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Original poster

Is this him cancelling!

133 replies

WorriedWarrier · 07/01/2023 15:09

he cancelled first time as was feeling ill

im starting a new job and was just hanging around at my home as starting a new job/everyone is broke lol (Meet point is quite close to where I live) so we never arranged a time or anything…. I said to let’s keep it open :/

he can’t be fucked right?

Is this him cancelling!
OP posts:
Nagado · 07/01/2023 15:29

A meal in a couple of hours? That’s early for dinner plans. I wonder whether he’s said that to give himself an out?

He doesn’t sound particularly enthusiastic. I’d be inclined to tell him to tell him to leave it for today but to message you to arrange something for when he’s free next. That way, if he’s genuine and keen, he can still take you out. If he’s not, then you haven’t wasted your time and effort.

ShinyMe · 07/01/2023 15:30

But that reads as though you never contacted him to arrange a time either, and he thinks you can't be bothered.

fajitaaaa · 07/01/2023 15:32

Is this the guy who had a cold last week? I thought you were moving on from him to better things?

fajitaaaa · 07/01/2023 15:32

ShinyMe · 07/01/2023 15:30

But that reads as though you never contacted him to arrange a time either, and he thinks you can't be bothered.

Yeah I agree but obviously haven't read the other messages

tootrueblue · 07/01/2023 15:32

ShinyMe · 07/01/2023 15:30

But that reads as though you never contacted him to arrange a time either, and he thinks you can't be bothered.

Agreed. I don't think he's at fault here (unless there's more to the story). Doesn't sound very interested on your part if you didn't agree a time.

Justcallmebebes · 07/01/2023 15:36

Is this the guy with the cold? If so and with that and now this message, he sounds decidedly luke warm at best. I'd leave it to be honest and move on.

He cancelled last time so should have stepped up in arranging another definite date and time to meet. Too wishy washy

Original poster
WorriedWarrier · 07/01/2023 15:45

I’m starting a new job on Monday so said I would just be milling around at home so just arrange a time…. He said I was kind for that (paraphrasing as I’ve deleted messages).

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 07/01/2023 15:50

You come across as "can't be arsed" as much as he does.

Original poster
WorriedWarrier · 07/01/2023 15:52

SoupDragon · 07/01/2023 15:50

You come across as "can't be arsed" as much as he does.

Because I left the time flexible? We’ve been messaging each other almost daily

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 07/01/2023 15:52

He asked when you were thinking and said he was free now. You didn't say OK, let's meet in 15 minutes" or whatever, just made a slightly snarky comment with what appears to be a pissed off face.

Nagado · 07/01/2023 15:52

Right, so now it’s time to put him out of your mind and crack on. Message someone else and/or out all your energies into focusing on the new job. He hasn’t earned any more headspace.

SoupDragon · 07/01/2023 15:53

Irrespective of what he might or might not be implying, you're clearly not interested and are looking for people to give you a reason to stop messaging.

if you don't want to meet him, just call it off.

custardbear · 07/01/2023 15:54

Why not suggest Sunday lunch out somewhere and sack off tonight

KrisAkabusi · 07/01/2023 15:57

Just based on the message you've shown, he's not doing anything wrong. It sounds like you haven't been contacting him, and he still wants to do something but is busy later.

But FFS, we don't know, just fucking ask him! This is yet another non-issue that could be solved by a bit of communication.

Testina · 07/01/2023 15:59

I wouldn’t first date anyone with your “ :/ “
Couldn’t be doing with that sort of “communication”.

fajitaaaa · 07/01/2023 16:01

I don't think it's cancelling as nothing has been Arranged

Original poster
WorriedWarrier · 07/01/2023 16:04

We had arranged to meet today at a Starbucks close to us both.

ive got back from holiday (on Thursday evening) and start a new job Monday. I therefore said I’ll just be at home so really easy on time etc….. and just message me. He had stated he had a few things to do this weekend - so mine was very much a “slot me in when you can”. He said that’s very kinda of me.

So the only time he had was the time I messaged him…. And he made no effort to contact me…

so yes maybe I should have said “yes 1pm sharp” but I’m not busy this weekend and was considerate of him.

hes not responded back which shows his lack of interest in it…. Imo.

he cancelled before…. Stated he had a cold. He told me later that it wasn’t bad and went quickly…. And at the time I was thinking “right so you could have rearranged sooner”. His lack of response today is also telling….

OP posts:
Original poster
WorriedWarrier · 07/01/2023 16:04

fajitaaaa · 07/01/2023 16:01

I don't think it's cancelling as nothing has been Arranged

We had arranged to meet today…. At a coffee place, just no set time as I was waiting for him.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 07/01/2023 16:13

His lack of response today is also telling….

as is your constant questioning. You are looking for excuses.

he literally said "I'm free now" and you brushed him off.

do both of you a favour and put an end to it.

minticecreamisjustok · 07/01/2023 16:13

I think going forward it's best to arrange a time, personally I would assume it's not happening unless a time is agreed. He did say he was free now so couldn't you have gone?

ComtesseDeSpair · 07/01/2023 16:16

He said he was free for a couple of hours. Why didn’t you suggest meeting in half an hour’s time?

Original poster
WorriedWarrier · 07/01/2023 16:19

ComtesseDeSpair · 07/01/2023 16:16

He said he was free for a couple of hours. Why didn’t you suggest meeting in half an hour’s time?

Needed to wash my hair and just felt it was lacking on his side…..

OP posts:
Testina · 07/01/2023 16:21

WorriedWarrier · 07/01/2023 16:19

Needed to wash my hair and just felt it was lacking on his side…..

Show quote history

But this morning you thought you were meeting up today when he told you the time… yet didn’t bother to wash your hair.

Forget this guy. And next time - make firm plans with people. It really does cut out this nonsense. And you won’t end up :/ people!

Original poster
WorriedWarrier · 07/01/2023 16:21

^ I did and then I deleted it. not sure if he read it…. I just couldn’t be bothered and his lack of response shows his true self.

OP posts:
Original poster
WorriedWarrier · 07/01/2023 16:23

Testina · 07/01/2023 16:21

But this morning you thought you were meeting up today when he told you the time… yet didn’t bother to wash your hair.

Forget this guy. And next time - make firm plans with people. It really does cut out this nonsense. And you won’t end up :/ people!

Show quote history

I would prefer to wash my hair tomorrow….. and I would have expected someone to message me in the morning with a time - when it was agreed that he would let me know. And yes I perhaps should have said a time but to me he was already firm in my head

OP posts: