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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parent in pyjamas at this time

166 replies

igotatext · 06/01/2023 15:10

My daughter (9) had her friend over for a sleepover last night but her friend got home sick. Her mum is a single mum and has a younger child and was in the house alone so I offered to drop the friend home, so did that at 1 am. Came home, and didn't manage to get to sleep till about half 2.

So today I decided we were just having a day in the house. I went for a shower and put on fresh jammies. My daughter closed the living room curtains to watch a film and be 'cosy'.

Suddenly there's a knock at the door. I answer and it's friends lovely mum with a bunch of lovely flowers for me to thank me for last night. I thanked her and said she didn't need to do that and off she went.

I am now just so affronted what she must think of me, living room curtains closed at 2 in the afternoon, me in my pyjamas, not a scratch of make up on (and I have really red, bad skin) and I just keep cringing thinking what must she think of me.

In those circumstances would you judge a parent for the same reasons? Or am I overthinking?

OP posts:
Coffeepot72 · 06/01/2023 16:14

When I’m at home I always wear comfy casual stuff/gym wear etc and a touch of make up, as it makes me feel better to be presentable. I’d probably be the same if I lived on a desert island. But I don’t give a monkeys what other people wear when they’re at home!

AxolotlEars · 06/01/2023 16:14

Over thinking

BraveFaceScaredInside · 06/01/2023 16:16

OnTheRoadAgain1 · 06/01/2023 16:09

I literally only wear pyjama's as lounge wear and not night wear, so comfortable!

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Same here 😁

Bertha21 · 06/01/2023 16:18

I often stay in my pjs if I’m cleaning etc. I like you would have wondered what the other parent thought. I would mention or message and explain but that’s just me! When you thank her for the flowers.

MaryJean87 · 06/01/2023 16:19

I wouldn't care what someone else was wearing, OP. I often put pj bottoms on if I'm not going out. Don't stress about it.

OnTheRoadAgain1 · 06/01/2023 16:21

Xmasgrinchywinchy · 06/01/2023 16:07

I agree. I can’t imagine getting showered and putting pyjamas back on. I wouldn’t do it, I would wear leggings and a sweatshirt but for me, I like to be dressed during the day and do find it a bit odd but that’s just me

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So you will put clean lounge wear on but not clean pyjama's? What's the difference?

tinybyxor · 06/01/2023 16:21

Would she have noticed that they were pyjamas? I might not have even noticed - my pyjamas are just a top and leggings.
Either way, I doubt she would have thought anything negative. How lovely to bring flowers!

DesertIslandCondiment · 06/01/2023 16:24

BradfordGirl · 06/01/2023 16:10

I would I admit wonder if you were coping okay or just lazy.

I would be more judgemental if they had a t-shirt and shorts on to be fair in this weather.

I love a pj movie afternoon.

Bluekerfuffle · 06/01/2023 16:25

I would think you had a bad night and had just got out of bed, but that’s not a crime. I wouldn’t wear pyjamas unless I was going to bed, but do wear very comfortable leggings and T-shirt at home, not clothes I would go out in, so it’s not much different.

OnTheRoadAgain1 · 06/01/2023 16:25

BraveFaceScaredInside · 06/01/2023 16:16

Same here 😁

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Don't think some people realise that others don't wear PJ's in bed... or shock horror...they put on clean ones during the day if they're not expecting visitors!

Waiting on 'I have a full face of make up and am always respectfully dressed sitting on my couch at any time just in case someone pops by with flowers, show some respect for yourself'.

FriedEggChocolate · 06/01/2023 16:26

You were up at 1am driving her daughter home. I wouldn't question why you were in pyjamas later that day, just grateful you'd been able to drive DD home.

Marblessolveeverything · 06/01/2023 16:26

She was grateful you took such good care of her daughter. She was probably having an internal monologue giving out to herself for agreeing to the sleepover, mortified you had to go out at that late hour. Stop, you are using an unkind internal voice that you wouldn't use on others.

