To think trackers on a teens phone is just wrong in most cases?

[Roseberry1]

Had a call from my dcs school on Friday. They are 16 in year 11. The receptionist said my dc hadn't been marked as attended to the last lesson and asked if I knew why, etc. It turned out my dd had crossed wires with the teacher in a mix-up, was on site, and it was all legitimate reasons, etc. Anyway, that's not the point in the thread.

The receptionist asked me, "Do you have a tracker on her phone?" When I said no, she gave me the impression I should have one (not just my dc but all teens). I find this so odd! Surely, there should be a certain level of trust when your 15/16 + teens go out. I dated this guy who had a tracker on his 15 year olds phone, his kid was only cycling to his mates house and was tracked, which I thought was ott.

Reasons a parent might track:

They live in an area with a very high crime rate where safety is a real high-risk issue.

Their dc are known to be in lots of trouble a lot of the time, often breaking the law.

They go "missing" for long periods and don't appear home when they are supposed to.

Not for teens just hanging out with their mates in a fairly safe town. Surely, as I said, a certain level of trust has to come in somewhere, and even if they do make mistakes, that's part of learning as you grow up. The thought of being "tracked" all the time by your parents just sounds odd to me!

Teenagers being tracked 24/7 and anxiety must have a link somewhere. And as for making it a norm for them, so they possibly think it might be ok for a partner to do it in the near future makes me shudder.

I'm not convinced they would actually. Kids can just turn the tracker off temporarily and tell their parent there was no signal if they REALLY wanted to hide what they were up to, or leave it in a friend's house while they went off out somewhere else. Any abusive parent is kidding themselves if they think they can use a tracker as form of control.

It's about having an open and honest relationship with your kids. I trust mine and they trust me. I don't "spy" on them, I simply use "Find my Iphone" as a useful tool so that I can see where they are, if knowing where they are would be useful/handy at any time/make my life or their life easier without bothering with several messages back and forth.

Interestingly, this thread has led me to realise that there's a specific circumstance that happens reasonably often where it would be useful for DH to be able to see where I am at a particular point in time but I'm often not in a position to text.

I think suggest it to him. Promise it won't be that weird stilted 1930s style convo from upthread though... especially as I'll be suggesting he tracks me 😁

Teenagers being tracked 24/7 and anxiety must have a link somewhere.

Oh honestly. Why don't you even try understanding?

You don't want to do it with your DC? Fine! Doesn't bother me at all.

It isn't 'being tracked 24/7'; it's a part of modern tech that helps some of us navigate family life. It's practical. It's easy to use. It may help keep them safe.

My teens spend still most of their days learning how to grow & be independent, whether in terms of school study, friendship or being out & about. Being able to check them on Snapchat doesn't affect any of that

'Must have a link somewhere'. Could you make it any more weak?

But then again we all like our tech in our family. We have a shared family calendar which we find a useful planning tool when arranging appointments/holidays/school or work events and need to plan around each other's commitments. Maybe some people don't like using those either?

Some people are not big lovers of tech and really don't like facetime or zoom as they feel it's too intrusive. In our family we find it useful at times.

Maybe it all depends on how much you enjoy using tech and different apps as to how you view tools like location trackers.

So specifics aside, it boils down to two camps...

Those who are OK with teens/adults being tracked (or trackable) 24/7, and those who aren't.

Very personal and no obvious answer yet as this tech + way of life is still very new. No doubt studies will be done in years to come and we will understand more. I find it all very interesting. It's a shame OP didn't enable voting as would be interesting to see the split now.

Agree, @QueenoftheNimbleFlyingCat

We've sleepwalked into dystopia.

The Trojan Horse is a story many here should revisit.

No weaker than you saying there isn't a link.

This makes zero sense.

What's dystopian? And how is it like the Trojan horse? You know the story I imagine??

I find it interesting actually, the differing opinions. I was an easy teen I suppose, never felt the need to rebel because my parents were neither too strict nor too loose in their expectations. As long as they knew where I was going and roughly what time I'd be back/how I'd be getting back they were fine with that. My most rebellious friends had REALLY strict parents who constantly questioned where they were going/who they were with and had strict curfews.

My own teens are absolutely no bother either. They go out and live their life, we all use the find my iphone tool simply as a tool. We respect them, they respect us and we are mutually supportive and discuss and compromise if we disagree. I'm wondering if those who are very anti location apps had very strict parents who didn't trust them? Or were very rebellious teens?

We all have trackers in this family. I track my parents, DH tracks his etc. we track the children and they track us.

It helps to see where people are to know when to do things - if my children aren't back from school within 30 mins I check where they are because we are a 10 min walk - they are always local chatting to friends but I would panic if I didn't know that.

My mum tracks me to see if I'm at work (i work shifts) to know whether to call in etc.

If I'm stuck at work I'll track dh to see if he's on way home to be there for the children - otherwise I call family to get home. I can't call him because he's driving so this is practical.

It's every open and transparent - no secret tracking or anything.

The dc love the feature when they lose their phone that I can ping them so they can hear and find it. One teen, one almost teen.

No weaker than you saying there isn't a link.

You're quite offensive as well as not so bright.

You started the thread with a dramatic premise, clearly understanding little about tech options.

You are baldly & hysterically stating that 'tracking' teens is absolutely linked to anxiety & MH issues - but you've no evidence.

I didn't ever say there was no link between tracking & anxiety - I imagine if some unwell parent obsessively stalked their child every.single.minute there would be some anxiety - but that's not what happens is it?

Time to leave you & your tin hat to it.

I don't mind tech and apps. Use them every day in and out of work. I just don't like the thought of being able to track someone at any point in time you want to as I like my privacy and my dc are entitled to theirs.

My own teens are absolutely no bother either. They go out and live their life, we all use the find my iphone tool simply as a tool. We respect them, they respect us and we are mutually supportive and discuss and compromise if we disagree.

That's so great. And well-put.

I broadly have the same with my teens, tho my 13 yo DS needs to work more on sticking to agreements!

I don't see it as an invasion of privacy, no. Whether or not a teen learns responsibility is unrelated to the use of tracking apps, imo.

Lol I think that might be wise as you're getting a little wound up there!

Lol I think that might be wise as you're getting a little wound up there!

You're funny 😂

Given that you've engaged in hyperbole throughout & attacked every poster who's held a different view to you!

Do you not like Ring cameras either? Or CCTV?

I think you might need to do a bit of reading on where the burden of proof for an argument generally sits....

I've given my opinion, not got worked up over it or resorted to name calling 🙄

YANBU

It's not quite the same thing. I know we are filmed constantly every time we go outside, but that just doesn't seem the same as your parent/partner knowing your location constantly. I agree it's an odd thought, because big brother is always watching one way or another!

@Roseberry1

Stating views like they are absolute fact, while refusing to even consider anyone's viewpoint and using 🙄 emojis aren't the markers of polite discourse.

You've written nonsensical statements, like that a link between tech that can enhance contact & anxiety / poor MH exists. But you can point to any evidence.

I track my tween. I turned off the feature so he can’t tack me so I know it is possible. I trust him completely. He’s a very mature, sensible boy. I track him because of others behaviour, not his. Will I when he’s a teenager? Very probably. He’s aware of this and understand it’s about safety.

I'm wondering if those who are very anti location apps had very strict parents who didn't trust them? Or were very rebellious teens?

I was an average to good teen and my parents were of average strictness. There was a lot of respect on both sides.

I'm anti tracking apps - no way will I let another human track me and i wont track my teens. Both my sisters use tracking in their families. We respectfully agree to disagree on this topic.