Page 7 | Why do some parents do this?

Biscuitbabe87 · 2023-01-07T10:34:03+00:00

I've noticed more often that whilst on public transport, parents with young children handing them tablets playing annoying repetitive music or tv shows(always without headphones)- this morning I've had to endure Dora the explorer for 3 hours! Why on earth do people think this is okay? Or am I being grumpy?

Saltywalruss · 07/01/2023 21:49

Passportpondery · 07/01/2023 10:35

Would you rather endure the child moaning, whinging and crying for 3 hours?

Hmmmm tablets haven't been around for a particularly long time.....

Saltywalruss · 07/01/2023 21:54

Yesterdaywasntreal · 07/01/2023 14:25

'What would you have done 20 years ago?'

What would you do today?

Colouring books, stories, stickers etc. And also taught them that it's ok to sit quietly in your own thoughts and look out of the window sometimes.

icelolly12 · 07/01/2023 21:58

I do wonder about the future effects on social interaction and society as a whole when so many of this new generation are raised without the need or ability to communicate.

Volhhg · 07/01/2023 21:59

I agree. It's now just kids now either, I see grown adults sitting in cafés/bars watching videos with no headphones

Saltywalruss · 07/01/2023 22:00

Velda · 07/01/2023 19:19

Very young children can’t wear headphones. For one thing their ears are too small. They need to be about 4-5 before they can wear them safely. I agree that 5+ should be wearing headphones.

People would argue that they are too young to use screens at that age anyway.

However, you can buy toddler sized headphones .

icelolly12 · 07/01/2023 22:01

Anxiousmess2023 · 07/01/2023 19:50

So i have a 3 year old with sensory issues. The only thing i can get him to sit and chill for a little is a tablet. I understand the noise. However some children don't do well with headphones. I'd suggest bringing your own headphones for situations as such.

So you're suggesting that we all need to take headphones with us so your child can have their tablet on full blast?! The world has gone mad!!

Sensory issues or no sensory issues the world does not revolve around your child!!! They need to learn this or they will not cope in the real world! Step up and be a parent fgs.

Sillybanana · 07/01/2023 22:12

Because they are selfish. No need to play without headphones

TotallyAverage · 07/01/2023 22:15

People are absolutely mad.

'glued to screens at every meal'? Or more likely, 15-30 minutes whilst out in public waiting for the food to be cooked, maybe once a month? (I don't know how often people eat out - it's rare for us)

The needless hand wringing and judging of lazy, feckless parents using electronics to entertain their kids 🙄 it's Mumsnet at its absolute worst.

Also, people understand that screens are not necessarily bad. My kids read books, listen to audiobooks, teach your monster to read, matching games etc.

Unless you are witnessing a 5 year old playing call of duty for 6 hours solid whilst their parents ignore them...? Let's face it, how many people are seeing that versus a child playing or reading an age appropriate, even educational game for short periods?

It's never really occurred to me that people might be judging me for this until today and I'm not going to lie, it has both flummoxed and irked me a little.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 07/01/2023 23:22

@icelolly12 The vast majority of parents I witness in life are exactly like that. Their children will grow into adults with sensory issues who’ll have to either wear headphones 24/7 because of the next generation of parents who don’t care about subjecting their noise on everyone else. Best advice is for everyone else to wear headphones, sadly - these parents will never change.

ClubhouseGift · 08/01/2023 00:44

TotallyAverage · 07/01/2023 22:15

People are absolutely mad.

'glued to screens at every meal'? Or more likely, 15-30 minutes whilst out in public waiting for the food to be cooked, maybe once a month? (I don't know how often people eat out - it's rare for us)

The needless hand wringing and judging of lazy, feckless parents using electronics to entertain their kids 🙄 it's Mumsnet at its absolute worst.

Also, people understand that screens are not necessarily bad. My kids read books, listen to audiobooks, teach your monster to read, matching games etc.

Unless you are witnessing a 5 year old playing call of duty for 6 hours solid whilst their parents ignore them...? Let's face it, how many people are seeing that versus a child playing or reading an age appropriate, even educational game for short periods?

It's never really occurred to me that people might be judging me for this until today and I'm not going to lie, it has both flummoxed and irked me a little.

If you are giving your child a screen in restaurants then of course you will be judged.

You are doing it to shut them up. You are not teaching them patience or how to behave in a civilised society, and you are not allowing your child to learn how to properly behave in a restaurant.

FudgeSundae · 08/01/2023 08:31

funinthesun19 · 07/01/2023 19:54

However some children don't do well with headphones.

People also need to realise this, too. As long as the tablet isn’t on full blast and a comfortable volume what is the problem? If the tablet helps keep the child calm then surely that’s beneficial not only to the child but to the parent and the other passengers who would no doubt also complain about the noise if the child became distressed and restless. Sometimes common sense should just be used.

The problem is that electronic tablet music and noise is incredibly annoying, much more so than normal conversation. I’m neurodiverse and really struggle with background noise. I can deal with talking but radio/music is tricky and electronic bleeping is the worst. What some parents think is a “comfortable volume” just isn’t for me.