We all are guilty of it but I am trying to catch myself and say - what would I think? and honestly I wouldn't bat an eyelid!

lightisnotwhite · 06/01/2023 16:34

Mmm, my first thought would probably be “ lazy” quite honestly. It’s the pyjamas. I quite like an afternoon nap but it’s just a kip on the sofa. I ‘d only be in nightwear in the afternoon if I was ill. No make up is fine and I’d assume the curtains were closed to stop light in the telly.
But I can’t say I would think anything of it after my initial reaction really.

katepilar · 06/01/2023 16:35

I wouldnt spend time thinking about what people are wearing around their home.

On the other hand I never understood the pyjamas culture. Why do people need to wear pyjamas if they want to be comfortable and not something else is something I never understood.

Jaybird43 · 06/01/2023 16:36

Bless you, OP! She wouldn’t have thought anything of it. You were kind to take her DD home at that time in the morning! Don’t stress 💐

ImprobablePuffin · 06/01/2023 16:37

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 06/01/2023 15:28

I don't get dressed unless I am leaving the house... So like 3 times a week 🙈

Same here and I always feel riddled with guilt about it. Don't know why.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 06/01/2023 16:38

Me since 2pm today…. Day bath, Jim jams, pot of tea, tin of shortbread, desert island discs pod casts. If someone comes to the door I will revel in showing them what a fabulous afternoon I am having in my tea stained attire.

shrunkenhead · 06/01/2023 16:39

I would judge because I wouldn't answer the door without getting properly dressed myself, unless it's an early delivery before 8am. I'd assume you were unwell. I know "pyjama days" are a thing but I think people will think I'm lazy or ill if I'm in night wear between the hours of 8am and 10pm. Obviously at the weekend you can stay in Pjs a bit later eg 10am at latest.

steff13 · 06/01/2023 16:40

I don't know that I would have noticed any of that. Or, if I did, I don't think that I would have made any judgment based on it.

RenovationsUnderway · 06/01/2023 16:44

Maybe you were unwell!

RenovationsUnderway · 06/01/2023 16:46

katepilar · 06/01/2023 16:35

I wouldnt spend time thinking about what people are wearing around their home.

On the other hand I never understood the pyjamas culture. Why do people need to wear pyjamas if they want to be comfortable and not something else is something I never understood.

True... I just wear horrible clothes instead

OnTheRoadAgain1 · 06/01/2023 16:46

lightisnotwhite · 06/01/2023 16:34

Mmm, my first thought would probably be “ lazy” quite honestly. It’s the pyjamas. I quite like an afternoon nap but it’s just a kip on the sofa. I ‘d only be in nightwear in the afternoon if I was ill. No make up is fine and I’d assume the curtains were closed to stop light in the telly.
But I can’t say I would think anything of it after my initial reaction really.

But I only wear pyjama's if I'm chilling out during the day. I don't wear anything to bed so all clean and more comfortable than sitting fully dressed. I really don't get the issue, it is the exact same as lounge wear.

Squisageandmosh · 06/01/2023 16:48

Op I wouldn’t worry. It would have been fairly obvious that you had just showered and put on clean clothes. A very different look to someone who has been in pjs all night and then all day!

Also, please don’t worry about your skin. It would have been odd to wear a full face of make up with pjs. And she was probably just relieved and focused on the fact that she had caught you indoors having trekked over with flowers and that she could deliver her present!

You both sound lovely btw.

HariKris · 06/01/2023 16:50

Were they the Jammies you got for Chrimbo and will wear on Holibobs?

DonutsAreNotLunch · 06/01/2023 16:51

If I was the other mum I would totally be overthinking this the other way “omg she was in her pjs, she must be totally shattered after driving dd home last night, we’ve probably ruined their whole day…she’ll be so annoyed”
I wouldn’t judge anyone for being in their pjs though! It’s pretty normal these days.