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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is it reasonable to tell DC that "most people don't enjoy going to work"?

161 replies

raisinsarenottheonlyfruit · 08/01/2023 10:12

DP thinks most people would rather be doing something other than their job and it's not unreasonable so say this to DD, aged 9.

I feel that the aim is to find a job you enjoy doing, and although it's true that loads of us are in jobs we don't particularly enjoy, at 9 years old, the world is still DD's oyster and we should be encouraging her to follow her interests in the hope she will find a career she enjoys, not giving her the idea that work is shit.

I think it's fine that DD knows the reality that many people have to do jobs they don't like to get money, but I think giving her the idea that work in general is something most people don't want to do isn't a good message for a 9 year old.

AIBU?

OP posts:

BumpyaDaisyevna · 08/01/2023 22:00

I realised that even if I win the lottery I would not give up my current job and nor would I either give up my longer term plans to also train to do something else.

That's a good feeling and I hope my kids will feel that way too.

People who are jumping for joy about retiring at 55 - seems very sad to me. What happens then?

I plan to work beyond 65 in my complementary field, if all works out as I hope it will. I expect to be still doing some work in the first half of my 70s if health permits.

SweetSakura · 08/01/2023 22:05

I feel the same @BumpyaDaisyevna and it feels like a real privilege.

FarFlungFlamingo · 08/01/2023 22:19

I can't think of anything worse than having to sludge my way through 40+ hours a week just so I could have posh holidays/fancy clothes/nails done etc. Would rather enjoy every single day on this planet with less material desires.

I realised around 30 that I was never going to really enjoy work. Working in roles that were close to my hobbies just ended up putting me off those too. So, if I wasn't going to enjoy any work, I might as well not enjoy highly paid work.

lookslikeabombhitit · 08/01/2023 22:31

"work in general is something most people don't want to do isn't a good message"

I enjoy my job. If I didn't have to work I wouldn't though. I don't think I know anyone who would choose to work if they didn't have to.... I think it's mental how as a society we base a lot of worth on people's job titles, money earned and their status through that. The whole idea that we should strive for the perfect job that we love etc seems a lot of pressure to put on a child.

Work to live, not the other way around. 🤷🏼‍♀️

VioletaDelValle · 09/01/2023 08:29

Likewise anyone who's doing a job just because it has a decent pension. What happens if you drop dead at 30? It's bugger all use to you then.

And if you live until you're 90? How do you survive without a decent pension?

There's a balance to be had surely, I'm all for living for the moment and enjoying life but you need to be sensible too.

Kanaloa · 09/01/2023 09:19

People who are jumping for joy about retiring at 55 - seems very sad to me. What happens then?

I mean maybe to other people it seems very sad that you can’t possibly imagine what anyone would do if they weren’t working. Spend time with family, learn a new language, read all the books you didn’t have enough time for, take a class in something that’s interesting, volunteer with a charity close to your heart. And so on and so forth. I could think of lots to fill my days if I didn’t have to work!

user8912 · 09/01/2023 09:21

I enjoy my job so it's moot point, but knowing you have a good pension brings a lot of reassurance and means I don't need to put any extra money into it. So whilst I don't stay in the public sector for the pension alone, it brings me a sense of security which is helpful towards my overall well-being!

seperatedmum · 09/01/2023 09:33

I don't really understand the way you've explained voting but it bothers me so much that a 9 year old has a lifetime of not enjoying the working day having over her poor thing. 🥺 work is well...work but you can enjoy it even if it's not your fantasy career and if you don't enjoy it you can change until you do, you're spending most of your time and energy there! I couldn't get up every day to do something I don't enjoy and I'd never encourage my children to

KimberleyClark · 09/01/2023 09:38

People who are jumping for joy about retiring at 55 - seems very sad to me. What happens then?

I think it’s just as sad to be unable to imagine what you would do with yourself if you didn’t work.

I retired at 58, three and a half years later I have absolutely no regrets.

Hankunamatata · 09/01/2023 09:40

We keep telling our the more education or training you do the more choices you will have with your career/job. Then hopefully you will find an area you enjoy working in.

Auldfangsyne · 09/01/2023 10:47

I love my job as a health care professional. I'd love it even more if the NHS was properly looked after. There are days I dread going in though and bits of the job I don't like. That's normal.

I would advise them to find a job they are passionate about. To help them do that, they need to work hard at school to ensure their options are open to lots of different jobs. Also - try lots of different things like hobbies / sports - a job is not your whole Life, it's part of it.

I also think a 'Saturday' job is invaluable at 16yo. It teaches them about the difference working v school and helped me understand the value of money. It also motivated me to work harder at 6th form college as experiencing earning very little for physical job which left me tired ( lugging boxes around a store room)made me determined not to make that my career!

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