Page 6 | Why do some parents do this?

Biscuitbabe87 · 2023-01-07T10:34:03+00:00

I've noticed more often that whilst on public transport, parents with young children handing them tablets playing annoying repetitive music or tv shows(always without headphones)- this morning I've had to endure Dora the explorer for 3 hours! Why on earth do people think this is okay? Or am I being grumpy?

oudie · 07/01/2023 17:13

mincedtart · 07/01/2023 14:15

Sorry to derail but can people please stop saying things like “ADHD/ASD”. They’re not interchangeable. Not even slightly similar.

I thought / meant or, so that comment would mean ADHD or ASD.

Noicant · 07/01/2023 17:16

It’s probably to stop them kicking off and REALLY ruining your journey. But yes headphones would be thoughtful.

harrassedmumto3 · 07/01/2023 18:08

YANBU. And God forbid they should read them a book or interact.

Ncgirlseriously · 07/01/2023 18:13

YANBU. Parents should at least try with headphones. I got some travel headphones for my son when we needed to take a 11 hour train trip, and they worked really well.

I don’t think tablets for travel are bad, as long as they have other things to do. Though I’ll admit I am quite lucky in that my son loves trains and being on a train is fun for him.

BabyFour2023 · 07/01/2023 18:27

harrassedmumto3 · 07/01/2023 18:08

YANBU. And God forbid they should read them a book or interact.

I once got “shushed” on a train for reading to my then toddler. The woman rolled her eyes when I replied we were enjoying a book and would she rather he sit there bored.

ClubhouseGift · 07/01/2023 18:29

Because most parents are lazy and want the easy life. They don’t want to actually engage with their child and bring them up to be able to live in civilised society, they just want to shut them up.

funinthesun19 · 07/01/2023 18:42

I once got “shushed” on a train for reading to my then toddler. The woman rolled her eyes when I replied we were enjoying a book and would she rather he sit there bored.

God if you can’t read a book to keep your child calm and happy on public transport without some misery guts pulling their face, then it’s just proof you can’t win as a parent with small children.

saraclara · 07/01/2023 19:16

funinthesun19 · 07/01/2023 18:42

I once got “shushed” on a train for reading to my then toddler. The woman rolled her eyes when I replied we were enjoying a book and would she rather he sit there bored.

God if you can’t read a book to keep your child calm and happy on public transport without some misery guts pulling their face, then it’s just proof you can’t win as a parent with small children.

It depends how loudly you're reading it. When I read to my kids in public I did it at a very low volume that they could hear, but that wouldn't disturb anyone else. When someone two rows away can hear it, you're too loud.
Reading to your child is an intimate activity anyway. Your kid doesn't want to feel as though you're reading to the people across the aisle.

Velda · 07/01/2023 19:19

Very young children can’t wear headphones. For one thing their ears are too small. They need to be about 4-5 before they can wear them safely. I agree that 5+ should be wearing headphones.

Devoutspoken · 07/01/2023 19:22

If young kids can use screens they can wear headphones, what baloney

RedToothBrush · 07/01/2023 19:23

Velda · 07/01/2023 19:19

Very young children can’t wear headphones. For one thing their ears are too small. They need to be about 4-5 before they can wear them safely. I agree that 5+ should be wearing headphones.

uk.bestreviews.guide/toddler-headphones-for-3-year-old?origin=google&google_params

Your guide to the ten best headphones for 3 year olds...

Yes toddlers can wear headphones. There is a demand for toddler headphones therefore they exist...

Devoutspoken · 07/01/2023 19:25

These are for toddlers

funinthesun19 · 07/01/2023 19:30

It depends how loudly you're reading it. When I read to my kids in public I did it at a very low volume that they could hear, but that wouldn't disturb anyone else. When someone two rows away can hear it, you're too loud.

Lol I knew someone would come back at me with this. I wasn’t saying loudly, just a normal reading voice. And you have to read it loud enough for your child to be able to hear you. And let’s face it, someone sat in close proximity is going to hear you too. Most people wouldn’t think to tell someone to shush at that.

BabyFour2023 · 07/01/2023 19:33

saraclara · 07/01/2023 19:16

It depends how loudly you're reading it. When I read to my kids in public I did it at a very low volume that they could hear, but that wouldn't disturb anyone else. When someone two rows away can hear it, you're too loud.
Reading to your child is an intimate activity anyway. Your kid doesn't want to feel as though you're reading to the people across the aisle.

Show quote history

Of course I wasn’t reading across the aisle. It wasn’t a performance; I was reading to my child! He was laughing, I laughed at parts with him and confirmed things he was questioning about the book. The woman was sat opposite the table to me. She chose to sit there, plenty of other seats but chose to sit opposite a toddler enjoying a book.

BabyFour2023 · 07/01/2023 19:34

funinthesun19 · 07/01/2023 19:30

It depends how loudly you're reading it. When I read to my kids in public I did it at a very low volume that they could hear, but that wouldn't disturb anyone else. When someone two rows away can hear it, you're too loud.

