

Original poster

Roseberry1 · 08/01/2023 23:58

EarringsandLipstick · 08/01/2023 23:54

Saying there "must" be is not stating absolute fact.

I'm not sure you understand how language works ...

It's a discussion

I don't see much discussion from got you - just endless repetition of your point

nothing to get so worked up over

Not worked up. Irritated a bit. Bad making my points. That's allowed, right?

or dramatise the needs for links and evidence, we are on a discussion board, not in court!

Are you new to MN? Mostly here, discussion is characterised by posters linking to evidence (might be research, articles or interviews) where they are making very bald & definitive statements, especially.

I've been on MN for 16 years, so too long in the tooth to get worked up over this 🤷🏼‍♀️ You disagree, that's OK.

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kirwanco · 08/01/2023 23:58

’I pay for it so I can do what I want’ - spoken like a true abuser. How many spouses and partners living in coercive control situations hear this from jealous abusive partners every day? Oh, but it’s ok because they’re young people?

I hit her because I love her? If she just didn’t walk into so many doors. She’s very clumsy. She’s bad with money so I look after the finances. It’s better for her if she doesn’t have access to a car. No, she shouldn’t wear that, she looks like a slut. You’re not allowed to see your friends. Your mother is an idiot and she’s not welcome in our house…

You should seek therapy for your control issues! Clearly you have a nasty streak that should be dealt with. Get help and soon before you hurt someone.

Copperoliverbear · 09/01/2023 00:00

Tracker is great my son is 28 and we track each other, he likes to check I'm safe and if I want to see if he was on the way home so I can put dinner on ect, saves disturbing them. X

Original poster

Roseberry1 · 09/01/2023 00:01

Intemperatefatty · 08/01/2023 23:57

We use life 360 in our family too. Kids at 13 & 15. It was actually my eldest DD that introduced us all to it - she hated having to remember to text us when they arrived at school and the app notifies us automatically. My 13 year old likes to use it track me and their dad when we’re on our way home from work so he can pretend he’s been doing his homework instead of being on the Xbox. 🙄My 15 year old tracks me a lot more than I do her. She rings me with a list whenever she gets a ping that I’ve left the house or sees that I’m near a shop. She hassles me if I say I’m going to one place and decide to pop into somewhere else. She actually rang to tell me off for stopping for too long to chat to a friend on my way home from the local Tesco Metro the other day. She’s not an anxious child by any stretch and the weird thing is all her friends do it to each other, and to their parents. I was chatting to some of the mums of her friends and they don’t like that their teens appear to be REALLY enjoying tracking them! I have to admit it can get a bit annoying but it’s harmless ( I think/hope?!)

It’s odd that some people seem to have such strong feelings against the trackers. Do what’s best for you but don’t denigrate others who make a different choice. From our perspective it’s a useful tool, if it’s not for you that’s cool too.

Oh my, that would do my head in! My dd would be constantly asking for stuff! She would definitely spy on me!

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FellForTheWrongUnAgain · 09/01/2023 00:02

Both mine have life 360. They know it's either that or phone calls asking where they are. As it is, they can have the freedom they want, no curfews and no panicky mum!

mynamesnotMa · 09/01/2023 00:03

No point mine would just switch them off

Mojoj · 09/01/2023 00:05

Trackers on kids phones are wrong on so many levels. It's a massive invasion of privacy. Don't you trust your kids?

Hawkins001 · 09/01/2023 00:06

Personally, the whole of society needs the machine, or the machine called Samaritan.
personally if I had kids and the tech was possible, why would it not be a good idea to have a tracking chip on them, same with animal's, ect, ?

Hawkins001 · 09/01/2023 00:07

Besides you already have a tracking device, the latest phones,

Hawkins001 · 09/01/2023 00:08

Mojoj · 09/01/2023 00:05

Trackers on kids phones are wrong on so many levels. It's a massive invasion of privacy. Don't you trust your kids?

And if they went missing, were kidnapped then what, whereas with a tracker, sas, instant recovery

Original poster

Roseberry1 · 09/01/2023 00:09

Hawkins001 · 09/01/2023 00:08

And if they went missing, were kidnapped then what, whereas with a tracker, sas, instant recovery

Show quote history

I would have thought the first thing a kidnapped would do is lose the phone as they know most can be traces...

OP posts: