Is this him cancelling!

[WorriedWarrier]

he cancelled first time as was feeling ill

im starting a new job and was just hanging around at my home as starting a new job/everyone is broke lol (Meet point is quite close to where I live) so we never arranged a time or anything…. I said to let’s keep it open :/

he can’t be fucked right?

But you hadn't arranged times, so in your mind the only time you could do was this evening, but he didn't know that!

crikey, first dates should be exciting and with you both keen to meet! This sounds really luke warm on both sides…. doesn’t feel like it’s going anywhere.

You've maybe give him the ick with the ":/"

You seem like hard work, OP.
He wasn’t cancelling, he said he was free now. If he wanted to make an excuse he could have said he’d thought you’d let it slip and had made other plans. You wanted to keep plans vague and didn’t plan a time with him and were expecting him to message you to give you a time he was free right? Well he did just that, he said he was free now. And you then sent him a snarky message in reply, instead of saying “ok, meet you there in 10?”.

Yea he’s not keen I’d say. He’s also a bit of a 🚩 to me… making other plans and suggesting it was you that let it slip. Especially after cancelling first time round. But no from me!

He literally said "I'm free now" and you brushed him off.

He didn't rearrange, OP had texted him, and he messaged her last minute to say that he thought she had forgotten, and that he has time before meeting someone else...

We’re talking about the last time that he cancelled…in OP’s previous thread…

I'll have to talk with the staff of my local Starbucks as I don't wash my hair before going, I'm worried I've offended them now.

Fuck sake you sound like hard work!

I've been both people in this scenario before. For me, if a time hasn't been arranged before the day, the meetup isn't going to happen and both people are free to make other plans.

You’re making yourself too available/open ended. Bizarrely men (some not all) then will treat you like this (no solid plans, no chasing etc).

friends have had this. I’ve experienced it. Dating sucks. Have you met yet or first online date?

Some of the responses on here .. raise the bar!
if he really liked you he would be thinking about you and wouldn’t be able to wait to meet.
You let him know you were around, so he should have contacted you before the weekend with a time at least.
I’m sure if you hadn’t reached out he wouldn’t have contacted you. He offered you a fill in slot before another activity , zero effort, zero plan, zero romance.
Move on

You sound difficult

@Sickofcoughing @Sandra1984
Spot on.

I did see the first post re the cold OP.
In this instance I'd just move on. Fall back and he may well reach out with a bit more energy.
There is a balance between too available and too cool.
It's really as simple as "let's meet up, great, where? That sounds good, what time?".
But I think it would be a no from me. Keep it moving.

How am I not keen when I picked the location and agreed to the date? As it was before the new year we arranged to meet I said just let me know a time that suits you - I’ll be home as resting after holiday and preparing for work new job. To me that’s thoughtful….

or it could sound like you're totally flexible, don't have anything to do and are willing to conform to his schedule whenever he decides that the time is right...

Or like you're just not all that interested.

How about you wait until tomorrow (or Tuesday) to write to him. you could message him something along the lines of: hi, do you have a recommendation for a good [pub, bar, restaurant, insert whatever floats your boat]. We could have lunch [drinks, coffee...].

If he says yes he'll either propose a time and date (if that doesn't work for you: propose an alternative time) or you can propose a specific time.

His lack of response today is also telling….

I probably wouldn't know what to respond to your message tbh.

Or just give him a call tomorrow evening if you really want to see him.

Oh... and less is more sometimes IME. Especially if it comes to dating.

It's all a big miscommunication I think. What do you mean by "We left it open"? Did you say "let's meet on Saturday and we can decide nearer the time what we do" or "Well I should be free Saturday. Let's play it by ear"? To me they are two very different things. Also your reply was odd. You've casually said you had nothing planned. Why did you say that when clearly you thought you had? It's not even like you were put on the spot in a F2F conversation.
I'd like to see the rest of your messages to get a true sense of what's happening. I haven't read your other post but in theory cancelling because you're unwell seems reasonable. If you want to see him just give him a choice of a couple of dates. If he says he'll get back to you you've got your answer!

This. No ones cancelling as there were no plans to cancel

Yes

I see where you’re coming from OP. He’s not making it very exciting. Of course OP wanted to wash her hair and doll up a bit before a first date, not drop everything and go straight away because that’s the only couple of hours he can fit you in.
Sometimes things go off the boil when there’s a holiday in the way. I’ve had that happen once too.

Two threads, no dates. Mental.

Raise the bar? He cancelled because he was sick! And she was that excited to rearrange she couldn't wash her hair the day before or morning of despite thinking they had plans! What was stopping her texting sooner asking a time. He was clearly unaware she definitely wanted to meet today. As pp said, I'd need to see more of the conversation to change my opinion, but if I was him I'd be thinking she wasn't interested.

It’s OK. Sounds like the OP is trying to navigate the strange waters of OLD, infested with time wasters, married men, sex pests, ego boost chasers, bread crumbers and unavailable guys looking for screen girlfriends. Let her learn to navigate it. These are lessons well learnt. Nobody is born knowing how to navigate OLD. Like everything it takes time (and patience).

@EmilyGilmoresSass guys in my long experience and just look at any similar thread on here ... if they like you they will be texting you days before to lock you down for a date. You shouldn’t have to get to the weekend and still not know what’s going on.
She shouldn’t have to text sooner. He cancelled on her last and she left it to him to let her know what was happening as she told him she was free all weekend. Last text from her - ball now in his court. If you have to keep chasing a guy in this initial dating stage then throw him back.
He’s either not into you or extremely lazy.