Lol I knew someone would come back at me with this. I wasn’t saying loudly, just a normal reading voice. And you have to read it loud enough for your child to be able to hear you. And let’s face it, someone sat in close proximity is going to hear you too. Most people wouldn’t think to tell someone to shush at that.

PP proved your point beautifully; you just cannot win 😂🙈

mikado1 · 07/01/2023 19:39

Exactly!

Maybe different in Ireland, tho I'm sure plenty don't want to be disturbed, including me at times, but I've struck up lovely conversations in those situations, both with child and child free 🤷‍♀️ one older lady I still remember 7 years later being so kind and interested in my then 3 yo and it really helped to pass thr time. Likewise I've done the same. Children are people too, some people seem to think, still, that they should be seen and not heard while adults can chat and laugh etc.

funinthesun19 · 07/01/2023 19:41

He was laughing, I laughed at parts with him and confirmed things he was questioning about the book.

And this is ok too!
Adults talk and laugh on public transport without anybody complaining, so a small child laughing and talking with his mum while they quietly enjoy a book together is absolutely allowed too!

Goldbar · 07/01/2023 19:45

BabyFour2023 · 07/01/2023 19:33

Of course I wasn’t reading across the aisle. It wasn’t a performance; I was reading to my child! He was laughing, I laughed at parts with him and confirmed things he was questioning about the book. The woman was sat opposite the table to me. She chose to sit there, plenty of other seats but chose to sit opposite a toddler enjoying a book.

Show quote history

I'm sorry but the child you're reading to and chatting with is never going to be making less noise/disturbance than the child you've plugged into a screen with headphones 😂! Having said that, she probably would have tut-tutted to see a small child being entertained by screens... some people will take offence at anything.

Reading to your child, chatting to your child, playing with your child at a reasonable volume, entertaining your child with a screen... the takeaway seems to be that parents will be judged whatever they do, so they might as well please themselves (so long as the kids wear headphones!).

Anxiousmess2023 · 07/01/2023 19:50

So i have a 3 year old with sensory issues. The only thing i can get him to sit and chill for a little is a tablet. I understand the noise. However some children don't do well with headphones. I'd suggest bringing your own headphones for situations as such.

funinthesun19 · 07/01/2023 19:51

Reading to your child, chatting to your child, playing with your child at a reasonable volume, entertaining your child with a screen... the takeaway seems to be that parents will be judged whatever they do, so they might as well please themselves (so long as the kids wear headphones!).

Yep. Just do what you feel is best to quietly keep them happy and entertained. Someone will always be pulling their face no matter what you do.

Even if headphones are used! Something along the lines of… “Ugh. Lazy parents” Always something to judge about and whinge about.

BabyFour2023 · 07/01/2023 19:53

Goldbar · 07/01/2023 19:45

I'm sorry but the child you're reading to and chatting with is never going to be making less noise/disturbance than the child you've plugged into a screen with headphones 😂! Having said that, she probably would have tut-tutted to see a small child being entertained by screens... some people will take offence at anything.

Reading to your child, chatting to your child, playing with your child at a reasonable volume, entertaining your child with a screen... the takeaway seems to be that parents will be judged whatever they do, so they might as well please themselves (so long as the kids wear headphones!).

Show quote history

I didn’t say he was making less noise than a child watching something on a tablet. My post was in response to multiple PPs saying it would be better to interact with your children. My point, as is yours; you interact and you still get judged.

funinthesun19 · 07/01/2023 19:54

However some children don't do well with headphones.

People also need to realise this, too. As long as the tablet isn’t on full blast and a comfortable volume what is the problem? If the tablet helps keep the child calm then surely that’s beneficial not only to the child but to the parent and the other passengers who would no doubt also complain about the noise if the child became distressed and restless. Sometimes common sense should just be used.

IWineAndDontDine · 07/01/2023 20:44

IlIlI · 07/01/2023 11:13

Same reason anybody inconsiderate does anything! If you don't think like them, you won't know why. I have asked some people like this before, they say it's a public place so everybody should expect noise... One was letting her child scream on the bus, very regular bus times so one would be there soon after if she'd got off to sort the child. She said "haha, well, I have to listen to this shit at home all day every day, why shouldn't other people" and nudged me in a jokey way as if I would agree since we're both mother's or something and this was an in joke for parents.

Being a parent makes it no different to any other inconsiderate people really, other than the fact that this is what they're teaching their children too.

You think she should have taken her child off the bus? 😂😂😂😂😂 and she's the inconsiderate one? 😂

FusionChefGeoff · 07/01/2023 21:07

BabyFour2023 · 07/01/2023 10:38

A very young child on a 7.30am train for 3 hours would’ve needed entertaining. They could’ve used headphones but then, so could you.

Or books
Or pens
Or crayons
Or cards
Or toys
Or looking out if the window
Or more toys
Or a snack
Or a name that body part game

Or the million and one things that parents used to use to entertain kids before screens.

I HATE what screens are doing to parents - yes it's much much harder but I feel so sorry for toddlers who are glued to screens in their buggies / at every meal.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 07/01/2023 21:46

I'd have a bit of sympathy for you if you had to endure peppy pig 🤷‍♀️
But Dora is acceptable 🤣