Why do some parents do this?

[Biscuitbabe87]

I've noticed more often that whilst on public transport, parents with young children handing them tablets playing annoying repetitive music or tv shows(always without headphones)- this morning I've had to endure Dora the explorer for 3 hours! Why on earth do people think this is okay? Or am I being grumpy?

It's not just on public transport, it's in shops, cafes, restaurants, parks, hair salons, even the beach! Very young kids strapped in pushchairs or in trolleys glued to screens or sitting with their parents in restaurants also doing the same. It is so sad to see and I dread to think what it is doing to their development. When DCs were young this was not an option and there was a lot of concern that too much watching tv was bad but at least then we couldn't take it with us on the bus.

Also, I don't understand why anyone would hand a screen to a NT child in a restaurant, ever.

What's next? Encouraging them to spit on the table?

No screens at the table for anyone here.

There are two separate issues here which unfortunately tend to become muddled in these types of threads.

Issue 1: child listening to noisy programme (usually Peppa Pig or her ilk) on screen without headphones, annoying everyone in the vicinity.

Get that child some headphones or turn the sound off! My sympathies are entirely with the people nearby. People need to stop their kids being a nuisance to others. But I'm an intolerant traveller so would also add drunk people, football fans, people talking too loudly (including playing endless games of 'I spy') and eating smelly food to the list of things which should be entirely forbidden on public transport.

Issue 2: child glued to a screen on public transport (but sound off/wearing headphones).

Thank god for Peppa Pig, eh! The best child to sit near on a long journey is one staring vacantly at a screen - they're usually still and silent with no annoying parents playing "How many cows/bridges/wind turbines can we spot?" Who cares about child development, addiction issues, emotional regulation etc. in relation to SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD? Firstly, long journeys/boring meals in restaurants are the ideal time to use screens. Second, it's SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD. Let them parent how they like and butt out, unless the kids are being noisy or annoying you. Not your business, unless you're offering to entertain them.

Still doesn't make it ok

What a terrible waste of 3 hours when the parent and child could have been interacting and enjoying each other's company

Couldn't care less about kids being on screens, it's a good way to ensure they are not a nuisance and are kept still and safe in busy/boring scenarios. I am assuming they are not watching porn or slasher movies so probably not going to damage them forever...

As for the lack of headphones - that is unforgivable. It's not just kids though, adults do it all the time and it makes my blood boil.

*Also, I don't understand why anyone would hand a screen to a NT child in a restaurant, ever.

What's next? Encouraging them to spit on the table?*

😂 This is sarcasm I hope

Why do people act like tablets have always been a thing. I never had a tablet and I also didn't scream and wriggle because I knew there would be consequences. There are other interactive things you can use other than a tablet to keep a child entertained

The parent and child have many other opportunities to interact and enjoy each other's company when they're not stuck in a confined space where they might annoy others 🙄.

rubbish, if you are travelling with someone you like, you interact. When has a conversation between passengers annoyed others, nobody sits in silence on buses and trains, do they?

ANd travel time is often the best time to get really close to a child, discuss things in depth, listen to them carefully. There are very few opportunities like sitting side by side for a couple of hours looking out of the window together and chatting

What a terrible waste of 3 hours when the parent and child could have been interacting and enjoying each other's company

I'm obviously a horrendous, lazy, selfish, entitled parent and my children are DOOMED because 3 hours of 'enjoying' my children's company on a bus sounds like utter hell.

I absolutely love spending time with my children, but would 100% use a screen on a 3 hour bus journey. With headphones.

I commute every day both by bus and train and this drives me nuts. It’s also adults increasingly doing this. I usually say something.

Nope.

It's basic table manners to engage with your fellow diners.

No screens at the table.

I was on a plane recently and there were about three separate kids playing on tablets with the sound blasting. The cabin crew didn't do anything to stop them, though I have no doubt if I started blasting music from my phone to block out the sounds of Peppa and Dora, they would very quickly tell me to turn it off.

It's rude of the parents and shows no consideration of other passengers. If you can afford to buy a tablet then you can afford headphones too.

With headphones totally reasonable

Without headphones completely unreasonable

I don't think I could take 3 hours of Dora. I think I'd have said something.

Equating watching a tablet and spitting on the table though?

MN is absolutely bonkers. I (and every other parent I know in real life) shall continue to use screens with headphones in restaurants and transport, those around me will silently thank me, and MNers will silently judge me. Meanwhile my perfectly normally developed children will have a nice quiet time playing and DH and I might have some peace for a short while in our otherwise noisy, chaotic and happy lives.

If I had to be on a three hour train journey with anyone, the very last thing I would want to do is have to talk the whole way. I'd want to read or listen to something, maybe even doze a bit. Is that so bad?

Last time I took my 4yo son on a long journey, I had a whole bag full of sticker books, colouring books, dominoes and yes, a tablet and headphones that we used on a rotation. Expecting him to just sit still and converse with me the whole way would have been boring and frustrating for us both.

And I'd prefer to sit next to your children on a plane or in a restaurant rather than children noisily playing board games, throwing toy cars or chewing crayons or having their parents painstakingly 'interact' with them for hours😁.

I love that it only took 5 posts before the tories got blamed for a kid watching Dora the exploration on a train 🤣

Not public transport but at a nice-ish tearoom, child at next table with very loud tablet no headphones. For me, t really tainted what should have been a special treat. I got a souvenir fridge magnet which also feels tainted. Which is possibly a slight overreaction to be fair!

On the flip side, went for a family meal last year. My cousin brought his new girlfriend who seems to be some kind on magic child whisperer. She whipped the travel cluedo out of her tiny handbag and the kids (who hadn't played it before) loved it - no screens required. (Although I have no judgement when headphones used)

How old are are your children?

Travel cluedo sounds awesome! I'm happy my eldest is nearly at the bananagrams stage. Even despite his development having been dreadfully hindered by screen use last time we were at pizza express... 🤔

@Biscuitbabe87

I think there’s a middle ground to be hit.
I have a nearly 3yo who is autistic and a 19mo who isn’t. I hate being in any sort of waiting around public situation with them tbh whether that’s transport, waiting for food at a table or in queues. It SUCKS. I honestly didn’t have a clue how much it would suck when I had them else I probably wouldn’t have tbh.

I tend to apply the following

• Whack out a toy
• shush and distract
• present a snack/water
• grab the phone and play YouTube

My 19mo is easier to distract as she’s interested in surroundings, people and everyday stuff but my eldest is totally in his own world and will not respond to anything other than snacks and YouTube really. I suppose the question is would you rather listen to YouTube (always keep it on low but he won’t tolerate headphones/earbuds) or my autistic child screeching, screaming and repeatedly smashing his head against things? It’s not his fault, or mine, that he’s disabled and he’s as entitled to use public facilities as everyone else.

As with everything else in life I think it’s just a case of ‘if you don’t want to tolerate other peoples noise/smells/presence, don’t use public transport’

This exactly, were removing all creativity and the ability to sit think or daydream they even do it walking around the woods it's like the Pixar film where humans are in water beds attached to screens a wallowing mass of useless blubber

Obviously the ideal on a long journey is to rotate things around, so chat, snack, book, tablet with headphones or at least a very low volume, toy, repeat. Devices at loud volume with no headphones for an extended time would be annoying for other passengers. Although I do find it funny the amount of people horrified the parents didn't spend the entire 3 hours "engaging with the child" when you literally can't go a week on mn without someone moaning/judging about so called "performance parenting" which is usually just literally a parent talking to their kid in public. So yeah, basically parents will get judged by someone whatever they do so why not do whichever is easier for you and your family!