I do have headphones myself but really resent having to wear them for hours because parents aren’t parenting. (And yes, I have a nearly 2 and 3.5 year old. I try very hard not to let them disrupt others.)

Original poster

Biscuitbabe87 · 08/01/2023 11:14

It's so bad I've honestly noticed this so often now, it's been on almost every train journey that I've been on! To me it just shows a lack of self-awareness on the parents part and that keeping their kids entertained is far more important than the paying customers surrounding them (and it is bloody expensive). I was worried about making a scene, as the carriage was otherwise quiet, next time I will definitely say something!

OP posts:

Overthebow · 08/01/2023 11:23

It’s just selfish and there’s no excuse for it. Headphones, sound off or no screens, there should be no other option for anyone.

Nimbostratus100 · 08/01/2023 11:25

BabyFour2023 · 07/01/2023 18:27

I once got “shushed” on a train for reading to my then toddler. The woman rolled her eyes when I replied we were enjoying a book and would she rather he sit there bored.

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That is ridiculous! How would she have reacted if you had shushed her for talking to a travelling companion! good for you for not letting her intimidate you

Overthebow · 08/01/2023 11:28

Velda · 07/01/2023 19:19

Very young children can’t wear headphones. For one thing their ears are too small. They need to be about 4-5 before they can wear them safely. I agree that 5+ should be wearing headphones.

Yes they can, you can get toddler headphones. If your kid really can’t wear headphones then entertain them differently. There’s no excuse for screens that others can hear, it’s inconsiderate and rude.

Penguinsaregreat · 08/01/2023 11:28

There are a lot of rude bastards around.

MinnieMountain · 08/01/2023 11:34

General selfishness. I’ve stopped booking the quiet coach when I travel alone as the lack of quiet winds me up.

When we travel by train our 9yo has a mixture of iPad with headphones, family card games and small toys depending on how long it is. It’s a planned journey so we plan his entertainment.

Doodar · 08/01/2023 17:08

Anxiousmess2023 · 07/01/2023 19:50

So i have a 3 year old with sensory issues. The only thing i can get him to sit and chill for a little is a tablet. I understand the noise. However some children don't do well with headphones. I'd suggest bringing your own headphones for situations as such.

Unbelievable

Ultravox · 08/01/2023 17:10

This is why I now always have a set of earplugs in my handbag.

YABU it’s sooooooo rude!

ClaudiusTheGod · 09/01/2023 21:14

Goldbar · 07/01/2023 14:32

Lived a completely different life, I guess. They'd have gameboys and tamagotchis rather than ipads and smartphones. I remember flying to the Far East with my parents in the late 90s and they had video game consoles in the back of the seats and my older brother had a gameboy. I don't remember my parents spending huge amounts of time interacting with us and that was a 12 hour flight.

Though if I had the ability to travel back in time, I'd probably go back another 100 years or so and outsource my children to nursery maids and governesses while I visited them for a pleasant hour in the afternoon.

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Oh you'd have been an upper class woman, would you? Not a peasant taking in washing or a maid in service. What a revealing comment...

Namechangingagain111 · 09/01/2023 21:19

Agreed - I was in the local hospital pharmacy last week and there was a toddler there playing a REALLY loud video.
Why on earth can't they keep the noise down
It's lazy parenting, especially when you get people like a PP who is essentially saying "Oh you'll get judged whatever you do so just do whatever the fuck you like" i.e. don't ever think about being considerate....

Namechangingagain111 · 09/01/2023 21:20

And to other PPs, I had my own headphones in, playing music, and I could still hear the kid's tablet.....

Goldbar · 09/01/2023 21:53

ClaudiusTheGod · 09/01/2023 21:14

Oh you'd have been an upper class woman, would you? Not a peasant taking in washing or a maid in service. What a revealing comment...

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If we're going to indulge in make-believe scenarios, there's no way I'm casting myself as the scullery-maid 😂!

Chevybaby · 13/02/2023 21:12

Lol I had so many judgemental opinions on this stuff until I had the daughter that I have!

She is a wonderful 2 year old but veeeery wilful and doesn’t suffer in silence and there’s a limit to how much I am able to calm her down or control her behaviour. She’s half Italian, I assume it’s to do with her Mediterranean blood.

We often take 5 hour train trips to see family. We can just about do 4 hours of books, walking up and down the carriage, colouring in, chatting, snacking and snoozing but it will get to a point where she has absolutely had enough of the train, partly because it’s boring and partly because it’s too stimulating for her to nap there so she is spinning out with tiredness… so at that point I have to bring out the big guns aka cartoons. and will she wear headphones? Will she f*! I keep the volume low but it’s still grating but TRUST me it’s better than her top level screaming or throwing crayons at people or trying to pull everyone’s luggage off the rack or empty the train bins…

so yeah, sorry but also not sorry. Other people are annoying. Wear your own headphones or even better move to the quiet carriage.

Id like to add that my daughter gets plenty of eye contact, cuddles, conversation and interaction. But sometimes a bit of screen time saves everyone some drama 😊

Moreorlessmentallystable · 13/02/2023 21:16

People are so judgemental, they forget they ever had or were kids once. If kids are loud, or run around or inquisitive they complain, and if you entertain them with electronics they complain too. There is no pleasing people...