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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this him cancelling!

133 replies

WorriedWarrier · 07/01/2023 15:09

he cancelled first time as was feeling ill

im starting a new job and was just hanging around at my home as starting a new job/everyone is broke lol (Meet point is quite close to where I live) so we never arranged a time or anything…. I said to let’s keep it open :/

he can’t be fucked right?

Is this him cancelling!
OP posts:
Original poster
WorriedWarrier · 07/01/2023 17:05

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 07/01/2023 17:04

I agree with everyone else - it sounds like you're the one that can't be arsed.

If you wanted to meet him, you should have arranged a time - instead, you waited for him to text you then got arsey because you decided he hadn't given you enough notice, even though you knew he was busy!

Bonkers.

No, he said he had stuff to do that weekend, I said I was very free so I could work around him…. He had no clear intension to meet me

OP posts:
whataboutsecondbreakfast · 07/01/2023 17:07

WorriedWarrier · 07/01/2023 17:05

No, he said he had stuff to do that weekend, I said I was very free so I could work around him…. He had no clear intension to meet me

Show quote history

And you clearly had no intention of meeting him! He told you he was free and you still couldn't be arsed to meet him - even though you knew he was busy and therefore wouldn't be able to give you loads of advance notice.

As I said - bonkers.

DrManhattan · 07/01/2023 17:07

I couldn't be arsed with him. Sack him off

southernbelles · 07/01/2023 17:08

JoyeuxNarwhal · 07/01/2023 16:56

Huh? You didn't respond back with a time immediately because you needed to wash your hair, and yet you don't want to wash your hair until tomorrow? So you weren't actually prepared to meet him today anyway but want him to be the bad guy?

This was also the bit I didn't understand!

Pixiedust1234 · 07/01/2023 17:09

sorrynotathome · 07/01/2023 16:41

Two ditherers - recipe for going nowhere...

Perfectly put. Both are waiting for the other to step up and neither will.

EmilyGilmoresSass · 07/01/2023 17:11

WorriedWarrier · 07/01/2023 16:19

Needed to wash my hair and just felt it was lacking on his side…..

Show quote history

🙄 what age are you, 15? If a man text me the way you're getting on with him I'd cut them loose.

OngoingCrisis · 07/01/2023 17:12

Hmm... it reads as though had you not messaged him, he wouldn't have said anything about your plans today and you would have ended up not going. Tbh I don't think he is interested

ABBAsnumberonefan · 07/01/2023 17:20

Fucking hell 😂

Daisy4569 · 07/01/2023 17:21

You also told him you were free whenever and then when he said he was free you didn’t offer to meet up. I don’t think it’s right for either of you!

ABBAsnumberonefan · 07/01/2023 17:23

You don’t want to meet him because you’re still arsey over the fact he cancelled the first date. Stop dragging it out now it’s unbecoming

Sickofcoughing · 07/01/2023 17:25

There is no way in hell I'd tell a potential love interest that I wasn't busy, hanging around doing nothing and to slot me in where he can.

Even if you are taking out the bins, leave it at 'busy with various things'.

Personally I would not have liked the 'only free till dinner' bit and would have said "oh shame, I would have liked to see you but I've stuff on for the next few hours. We will need to plan better for next time. Have a great night" and then only met him I'd he came back with a specific plan.

Or if it's been a while and you really did want to see him I would have said "well that's perfect actually as I've plans too so we could have a quick coffee and walk in half an hour at agreed place?" Then see how it goes being friendly but make your exit quite speedily and if he follows up afterwards to arrange the next date.

NeonPink · 07/01/2023 17:28

The answer is simple...... please read 'The Rules'.

The New Rules: The dating dos and don'ts for the digital generation from the bestselling authors of The Rules amzn.eu/d/ggeTFs4

MyAnacondaMight · 07/01/2023 17:31

You are being ridiculous.

Bemyclementine · 07/01/2023 17:33

If I had arranged to meet someone but no time had been arranged, I'd think they weren't really bothered, and go about my day not expecting to meet tbh..

Glitteratitar · 07/01/2023 17:36

I was on your other thread too.

Honestly, I agree with others that you’re expecting him to pull out all stops for you. It’s a first date - it shouldn’t be this complicated.

SuperHandss · 07/01/2023 17:37

Simply put if they want to see you they will make it happen. He’s not interested and never go with the ‘slot me in’ type message. Your time is valuable too & it sets the wrong tone.

Glitteratitar · 07/01/2023 17:38

southernbelles · 07/01/2023 17:08

This was also the bit I didn't understand!

Show quote history

I agree - OP sounds like she’s playing games herself.

whynotwhatknot · 07/01/2023 17:40

sorry you wanted to wash your hair but not till tomorrow bt y0ure fed up he didnt want to meet-when he did

bloody hell

butterpuffed · 07/01/2023 17:51

It’s a first date - it shouldn’t be this complicated.

First date ???????? I must've missed that bit , it makes this thread even more ridiculous 😅😅😅

GooseyBrucey · 07/01/2023 17:57

I think he comes across as far more normal than you do in those texts to be honest.

Your sad response of hanging around doing nothing on your own… I’d have run a mile if I was him!

When online dating you have to at least pretend you have a life.

Sandra1984 · 07/01/2023 17:59

Dontsayyouloveme · 07/01/2023 16:54

I never suggest a potential date slotted me in where he could. I deserve better than that!

This. Basically you're sending him the message that you don't have much going on life wise and are willing to spin your day around his availability. It's very pick me pick me. Obviously the guy has very little interest in meeting. I would have binned this one ages ago. Sadly he's still throwing her some bread crumbs in order to keep her "game" just in case in two weeks time when Saturn aligns with the moon he may (or may not) have a free half hour between errands and might have nothing to do so lets keep her in the back burner just in case.

Aftersevens · 07/01/2023 18:01

Seems to me that you’re both trying to seem like you’re not that bothered. One of you has got to take the plunge and risk being seen as the keen one if anything is ever going to happen. Or you could both carry on as you are and forget it!

AmazonsFuckedUpFreeMusicFeature · 07/01/2023 18:04

You are both Lukewarm and I remember your laat thread. Just set the poor fella free

ShimmeringShirts · 07/01/2023 18:04

By your attitude it sounds like you’re more pissed he hasn’t arranged something beforehand, not sure what washing your hair has to do with meeting up. A quick was takes no time at all and there’s no law saying you can’t wash it tomorrow if you want to too 😕

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